Madame Blossom's Book of Poems

Thursday, April 30, 2009

jane austen book club

Last night, hubby watched TV in the room, which means that I'm 'forced' to watch also. Normally, I'm just too lazy to turn it on - which is good for me. Cause, when I start watching TV, and there happens to be a good (entertaining) show on (like Monk), I'll end up glued to it, even after the program.

Anyway, we were watching American Idol & Get Shorty (hubby was switching channels - he's good at that, I just leave him be). As I was telling him, it's very obvious who the American Idol will be. Of course, Adam Lambert, insyaAllah.. and the runner up - either Gokey or that lady. But based on my suspected male/female ratio of voters, for which there will most probably be more females, cause males usually watch sports or, even if they watch this show, only half of them will bother to vote - yes, based on those suspicions, I think Gokey will be runner up.

But the main purpose of this entry is actually, to state how I've watched and like the movie jane austen book club, which happens to be after the movie Get Shorty, on HBO. Since I have not watched that movie, and it was on, I stayed up to watch. (see!)

I cried. Why did I cry? Oh yes.. I always cry at scenes when the woman who is strong emotionally, or containing her emotions for quite a while, breaks down at some point, or they falter sometimes - yeap I always cry at those parts. Like for all the 3 times I watched Sense and Sensibility, I'd cry buckets when Emma burst out crying towards the end.

I guess it's because I really look up to, and aim to be an emotionally strong woman... and I do realise, at some point, those emotions may struggle to be released, in one way or another - we are after all, human, and a woman at that.

The two woman characters that affected me most in the jane austen book club movie, were the single blond friend who was trying to get a guy for her just-divorced girlfriend, and the pretty lady teacher who was emotionally ignored by her husband (not intentionally) while being seduced by her cute student. No, I don't remember ANY of their names.. of except Grigg - because that was being mentioned so many times and even spelled out. Yeap, Grigg is the widget, used to distract the divorcee from bellowing over her ex-husband.

But what I DON'T LIKE about this movie is that, someone in the production group, is obviously promoting gay relationship - and trying to make it look oh-so-normal and acceptable. It is still NOT normal, and it's NOT acceptable, no matter how much they try to make it sound like it's some kind of natural human condition. It's not. It is a serious social and humanity issue, it is a psychological problem that needs to be tackled. They need to be saved. :-/

It's so important to be conscious and aware of what some people in the media is subtly trying to plant into our subconscious mind. There is a new kind of jihad, that the morally-sound people needs to really get into. It's the media.

*ponders........ *

Well.. It's a friday kind of Thursday today, and I'm on half day leave. :D Yeah.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

when the husband has an affair

what do you do when you find out your husband is having an affair?

The wife cries her eyes out. Ok fine. Now she needs get a grip, get out of the house for some fresh air. Meet a friend.. a TRUSTED friend - to thrash it all out. She must talk to someone - she shouldn't try to gulp them all alone. She'll go crazy at home. In these instances, a good girlfriend's support can do wonders to the self-esteem.

Hopefully, she can cool down after that. Cause I believe, the next best thing to do, is to remain calm and cool in front of the husband. Don't act like a crazy, dependent and clingy woman - it'll drive him further away. Then, we lay the following options, and it's backup plans.

1. Maybe you can talk to the other woman, to find out, what the husband, has been promising her. Try not to argue with the woman. It'll be best if you can maintain your cool. In any case, most of the time, women are the victim - emotionally and physically. If she starts demanding this and that - you can stop talking to her. There's no point doing so, because basically, it all depends on the husband. Inform the husband that you have spoken to the other women. I think it's wise to be open and honest with the husband and the woman, if you have been talking - you don't want to look like a backstabber or instigator.

2. Of course, then you try asking the husband, if he can stop seeing the woman.
If he says yes, don't be too happy yet. A guy will say anything in front of you just to put the matters at rest, but still see the woman behind our back. You have to be prepared to find out again later, that he is STILL seeing that woman. But if he really stops - then alhamdulillah, good for you.

3. If he is still seeing that woman, or refuse to leave the woman - you'll have to give him an option to marry her (rather than continuing with maksiat). But of course, you will ask him to consider rationally - think about finances and time, and the children and the responsibilities AND the consequences in the Hereafter if he cannot comply. Let him think about it. If the woman is still calling you, you can tell her what you have told the husband and he is deciding. If after this, the husband is still just keeping her like that - she'll know she's being played out by your husband, because you have already given the green light.

4. I don't think it's wise at this point, to ask for a divorce. Especially so, if you're not working. Think rationally.. you still need the husband to support you and your children and have a house to stay in. Keep him for that, while continuing with your wifely duties. Treat him like a part time boyfriend if you wish. If it turns out that he is doing fine as a husband.. insyaAllah, you can still be happy with him. In the meantime, stop being dependent on him - find a job to fill up your time and have more friends.

5. If it turns out that he does not know how to be a fair husband, AND you are already emotionally and financially dependent, you may then seek a divorce - if the terrible husband is only making you a terrible wife - that may be an option. You don't want to end up in Hell.

6. Oh yes, if you're not already doing so, you should seriously be conscious about how you look in general (public and home). ESPECIALLY in front of your husband. It is NOT TRUE that once you're married, you can look haggard to him - you should always try to look your best in front of him - like how you would when you were dating him - which is maksiat.. but now, making up and dressing up or looking good for his sake, is actually a good deed. So put aside any negative or inferior feelings you have about yourself and be confident.

7. Most importantly, we need to remember that everything that is happening to us, on earth is fated. If it is fated that he'll marry the other woman, nothing you can do, will stop that. If it is fated that it won't happen, then, nothing that the other woman do is going to ensure that. So, keep your cool. Plus.. this is a test from Allah SWT. Our whole life is a test.. and what's most important is how we do for this test. Patience and perseverance are the two of the ingredients required to pass the test.

All of the above sounds quite theoretical, I know - and I can understand, it's a hard pill to swallow. I would like to think that I will be able to do all those things mentioned above, if I ever find myself in such a situation. (Naudzubillah). Seriously, in life, we have to be prepared for any kind of test.. and still remember, that Allah SWT will not burden a soul, more than they can carry.

Yeah.. so, power, patience and perseverance to the women! Ameen.
May Allah SWT guide us all.

Friday, April 24, 2009

to be long or not to be long

to be long or not to be long
that is the question, do I need to prolong?
why can't we just keep it short and sweet,
when that is all there is to it?
~ madame blossom ~

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

no time to not plan

I think I remember saying that if I have my own car, I can stop wherever I see a nice scene, to snap some pictures. As far as I remember, that has never actually happened. Because I don't have the luxury of having an extra 1-2 hours, for an impromptu stopover to just enjoy a scene. It has to be planned.

Everything has to be planned. Like when I'm on my way home, I've already planned mentally to reach home by 6pm - I do not like to make any detour, even to buy my own stuff, if it was not mentally planned before hand. Ooh.. or maybe it's just me. I sometimes get upset when things don't go according to plan and on time planned. Does that make me a control freak? I don't think I AM.. cause if the day permits.. I would prefer not to make any plans - like how it was on Monday in KL. hmm.. but because there were no plans - we ended up sleeping the monday morning away. :-\ No good. But on almost every other time and day, there is a need to plan. So much so that if we DO do something impromptu, it would be a joy in itself, albeit a small one.
I remember feeling so very excited for Raudha when she told me, how one Sunday morning, with the children still in their pyjamas, they went to get petrol from JB, and Id (the husband) made an impromptu suggestion to drive up to Melaka. And they DID! and bought clothes there and bathed their children there. That was nice.

I want to wake up one morning and just decide to drive up to Melaka too - I'd head straight to the padi fields in Serkam. :D One day..

Snapping back to reality, most of the time, I don't have that much time, to not plan.

But the thing is, planning also brings joy and accomplishment. I planned and I did go climb that bukit... and I'm still thankful to Allah for that. :) Subhanallah. I do not want to sound like I'm ungrateful for what I've been able to do. I am.

It was just a long-winded thought.

So, I'll just be thankful for now.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

A city woman's adventure to Bukit Tabur

My dearest husband sent Aida and me to Harbour Front, to take the bus to KL last Sat at 215pm. Hadi, Hanaa and Nadhrah followed to send me off. Eema said goodbye from home. I kissed them all, and we went to our bus. The bus moved off at 230pm, right on schedule. It was an uneventful ride. We watched Incredible Hulk and 4/5 of the Kite Runner movie in the bus.

We reached KL about 720pm, and checked into Corus Hotel, which was right where the bus stopped. The room had 2 super single beds, and I love the corporate design of their bedroom slippers and their packagings. It was swirly black and white. Then we went to grab a bite at KLCC - which was a walking distance - and got some bread for next morning. That night, I confirmed with Anis again, about where we should meet. Because the day before, she said, meet at 'Deen's corner'. Yup, as if I go there every month and know Deen. I have never in my life been to Taman Melawati (I think). She said, we'll see it when we reach Taman Melawati.

The next morning, right after Subuh we left the hotel. It was still dark. It's the first time ever for me to go out before 6am in KL. fact I don't remember the last time I go out before 6am even in Singapore. Maybe I should do it. Because sunrise and sunsets are beautiful anywhere on earth.

Right, so we stopped a cab on the road in front of the hotel. We got a pakcik driver, who didn't sound so sure about where Taman Melawati is. He asked us for RM20. He said it's quite far. Our local friends told us it's near.. only 20mins. Maybe it's just the difference in their perception of near and far. Like how I read in 'Three Cups of Tea' - the person in Pakistan, near Askole was telling the writer how 'near' his place is. "It's only three or seven hours drive". Yeah..three OR SEVEN hours.

Alhamdulillah, about 25 mins later, we actually found Deen's Corner, which was actually called 'Deen's Nasi Kandar Restaurant'. It was at a corner. When we arrived, Anis was there standing near her car, talking to a man on a motorcycle, asking for directions to Empangan Ulu Klang. If Anis was not there.. how da dey?. The kind young man on the motorcycle, asked Anis to follow behind him. But we had to wait for Anis' guy friend (phew, at least a guy in our group). When he arrived quite shortly, we all got into Anis' friend's car and followed the young man on the bike. Halfway there, Anis claimed that the route is starting to look familiar. Good sign.

Approx. 7 minutes later, we came a to dead end, where the gate to the empangan (which means 'dam' - I learnt a Malay word) was. On one side of the dead end narrow road, was somebody's house. the other side, dense bushes. But there were many cars parked there - so I thought, this has to be the place. I was looking out near the gate, to see where the start of the trail could be. Then Anis told us, yes, this is the place - the other time she went, she started over 'there' and pointed to the dense bushes.

So once the car was parked.. true enough, there was a sort of path just behind the stone among the bushes. And I'm kind of glad and excited that it's nothing like the ready hiking trail in Bt Timah Singapore. this is a more REAL hike. I mean like we were really CLIMBING.. not just walking. Cause the hill is to steep to actually 'walk'. To make it more exciting, it was still kind of dark when we started climbing at 650am. (our original plan was to start climbing at 620am) :p

About 20-25 mins later, we reached the lower peak. And the sight there, was already just so wonderful. My target was just the first peak.. so we stopped there. Anis was also seriously not eager on going any further. Up to that point, the hike is bearable.

We stayed at that first, lower peak for about 30-45 mins, just enjoying the breeze and the view, and having our bread and drink. We were careful not to litter that beautiful place, and kept our trash in our bag, to throw at the hotel. After taking a few hundred shots, we made our way down. The climb down was as demanding as the climb up - but I feel you need to be extra careful climbing down.

At the place we we started/end the hike, at Empangan Ulu Klang, is also the 'TAMAN REKREASI' - where you can surprisingly (for a Singaporean) find a nice clear water river. If not for all the uncleared rubbish near the rubbish bin, the place would have been much much prettier.

I think this is the serious issue with beautiful places in Malaysia.. they are easily tarnished by the litter that people so thoughtlessly throw about, inviting flies and other pests.. I wish most of them would take more pride in keeping their beautiful country clean.

We learnt from fellow hikers we met along the way, that there are actually 6 peaks in all, at Bukit Tabur. It is said to be considered the longest crystal quartz outcrop in the world. (source

It's then no wonder that I've read varying accounts of the Bt Tabur hike on various blogs. Some said it's easy, a 6 yr old can do it. (although I'm not sure if a playful 6 yr old should do it - because you NEED to keep on track and not fool around. Just 1 meter away, it could be a steep ravine). Others say it's DIFFICULT. Then, there are others who say you can finish the hike in 1-2 hrs, others say up to 4 hours.

And then, there's also the news about 2 seasoned climbers who fell off the ravine at Bt Tabur and died, just few weeks ago. So all of these depends on how many peaks you want to attempt, and from which end you start, and if you go off the normal, but not so obvious trail. (Of course I don't even know how the trails look like, towards the other 5 peaks).

For all the effort and the sweat for climbing to that lower peak, you'll be rewarded with this beautiful views. Oh, and I really have to thank Anis for bringing us there. love her much.

After we got down, we had our breakfast at Kak Jee's stall (I'm not sure exactly where), where we had nice cute nasi lemak,

and saw this handsome cat.

Then, I also have to thank MHB for graciously having us at her beautiful home, to taste her delicious lunch and chocolate desert. And Annie for her company :) Aida had two servings of MHB's chocolate cake because she couldn't help it, then felt so full that she swore she will not have another choc cake for the rest of her life or week.

Next day, she had another piece that MHB packed for us. :D

That night, we also rewarded ourselves with lean meat (daging salai) and more meat in the form of steak.

My.. what a FULLfilling trip.

Alhamdulillah. :)

p.s. more bukit tabur pics >> here. :)

Friday, April 17, 2009

a plan to reach higher

I've told my friends.. I want to climb Bt Tabor in Melawati Malaysia, before I turn 40. One of them, Aida, married with children like me too, has offered to go with me. :) And after one or two plans yang tak menjadi, we are finally going tomorrow! I mean tomorrow go KL, then Sunday morning we climb.

The main purpose of the climb, is to watch the sunrise and snap some pictures. Second purpose to for me to accomplish a slightly higher place, by foot.

Coincidentally, I started on a book called Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin - on humanitarian efforts. Greg Mortenson is a REAL mountain climber. And his descriptions about the difficulties in climbing, and how all that is rewarded by a beautiful sight when you reach a high place - is really making me more excited. It's like motivating me. :D

Okay... granted, Bukit Tabor is not even Gunung Ledang. In fact, Anis said, we can take a 'leisurely stroll' if we're early. I wonder how easy it is. But anyhow, this is my own target for accomplishment, my own small goal.

Oh yes, I was saying about how I haven't charged my camera batteries? Yes, I've remembered to charge it last 2 days. For both cameras, all batteries and the spare one also. As I was telling Nurleen, imagine bringing my camera and tripod and what-not, and reaching the top only to find that all camera batteries are flat! Then I'd have to plan and make another trip to KL again. Hmm.. which doesn't sound so bad. :)

I pray and hope it doesn't rain on Sunday morning (Ameen), cause my husband asked me to promise not to climb if it rains. I promised him I won't do anything stupid and dangerous - I want to go back and see my children also. insyaAllah. Ameen.

So, yes.. I need to pack later, but I have to go for a farewell dinner first. I'll pack tomorrow morning.

MasyaAllah. :)

great day at the office is when...


- you come in, and there's no one around;

- you check your task list and there's nothing you can do (it's all pending other people who's not working today);

- you brought a good book to read;

- you can turn on music without earphones.


Thursday, April 16, 2009

praying for a safe journey

everytime before a journey, especially without my family, I'll have this thought like, what if I won't return home, alive?

Then the funny thing is, I'll be quite conscious of what I say to loved ones. I'm afraid to tell them things I seldom tell them.. or saying 'take care' or like suddenly call my mum, or tell my friends we shall meet when I return, insyaAllah. Cause that would remind me, you know about how you read in newspapers about somebody's death and how they'd say 'allahyarham/ah' said this and that before he/she left. I don't want to imagine that coming out in the papers.

But I know, whatever is going to happen is decreed. (Just as mentioned in the poem below :) ) So I'm just going to pray for my safe journey, and hope you do too.

May Allah forgive us all our sins, and give us long life in iman, health and wealth, goodness in this world and in the HereAfter, and make our life meaningful and not wasteful. Ameen.

why ponder the future

I like this. :)

Why ponder thus the future to foresee,
and jade thy brain to vain perplexity?
Cast off thy care, leave Allah's plans to him -
He formed them all without consulting thee.

Omar Khayyam. The Rubaiyat.

(extracted from Three Cups of Tea - Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin)

a hope for lesser dramas


I'm getting old. And I have had enough dramas during my younger days.

All I want now, is just to do the things I like to do (with husband's approval), to increase my iman and ibadah and knowledge, to be able to contribute to the community, no matter how small my contribution is, to make a difference in somebody's life, the positive way. And aim to be wiser and more patient when facing any situations, among other things, good I hope.

I know I will not always be able to do it. And I know, that I will not always know what to do, or handle a situation the right way. But insyaAllah, I hope to never give up, and always seek Allah's help and guidance. For us all.


..and I just realised.. sometimes I take things too literally. I'm not good at guessing.. I bad at that. Plus I don't want to guess wrongly, which would embarass me. So if you guys want to talk to me.. tell it to me straight to the point. So it doesn't become a misintepreted story. And I believe - that is the problem with most status updates (yes, mine included) - sometimes it's just too vague, and opened for misinterpretation - so much so, that it's better left unsaid. I'll try to remember that.

And yes, I do miss my girls. Cause they were asleep when I got home last night, after I went out to see Hadi. :( And I'll miss them again tomorrow night.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

a useful gift to give

what good is a PSP to a poor boy in a village, when he can't find a proper place to recharge his toy? Instead, what the boy would appreciate more, is.. not too much food neither very expensive ones, but just a little more that what they can afford then. Or a change of school clothes and some school books and that is more blissful for them.

And a gift bring more happiness to those who can't afford most things, than to those who already have most of what they want.

Then, what do you give a rich man? Nothing expensive and branded - you'll be wasting your money cause they'll have their own specific taste. I think a good book is good - or just something he can't get in his rich man's world - which may be cheap.

I know of well-off people, who get loads of presents for their kid's birthday, most are unopened for years, and then sometimes 're-cycled' and given to someone else. I'm sure they keep a tag lah, of who gave them that, so that they don't end up giving it back to the same person. But you see.. what is the point of all these? It's not appreciated, not on purpose though - it's not even the receiver's fault, actually. They just don't need those stuff, not to mention the clutter.

And what I surely would like to avoid, is to give/receive a gift, that was bought without much thought. That is, bought just for the sake of giving SOMETHING. Like I have MANY photo frames still unopened in the drawer.

If we don't have the time to actually think of something USEFUL to get, I think we should just give money. Then, they can get what they want. :) Like the other day, when Hadi got money for his birthday - he collected them all, and now he can get an mp3 player for himself. great.

I believe the best material gift that one can give a person, is something that we know she wants, but has always been reluctant to get, because they don't want to spend on such 'luxury'. Or it is something that they want, but it's difficult to get. Then suddenly, he/she gets it as a gift. 10 secs bliss. Ok.. maybe an hour of bliss. THAT, I think, would be the best material gift.

within my neurons

or someday, cat steven cross the road also.

You haven't seen that skit? Go watch, find -aha teaching english, at youtube.

What I was going to say is... sometimes, I really wish I can talk about all my issues to someone.

But you can't tell it all to someone, because someone may know the subject someone that some of the 'all' is related to, and you wouldn't want someone to know THAT about the subject someone.

Or, sometimes you want to tell a closer someone, but the closer someone is too close to you to understand, and may react defensively, for my own good no doubt, but an overeaction I would think. And I want to avoid that. Like how a child will not tell the parent EVERYTHING that has happened to them. I'm aware of that - I went through that.

So I keep it to myself, and I let it out like this.. but for what?
To remind me that there is something going on in my life? It makes me more interesting?

Sometimes we are.. I am.. quite pathetic like that.

this blog, was suppose to reveal my inner thoughts, what is within my neurons.
I wanted to pen down, what peculiar stuff I was thinking about. I want to read them back months or years later.
And smile at my own thoughts.

Can I start doing that again?

Maybe I just did.

Monday, April 13, 2009

uninvited guest at our not so new house

I didn't tell you yet right? - that we had an uninvited guest early last week.

It was a weekday, and we were all not home, except for Rus.

Rus was coming out from the kitchen, when she noticed something moving at our balcony. She quickly realised it was a monkey. It was happily sitting there, facing the pool, enjoying the breeze and eating our inti-less kuih pau.

Rus scolded him in Javanese with local Malay style, since the monkey is afterall, a Singaporean. Translated as "Hey! waaah.. you happily eat my pau?!". The monkey was surprised by her surprised action, and quickly went away, with another pau that was already in it's other hand.

The thing is, the plate and serviette cover looked like it was untouched. Only when you lift the serviette, you'll notice the 2 paus missing. :)

When my husband told me about the incident, I reacted with excitement. He was not so happy that I was happy about it. If I was home at that time.. I would surely have run for my camera and the picture, if good, would probably be on this blog already. :D

But no lah, I won't consider inviting the monkeys over. We definitely do not want that to become a habit.

I looked up and saw

I looked up and saw
On the biggest canvas ever
Yet another work of beautiful art
by the Creator.


- Posted using

Sunday, April 12, 2009


glimpses of my life, I update you
through blogger, twitter and facebook.


Saturday, April 11, 2009


“O Allah! I seek refuge with You from knowledge that does not benefit, and from a heart that is not subdued and humble, and from a supplication that is not heard, and from a self that is not satisfied.”


Friday, April 10, 2009

burn (haiku)

Today I have learnt
What my trial gestures earned
So I'll let this burn


~madame blossom~

Sunday, April 05, 2009

icarus dream suite / fanfare

No real updates.. i have a few poems, but I probably need a break from my poems.

Today I'm happy, because I found the song I've been thinking about now and then, but didn't really have time to find. I first heard it, more than 15 years ago. I knew the guitarist was Yngwie Malmsteen, but I didn't know the title of that song, that mysterious song.

I've found it now.. the first song, I really fell in love with. Icarus Dream Suite Op. 4. They also come in 'fanfare'

I enjoy this A LOT.