Madame Blossom's Book of Poems

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Compliments are bad for you.

Every now and then I discover how complete Islam is. It teaches us human how to live on this earth, how to treat one another, what's good and bad for one another. Recently, I've discovered some hadith on compliments that is actually contradicatory to the advice given by the Westerns. Western psychologists says compliments are good.

We've been told to give compliments and that it would increase the recipient's self confidence. Well it does, in fact sometimes, it does it so much, that the recipient has high expectations that others will see it the same way. This is especially dangerous when the compliment given is not even true.. the just to be nice kind.

Compliments, with reminders can increase self confidence - but having them always, actually makes a person over confident or believing that we're more than we really are. In worse cases, arrogance sets in.

I'm used to getting compliments, and of course I feel macam kepala ni membesar sikit when I get them. And frankly, I find myself macam having this air of arrogance even though it's only a little and tak ketara - like knowing or expecting others to see me like that. It's a feeling that I sometimes feel, is hard to avoid - it just comes. And some of them do and say it out and that makes it worse. Sometimes I remember to istighfar and remind myself, this comes from Allah SWT.

Another thing is.. when you keep getting them.. you keep expecting them, and when it doesn't come for quite a while.. you somehow feel.... like losing a bit of self confidence. Unless you remind yourself again, it's a blessing (or not) from Allah and Allah is free to take it back anytime.
I came across these hadiths:

1) It is reported on the authority of Abu Bakrah, may Allah be pleased with him, who said: A man praised another man in the presence of Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him), whereupon he said: Woe be to you, you have chopped the neck of your friend, you have chopped the neck of your friend, he said this twice. If one of you has to praise his friend at all, he should say: I think (him to be) so and Allah knows it well and I do not know the secret of the heart and Allah knows the destined end, and I cannot testify his purity against Allah but (he appears) to be so and so. (Sahih Muslim - 5319)

2) Abu Musa, may Allah be pleased with him, reported: Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) saw a man lauding another person or praising him too much. Thereupon he said: You killed him, or you sliced the back of the man. (Sahih Muslim - 5321)

So the thing is avoid praising people too much, and if you have to praise someone, do remind them at the same time, that it comes from Allah, and how it is in the end, remains to be seen.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Da Bomb, not the Ruffedge song.. i mean I got that term from that song, but it's nothing to do with a beautiful female. By the way.. 'da bomb' in that song always gives me the impression of a lady who has a more than average size boobs, wearing sexy clothes long hair, thick make up and probably with low IQ. That's only my imagination lah..

But, but the topic of concern here is about the 'cake that I was baking'. The project that was forced to be completed within a ridiculous lead time..considering all the other junks they throw on the vendors. The programming was completed by our vendors the night before it was supposed to be deployed to LIVE.. (but this programmer also poor thing lah.. everything also he must do... where can he find time??? he needs to sleep and eat also leh!)

The users had no time to test it. My boss, let's call this character DAVE - says that we should deploy it. I said ' don't you want to wait for users to complete testing and wait for their approval?' He said, 'Never mind, deploy first.' Fine, we did.

And all hell NEARLY breaks lose the next day - da bomb. This stupid rushed program, caused the whole system to go into snail gear!! And yesterday was suppose to be closing day. The whole day was spent trying to rectify the situation. And in the evening, I got a call from the IT Head and she tells me.. did you let users test? why deploy it and the end of the month? kaza wa kaza.. I wonder if she has spoken to Dave. I just 'a-ah' kan aje. because I hate to point fingers here and there. Now I FEEL GUILTY and I don't know why I should!!!!! Ceh!!!..

Nasib baik, i have the long holidays to take a break with. I'll survive, insyaAllah.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

What a woman wants

Basically some attention and affection. You've heard it before.. and it's true and a fact! And this has been the cause of some unhappiness in marriage among women, especially independent women.

And especially when she's used to getting all the attention when she was young and single. Then, she got married. And that over the years, the husband starts to, not pay that much attention to her or give her the affection that she actually still longs for, even when she already have kids.

While lacking affection and attention at home, it creates a room for the woman to have unwanted feelings for other guys, who pays attention to her. Only thing that's missing now is the affection. But she still hopes that she gets that from her husband. Sometimes it's there, but sparingly. She wonders, what happens if one day, somebody starts to give her the affection she's been always waiting for from her husband. Would she be able to ignore it? It's easy to say - 'don't' or 'you shouldn't'. But it's difficult to control what the heart feels. Nauzubillah. But insyaAllah her prayers and doa's will keep her on track.

So husbands, give your wives some attention and affection. It doesn't take much. Make her feel that she's the most attractive girl to you. Give her a peck in the morning before you leave for work, or just smile at her during dinner. It doesn't take much to melt a woman's heart. Our prophet was a very caring and romantic husband.

Remember if you don't do it, then it also doesn't take much for another guy to melt your wife's heart with just a bit of attention and attentive words. SO START TODAY.. Go lah sms her! Tell her that u've been thinking about her =D

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

To bake a cake..

normal lah down here. trying to squeeze every deadline like squeezing juice out of a lemon (or an orange, or any other squeezable fruit of your liking). on top of that, adding new projects and deadlines lagi. Ceh.. never use the blain.. where can!? If you need 45 minutes to bake a cake, then you have to take at least 45 minutes to bake it to perfection lah! if you do it in a shorter time, terbantutlah cake. Then, if you want the cake to be nicely decorated lagi.. then u need to give more time for creativity lah kan? sigh.. manusia, manusia...

All the money used to send them to project management courses.. goes down the drain. Langsung tak berkesan. Actually ah.. it all boils down to plain empathy - the goodness of a heart - back to spirituality and Islam. Surely, wanting for your bros (and sis') what you'd want for yourself - one of the many good teachings in Islam - would help solve a LOT of issues. E.g. unreasonable requests and deadlines.

Another hadith states - When a Muslim does a job, do it with kesungguhan. These are some of the true qualities that a good Muslim should possess and therefore make us an exemplary worker. Akhirat dapat, dunia pun tak lepas.

So.. still carrying on from what I'm learning in Islam, this is all a challenge.. to test my patience. InsyaAllah.. I shall perservere, with Allah's help.

Oklah gasak korang lah.. I do what I can, dilligently, to the best of my ability.

Hello World

I see without any posting, you'd get a 'Blog not found' and you may think that this person does not exist. So here is this first post to confirm that this person exists, and at this moment, have nothing inconsequential (= unimportant), to say.

So, until I have something intelligent to say.. that would bring manfa'at to you all, and not just waste your time and make you go ' ye eleh..', you all go have a good life.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Want to donate?

Before you spend that next $10 dollar or more, on that so-cute-stuff, that you'd probably buy, admire, then leave it to collect dust in one corner of your desk or room, think again. Instead, why don't you just donate that money to a good cause. An Investment for Yaumil Akhirah.

DON'T feel overwhelmed by the many organisations requiring your support.. you can always take turns each month.

Among those requiring your support:

~ Rebuilding Muhajirin Mosque (Braddell Road - beside MUIS)
$10 - 1900 112 6010
$50 - 1900 112 6050

~ Rebuilding Madrasah Al Irsyad Al Islamiah

~ PERGAS - Building Fund
$10 - 1900 913 1310
$50 - 1900 913 1350

~ General donation and Rebuilding of Darul Ihsan Orphanage


Disclaimer : The information is correct at the point that I put this up (last updated 12th May 2006). Please feel free to update me of any misinformation, outdated info or new organisations that we can add to this list.