Madame Blossom's Book of Poems

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Julie and Julia

I have been wanting to watch this movie for the longest time. I missed it at the cinemas. And I was always unsure if I really wanted to buy the DVD. Finally it's shown on HBO. :D

I like the movie. It's about finishing what we start. It's about learning about ourselves. It's about marriage and appreciating our spouses. It's about cooking.

But sad to say.. not enough to light the passion fire for me to cook. But that's okay - I now appreciate cooks more. I have believed before and even now, that, when a person loves what they are doing - you'll be able to sense it in their final product. So when a cook, cooks with love and passion - you can see it and taste it in their food.

It is based on a true story. If you look up Julia Child and Julie Powells, you can read about them. You can even get the link to Julie Powells original blog when she was attempting to finish the recipe book.

What I hope to take away from this - is the determination and doing what we aim and love to do, with passion. And not giving up.

The movie, had a happy ending. Julia Child and Julie Powells, both became published writers. Although one unhappy (truth?) is that, Julia Child did not like Julie Powells work. That goes to show you cannot possibly please everyone - and if we do what we do, with a clear conscious for God and for ourselves - then, that is already perfectly alright.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

the butterfly

MasyaAllah! I just realised it was a dream, what I saw just now. For a while, at the back of my mind - I thought it was something that really happened.

I was out 5am in the morning, then I got back home about 7am and I slept a bit before I woke up again about 830am..

Before I totally forget, in my dream..

I think I was at a gathering at some house, my aunts were there, and we were going to leave - but they took their time, so I walked out slowly first. As I looked ahead to where I should pass, I saw the surrounding is a jungle (must be the topic last night) and the path we 'normally' would take has thick growth now. A few bushes had fully grown. But I saw that I could probably squeeze through by the side, between the bushes and the railings, so I walked through, brushing the bushes, and stepping over, what I don't know could be underneath, cause you can't really see.

Then I looked by the railing and I saw there was like a basement floor.. someone was there.. Can't figure out who. They were taking pictures. I got to the other side where there was a clearing.. Then I thought, I better go back so that I can guide the others. And suddenly I saw this beautiful butterfly on a leaf of one of the bushes that covered the pathway. As I walked nearer, it flew away, and it landed on some wall now, and it's bigger and it's very colourful, and it's the most beautiful butterfly I had ever seen. I wanted to take a photo, but I don't have my camera with me.. I only managed to take it with my phone. It flew and it could transform into an insect, then it turned into the butterfly again when it wanted to fly.

I walked back to the other side.. and met my husband. Then we went into.. what seem like an indonesian buffet restaurant - two floors. and while waiting for our table, I sat with two older ladies, and we were talking about how she liked the food there.. I think. And then I went to look for a table to sit.

And then, I woke up.


See.. the thing is, this morning, nyai (my husband's grandma) had just passed away. I'd love to think that she is the beautiful butterfly I saw in my dream.

May God forgive her sins, bless her soul, let her be among the blessed and grant her a blissful Afterlife. Ameen.

Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

30 day challenge - Day 16-30 and END

Haih. Seriously, I cannot bring myself to go through the 30 days stuff that we're suppose to write about.
I feel silly.

But you know what, just to finish what I started, so that it doesn't become a constant habit of mine to always leave something halfway done.. let's just do this in one day. Sooo.. where was I.. ok..

Day 16 - Short term goals for this month and why.
I want to finish at least one video I started - why? because I started since last month before I went on hiatus. I have to finish this.

Day 17 - How you hope your future will be like.
Peaceful, calm, with good iman, health, wealth etc. Die in iman and easy death. ameen.

Day 18 - 5 things that irritate me about others (actually they wrote opposite/same sex.. that equals others in general lah).
Right now, I can't think of any really irritating thing. I don't want to think about this.. I don't want to be irritated by others, when I don't easily get irritated. I just want to reflect on myself. Oh ok.. wait, I know. What irritates me, not really about others, but about people in general - is their fuss over trivial earthly matters in life - especially when it totally has no direct relation or impact on them. Especially part gossip2. I think that's it for now - like I said, don't want to think about it.

Day 19 - a picture of something you want to do before you die.
I tak kuasa nak cari gambar. I want to leave something behind, like a good book or a good movie that would somehow make others want to be better people - before I die. InsyaAllah. Ameen.

Day 20 - The meaning behind my blog name.
It is seriously what goes on DEEP within my neurons.

Day 21 - A phot of something that makes me happy.
Any beautiful view of nature, makes me elated and happy, that few seconds or minutes of blissfulness.

Day 22 - A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
No one has hurt me recently.. if there's anyone, i guess it's me myself. So, to me, I'd like to say, get a grip, focus on life's objectives, keep the doa going, stay God-conscious and move on.

Day 23 - 15 facts about you.
My God! isn't the 30 days enough fact about me? go read.

Day 24 - A photo of something that means a lot to me.
My family and friends, mean a lot to me. A lot to learn with the different people we meet. I'm glad we crossed path.

Day 25 - Who are you.
My name is Erni. I'm a struggling Muslim.

Day 26 - A photo of somewhere you want to go.
Go search google image for Middle Eastern countries with beautiful historical architectures - so that we can learn from the past.

Day 27 - What kind of person attracts you.
A person who has a good heart, and has a strong sense of who they are and not easily influenced by the masses.

Day 28 - In the past month, what have you learned.
A lot. Too much to say. But still not enough.

Day 29 - Something you could never get tired of doing.
Gaining more knowledge, so as to strengthen my iman.

Day 30 - A photograph of myself today, and 3 good things that have happened in the last 30 days.
I don't feel like putting a photo.. don't feel narcissistic today.
3 good things in the past month: I am more aware of myself. I'm still healthy and sane. I still have my family with me.

yeay! done. :p

Monday, March 21, 2011

Day 15 - Something you don't leave the house without.

Clothes with some head covering. MUST have it on.

Other than that, wallet (which contains money, ATM card, credit card), and iPhone. I usually don't leave the house without them.
iPhone keeps me in touch with the 'world' everywhere I go. Keeps me occupied if I'm waiting for something/someone.

BUT, don't you think that it's not a good thing? To feel so dependent on something that you feel like you cannot leave the house without it. I'd like to break away from that dependency.

So, recently, I have managed to leave my house without my iPhone. I left it at home when I went for a walk in the jungle. Just brought a some cash with me. It felt quite good actually. Not to be in constant connection with the 'world' and being accessible to the 'world'. This would be especially so, when I just want to go out and be ALONE.

That leaves.. the clothes with some head covering and a bit of cash.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Day 14 (30 day challenge) - A TV show you're currently addicted to.

For many many years now, I don't watch TV much, if not at all. So there isn't a single TV series that I'm addicted to. I'm not even addicted to TV. Once in a purplish blue moon (this should be more rare than a blue moon), when I do watch TV - it's mostly just what's already on - that is switched on by other family members.

If we talk about previous series that I used to follow when I was younger and religiously watched TV every week - then I currently recall and enjoyed watching - Friends, Ally McBeal, Jerry Seinfeld - oh I forgot the other one.. where there are two brothers. The elder one is a radio DJ, and they are always arguing. Tak penting.

I have watched a few episodes of Monk & The Mentalist. I enjoyed it - but still it doesn't make me religiously look forward to the next episode. So it's always a case of IF I happen to be watching TV and it's the day and time that these shows are showing, then I'd watch.

I know. Boring I am, to most.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Day 13 (30 day challenge) - Picture of favourite band or artiste.

Dah penat nak cakap takde favourites per se. But right now, the artiste I most frequently listen to is Jake Shimabukuro. If anyone knows that he is coming here (Singapore or Malaysia) for some performance, do inform me.

When I listen to his music, it makes me pay attention to the silence, the softest of sounds and to every single note played - and it makes you appreciate simplicity.

You know, sound - is also a part of Allah's creations. How the sound reaches our ears and sound the way it sounds - is really science and it's really amazing. Subhanallah. And the pleasure it sometimes bring.. masyaAllah.

So, anyhow, this is the first video that I came across of him, playing. Thereafter I looked up his other performances and I've come to love his music.

"I've always believe that the ukelele is an instrument of peace. And if everyone plays the ukelele, then this world would be a much happier place." - Jake Shimabukuro :p

Friday, March 18, 2011

Day 12 (30 day challenge) - Your current relationship

It's long. It's good. It's complicated. It is a lifetime learning experience. It is tough. It is sweet. It is something sometimes I want to let go off. It is something to fight for. It is a test. It is a blessing. It is marriage.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Day 11 (30 day challenge) - Picture of my favourite memory

How can I print a picture of my favourite memory. Agaaaaain.. favourite. Brapa kali aku nak cakap.. takde favourites. And I don't have a picture of my memories per se.

By this age, there are so many memories.. like.. there are places I remember all my life, for some have changed - some forever, not for better. Some have gone and some remain.

Oh you know what.. let's just sing it.


Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Day 10 (30 day challenge) - Photo of favourite place to eat

As mentioned before.. I don't have a favourite. I have places I like to eat. I don't really ENJOY food, cause I eat to live or to pass time. So if I have a few favourite place to eat, it's not because the food is awesome - of course the food has to be acceptably good lah - but it's because I love the atmosphere or the ambience.

Among them are

Changi Gurame - by the sea, open only at night. You can see planes landing.. many planes landing - it's like seeing the 'airport controller' game LIVE. And then the boats and the sound of the waves.

West Coast Park Mcd (I hate having to include 'Mcd' - cause I avoid the food, but I love that place). Nice breeze, a lot of greeneries.

Pacific Coffee - Vivo - overlooking Sentosa. Nice place to sit and do work.

Aiman Cafe - A coffeeshop bawah block, with a good variety of food, and very cosy and comfortable. Must be the wooden flooring look. Very airy and bright and clean.

Azhar - near and convenient.

Arab Street - Sarabat or KG Cafe - nice local place to chit chat with friends.

Simpang Bedok - good place also to lepak and be with friends for the cheap drinks/food (compared to the the first 3 places)

Ok I think that's about all yang lebih regular. I don't mind other places too, cause like I said, I don't have a favourite. As long as the place fits the mood of the moment - ok go. OOOH.. of course must be halal.


Sunday, March 13, 2011

Day 8 (30 day challenge) - My dream wedding

Wedding over.. but given a chance to say what my dream wedding would be like - now, that i'm more matured.. ahem... it would be simplicity.

Me, him, our parents and a couple of good friends (to help snap the moment), at the syariah court. In... ok lah nice clothes - not gawdy.. just nice. Baju kurung pun ok lah.

Then after that, we all go Swensens to eat (I am so going to Swensens!). Azhar also can.
When we have the mood, and not forgetting MONEY, we can invite other people to a restaurant for a celebration dinner another time.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Day 7 (30 day challenge) - A Photo of an animal I'd like to keep as a pet.

I love animals. I love all creatures, God's creations. Touching them and being near them is a totally different story. LOOKING after them or confining them is also not something I want to do.

But here is a picture that I like.. and this is my 2 minute pet. I liked how it felt.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Day 6 (30 day challenge) - A song to match your mood

I want to be a hero and find the hero in me.
So this is me singing this song about 20 years ago.
Sekarang da taubat, tak perform lagi.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Day 5 (30 day challenge) - What makes me different

Ok, I need a whole page.. or maybe not.

What makes me different, I would say, from MOST people..

I don't have a 'favourite' thing (e.g colour, food, drink etc).. everything is subjective.

I ALWAYS have something on my mind. Any second, (if you dare), ask me what I'm thinking about - there's surely something. But some could be weird stuff, so don't say I didn't warn you.

I have this determination NOT to be like others. I want to do things the way I want to do it. Of course in terms of what I think is right or best way. But DEFINITELY hate just doing the norm or the standard or something that's by the book - just because that's the way it is usually done. We need to THINK and KNOW why we do things the way we do. We need to do things the new, creative way. We need to think of of the box and perhaps out of the world.

I'm short.

Yeap.. that's all I can think of now..


Wednesday, March 09, 2011

On autopilot, on the expressway.

Pan Island Expressway. Entrance from Toh Guan. Three lanes. I was fully aware when I got onto the expressway and filtered all the way to the fast lane. Then I was thinking of something.. and got into a deep thought.. so deep that, the next thing I knew I was back in the slow lane, ready to exit from the expressway to my home. I was genuinely surprised to find myself on the left most lane cause I TOTALLY don't recall the part when I filtered back to the most left lane.

The amazing thing is.. the BRAIN, it has the 'procedural' memory that gets stored in the head, and it's being recalled even without my conscious effort. I'm sure "I" signalled and checked for traffic before I filtered to the left most lane. MasyaAllah. A clear example of how the eyes, hands and legs can do things, without our consciously 'instructing' them to do it. The subsconscious mind just took over, when my conscious mind was busy.

Really, Subhanallah.

Trippy, again.

Day 4 (30 day challenge) - Favourite photo of best friend

I don't have it.

Oh I have a lot of best friends.. but the one I can ALWAYS count on, when I feel like I cannot talk to anyone else.. is God. No photo.


Tuesday, March 08, 2011

Day 3 (30 day challenge) - A perfect date.

this 'date' can be with anyone right? I mean like i can date a girlfriend.. It's just a meeting. In any case, be it a girl or a guy or ..a pet, a... (where got such thing as perfect??) nearly perfect date would be :

low lights, soft breeze
waves splash upon the beach

sheet spread on soft white sand
on this bed our bodies land

legs up against a chair
our minds are free and with no care

leaves from the coconut trees
form a border for our scene

of the black black canvas sky
distant stars that's up so high

diamonds sparkle for our eyes
keep us in awe, as we lie

on the soft white sandy beach
star gazing till we fall asleep

~madame blossom~


Monday, March 07, 2011

We see what we THINK we see.

I have a VERY real experience of this. Actually I just finished reading a book on psychology... ok the title of the book makes it not so 'professional'. It's called 'An Idiot's guide to Psychology' But hey, it's a good start. So anyhow, in the book, it explains how the mind works and how we get information through our senses - e.g. the sight, sound, tastes. From the lights (sight), sounds and touch that we experience - goes into our brains and gets converted into information that makes sense in our mind. Subhanallah.

Which actually reminded me of how Rasulullah SAW received wahyu (revelations) from Allah SWT. But.. let's take that in another post, so that it's not undermined as an important subject on it's own.

So, the real experience I was going to tell is.. that over the weekend, my handphone was dead, from Sat night, all the way to Sunday night. I didn't touch my handphone except to take it out from my bag and put it on the bay window, Sunday afternoon.

When I told my husband that my phone was dead.. he said that he saw me reading from my handphone, in bed Sunday morning. I assured him NO, because I was and am still, now, very dead sure, my phone was dead. I didn't charge it yet, so how could I be reading from my handphone?? But he was so sure he saw me holding my phone and reading from it. And the weirdest and quite a scary thing is that, Nadhrah, my youngest daughter confirmed the same thing! She agreed and was so sure that, yes, she too, saw me reading from my iphone in bed that morning. I told them I was reading a BOOK actually, I was not holding my iphone at all. But they were still so adamant that they saw me holding my iphone. In fact, my husband said that I turned my iphone a bit to the side, so that he couldn't see what I was reading. And Nadhrah said she saw the time on my iPhone and also the background in my iPhone. But when I asked her what I was reading, she didn't remember.

The fact is, my iphone WAS dead for the whole day and I didn't read it. Imagine what this would have done to me, if I was on trial and they are called to be witnesses in the court of human law. Both of them dead sure of what they 'saw'. But surely, as in this case, what they 'saw' was actually what they THOUGHT they saw - because that's what they ALWAYS see. And this image is somehow retained in their minds, and they 'see' me doing it on Sunday morning. Everything else is the same, except for what I was holding. MasyaAllah..


And this is prove also for what constant subtle images do to our subconscious minds. It plants them in our mind, quite firmly I must say. That's why, we need to keep planting subtle positive images in our Dunia Chantek's productions. Seriously.

Sunday, March 06, 2011

Day 2 (30 day challenge) - Favourite Movie

Go to post titled "Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind "


In the last post, I just talked about the poem and how I love the movie. I love it because it talks about fate. I love the story and how it unveils itself. I like charlie kaufman as a screenplay writer.

Now, since in the last year, I've been involved in productions, I have to say, I love the technical details of the movie also.

I love how the movie starts, the music, the images, and how the titles come in only at almost the 18th minute.. I like the camera works, I love the dialogue, I love the cuts, it's brilliant. Did I say I like the accompanying music?

Yes, I love everything about this movie.

p.s. thanks eh.. now I'm watching it.. yet again. Aaaaand.. i just realised, that I have the same orange hoodie sweater that Clementine wears at the beach. :D

Saturday, March 05, 2011

Day 1 (30 day challenge) - Favourite Song

Anis.. untuk kau nis... :p Here we go! Day 1.

Actually, many favourite songs la kan... But if I have to share a song with all, and it's among my favourites.. then I'd like to share this one by Jason Mraz - Life is Beautiful.

And I LOVE this rendition with minimal instruments. I've always like minimal instruments. I'd like to go to a concert where they only use the acoustic guitar or ukelele then sing. Then we'd be able to focus on the message of the song and the music, rather than the 'noise'.