Madame Blossom's Book of Poems

Saturday, February 27, 2010

where I'm from

Yesterday, was the company department CNY dinner, where some of us don't know each other, because some are new and we are situated all over Singapore, so we only meet during company events. In our department, we have people from all over, namely, India, Japan, Indonesia, Philippines, Thailand, Singapore (of course), etc..

So, there's this one 'new' guy, a Singaporean, seated at the same table as ours. And he asked me where I'm from. I asked him to guess. He said, 'somewhere in the Middle East'.

Must be my black eye liner.

Friday, February 26, 2010

what achievements?

Do you realise, how old I am already? I'm going to be 41 this year. FORTY-ONE.

The other day, someone ask me to write a profile about myself, and state my achievements. I have nothing.

No outstanding achievements. Not in current life, not when I was in school... ok lah.. at work I think I did progress well, masyaAllah, alhamdulillah - but there's nothing concrete. Nak cakap achieved to panjat Bukit Tabor before I hit 40 pun, it's like nothing kan. It's not even Mount Kinabalu., no thanks - I don't think I want to do that now.

Sad huh?

But to be fair to myself, Ok lah.. I did achieve some in increasing my knowledge in my own religion, over the last 5-6 years. I feel and I think about the wonders of His Creations, much more, in the last 5-6 years, than before. Alhamdulillah, may Allah guide us. But this is again, not the kind of 'achievements' you put in profiles.

But funny right, how these personal achievements don't count as relevant achievements that one would put in profiles. But it means a lot to me. I think it has made me a more thoughtful person - or at least I try my best to be - in everything I do or say.

Right. But I'm not going to talk about what I hope to do and plan to do... because I would hate it, if I have said it, but nothing much happens. So, I'm just going to pray, that if my plans and intentions, would contribute positively to me or my family or the ummah, then, God, let me succeed. Ameen.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

What is progress?

How do we measure progress? What is the ultimate aim here? Can, having an internet connection, be defined as progress on it's own?

Or is progress finally about living in contentment, peacefulness, or knowing that you've made somebody else's life better? And by 'making somebody else's life better, I don't mean providing more money to be spent on useless things like TV or get a McDonalds meal.

One's life is only better, when one don't feel depressed about their own life. I do believe God-consciousness, peacefulness, and the knowledge of our aim in life - is how we can progress in life.

Our concept of progress have been so contaminated with the greedy ideas coming from the west. It's time to stop and reflect. Take the good and throw the vice.

Sleepless in Singapore

I should not have drank that coffee just now.

It may have triggered this RLS I'm having now. What's RLS? that's 'restless leg syndrome.' no, I'm not joking. It's a real medical term. And it's a cause for my insomnia tonight.

And then I hv to be up , and stay up fm 630 onwards. How now, cow?

Friday, February 12, 2010

why are we here, again?

Life on earth, is basically about hurt, dissappointment, pain, frustrations. About how we can face them all with patience and perseverence. To expect no problem at all, is unrealistic.

A constantly blissful life, is something that only exists in Heaven.

How many times we have to remind ourselves about this.. but still we people do complain, once in while about 'why' such and such a thing happens to us. But still I think we need to quickly remind ourselves again, about the purpose of our life on earth.

I think, if we try to think about our Final destination, and the purpose of life - we would be able to handle most life challenges, a little bit better. InsyaAllah.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

mid life crisis

I have no problem being old. It's being 40 that's the issue.

Is this what they call the mid life crisis? My recurring self-pressure, is to 'act my age'. Sometimes, after just being myself, I wonder what others think. Sometimes I feel like I should go into recluse - shut up and grow old.

Or maybe I'm just thinking too much.

Maybe I should just continue to be myself and watch my moral values.

Another issue I have with myself is always trying to do EVERYTHING, as perfectly as possible. And get frustrated when I (obviously) can't.

Thanks for analysing yourself, madame.

Now, go live.

Sunday, February 07, 2010

A wrong turn.

MasyaAllah. How we sometimes take the wrong turn, or go about aimlessly, missing our intended route.

How the wrong turn, can sometimes lead you deeper into an unknown place, if you don't realize soon enough. You'd have to learn and take the long route back out.

But sometimes, the wrong turn lets you see and understand things, you didnt know before. Maybe there was a hikmah. And as long as there is fuel and energy, we still have time, to get back on track.

And to always stay or get back on track - is what I hope to do. Ameen. InsyaAllah.

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