Madame Blossom's Book of Poems

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

FB friend confirmation methodology

Sometimes kan, after I confirm a friend request on facebook from a person who I don't know, or who is a friend of a friend, I wonder if they had intentionally, knowingly, purposely added me as friend, or if they had accidentally clicked on the 'add as friend'. Here is how I normally react to FB friend requests:

If it's someone I know, I know.. then I'll add without hesitation.

But when it's someone whom I have not met or known.. then my acceptance of a friend requests depends much on the mood of the moment and the relation of the person, i.e. if the person is a friend of a friend.

A friend of a friend, may be accepted more easily, then a stranger.

A friend of a friend maybe confirmed more easily, but it may not be immediate. It may be after due procrastination.

Whereas, for a stranger - it REALLY depends on the mood AND due procrastination.

If the mood is like 'I only want to be alone and anonymous'.... I may ignore the request.
If the mood is like 'ok.. maybe I can share some of my more meaningful updates with them' , then I just confirm.

But... if M Nasir or Jason Mraz add me, I'll add without any hesitation whatsoever.

However, I hope people who add me, are aware, that I can sometimes be quite nonsensical. It may even lead them to wonder if I have a split personality. For one period.. I may be all sober and thoughtful and weigh my words carefully, and another period or time.. I'll be updating about what I had for lunch - of which such information seriously, does not add value to the person reading it, other than that they know what I ate.

Having said all of that.. :) I think FB has a lot of it's advantageous. I'm now connected to a whole lot of interesting people. Families and friends whom I have not met for a long long time.. or those whom I meet only once a year.. people who have insightful thoughts.. people who are just funny. :) Yeah.

Note 1. 'Yeah' is a good way to stop an entry.. when you have no time to think of a closing paragraph or when you really can't think of any closing paragraph. Yeah.

Note 2. This entry is unplugged. Nanti when I have the time, I'll read through and edit.. in the meantime.. read unplugged.

Friday, September 25, 2009

How long is 'Id-ul-Fitr (Hari Raya Puasa)?

Narrated Aisha:
Abu Bakr came to my house while two small Ansari girls were singing beside me the stories of the Ansar concerning the Day of Buath. And they were not singers. Abu Bakr said protestingly, "Musical instruments of Satan in the house of Allah's Apostle !" It happened on the 'Id day and Allah's Apostle said, "O Abu Bakr! There is an 'Id for every nation and this is our 'Id."

Sahih Bukhari, Volume 2, Book 15, Number 72

Selamat Hari Raya and maaf zahir batin. :):)

How long is Hari Raya Puasa?, my youngest daughter Nadhrah asked.

In actual fact, Hari Raya Puasa or 'Id-ul Fitr is only ONE day - the day right after the last day of fasting. It is a day to celebrate the achievements of Ramadhan. To go out in the morning to offer the Eid prayer, to offer alms...

Narrated Ibn Abbas:

The Prophet offered a two Rakat prayer on the Day of Id ul Fitr and he did not pray before or after it. Then he went towards women along with Bilal and ordered them to pay alms and so they started giving their earrings and necklaces (in charity).

Sahih Bukhari, Volume 2, Book 15, Number 81

...and to eat (in moderation) after a whole month of fasting. As such it's prohibited to fast on Hari Raya - Eid.

Narrated Anas bin Malik,:

Allah's Apostle never proceeded (for the prayer) on the Day of 'Id-ul-Fitr unless he had eaten some dates. Anas also narrated: The Prophet used to eat odd number of dates.

Sahih Bukhari, Volume 2, Book 15, Number 73


Narrated Abu 'Ubaid:

(the slave of Ibn Azhar) I witnessed the 'Id with 'Umar bin Al-Kattab who said, Allah's Apostle has forbidden people to fast on the day on which you break fasting (the fasts of Ramadan) and the day on which you eat the meat of your sacrifices (the first day of 'Id ul Fitr and 'Id ul-Adha).

Sahih Bukhari, Volume 3, Book 31, Number 211

HOWEVER, it is a custom of (ONLY) the Singaporean and Malaysian Malays to make use of this month as a month of visiting relatives and friends. It is important for us to KNOW the difference.

Having said that, I personally believe, as long as we do not think that it is some kind of syariah, to celebrate eid a month long - then it's ok for us to continue to use this month as a month of more frequent visiting and catching up, as it really fosters relationships amongst families and friends, which is encouraged in Islam too.

It is also interesting to note that, this does not happen else where in the world (as far as I know). In Indonesia, they start celebrating on the eve of Raya - even start visiting neighbours on eve of Raya, and next day, they go out as a family for picnics etc. In Jeddah I hear, they have fireworks and carnivals, but even that lasts for only 3 days. :p I wonder how it is in other areas.

And I have a feeling that this 'prolonged' celebration is somewhat influenced by the 15 days Chinese New Year celebration (which I have no idea how it's celebrated else where in the world). But I was 'comparing notes' with my Chinese colleague about what we do on Hari raya and Chinese New Year... apart from the reunion dinner (which equates to our big feast on actual day), we do exactly the same thing.. like go to parents/grandma's place.. visit aunts/uncles/cousins.. etc.

Anyway, it's always good to keep in touch.. so have a fun month of open houses, visitings, feastings every weekend, for the next 2-3 weeks. :p

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

She wants to cut her hair, shoulder length. Hmm..

- Posted using


Sometimes I wish so very strongly, that I can take away all the hardships faced by friends and family and so many other people. I wish I have enough money, enough time, enough space - to clear them ALL. :'(

But I guess that would be impossible. And perhaps it should be impossible because, verily, our lives ARE about tests and tribulations - isn't that what Allah SWT told us? And I believe, it's through these tests and tribulations that we grow as a person, that we become stronger or wiser.. that we grow in patience and perseverance, and for some, in our remembrance of Allah SWT.

If everyone were to be constantly happy and they are veiled from other's hardships, it will most probably make us complacent with the life of this world, through the constant entertainment we seek. In that sense, yes, I can feel how Allah truly loves the people whom He has put some tests. And so big is the reward for those who are patient and who perseveres - so many times it's mentioned in the Quran.

But of course, we continue to also make doa, that we will be granted long life in IMAN, in gratitude, in peacefulness and happiness, in enough wealth, in doing good deeds with the wealth we have, and that we don't become among the complacent - insyaAllah Ameen.

So, with so much feelings for all those, who are going through so much hardships in any form at all, I sincerely, strongly doa, that Allah do not tests us, beyond what we can bear and that Allah grants us patience and perseverance - and may we, in the end, be among those who will attain much in the Hereafter. Ameen, ameen ya Rabbal alamin.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Why you so like that ah?

"... We have made some of you as a trial for others; will ye have patience? For God is One who sees All things." Furqan 25:20

MasyaAllah.. I feel like I've been spoken to. As with a few others close to me, I too, was having this feelings like - should I be angry, should I retaliate? Should I fight for my rights? Or should I be patient, and accept it as God's test, and perservere. Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun.

Any material lost.. is only that.. a material lost - and we can lose it so many other ways, which may not bring any good to me. To lose it unfairly, and still have patience - may bring me, God's blessings.

I came across that ayat timely. :) Alhamdulillah.. and I feel it is an answer to many of our FAQ:

% "Apasal ni dekni camn?!" ("Why you so like that ah?")

% "Dia takde kerja lain ke? asik nak menyusahkan orang?" ("This fella got nothing better to do is it? Give problem only!")

% "Manusia macam ni pun ada dalam dunia ni??" ("This kind of person also exist ah?")

% "Kenapa lah dia buat aku macam ni?" ("Why does he do that to me?")

% "Apalah salah aku?" ("What have I done to deserve this?")

% "Why do I have to get this kind of friend/relative/brother/sister/colleague/customer?"


Patience and perserverence will win at the end of the day.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

A husband's influence.

How a husband is, towards the wife and his mother plays an important part in the health of the relationship between his wife and his mother. A husband should respect his mother and have empathy for the wife. The husband should treat the wife, as a team, and the mother as... a mother.

If the husband keeps listening to the mother's request no matter how absurd - the wife will feel left out and may hold a grudge against the mother. If a husband listens to the wife all the time and ignore his mother, then he has hurt his mother and sinned.

A husband must be able to be firm in his decision, to both his mother and his wife - and be fair. Never should a husband raise his voice at his mother, especially in front of his wife - the wife must know and follow the husband in respect for his mother. And the husband should also never argue with the wife, in front of his mother - the mother must always see her son and his wife as a team.

In any case, both husband and wife, should respect both parents, as they would their own.

Difficult? Yes.. who ever said it is easy?

Saturday, September 05, 2009

Road to Reality

Scientists are trying for a long long time, to find out WHAT IS REALITY.

Excerpts from Fabric of the Cosmos:

The overarching lesson that has emerged form scientific inquiry over the last century is that human experience is often a misleading guide to the true nature of reality. Lying just beneath the surface of the everyday IS a world we'd hardly recognize. (pg 5)

By deepening our understanding of the true nature of physical reality, we profoundly reconfigure our sense of ourselves and our experience in the universe.(pg 5)

But we will encounter a series of developments - some intensely strange, some deply satisfying, some experimentally verified, some thoroughly speculative - that will show how close we've come to wrapping our minds around the fabric of the cosmos and touching the true texture of reality. (pg 6)

..and a lot more talk on finding reality. I hope we'll be guided. Ameen.

"This is so, because Allah is the Reality. It is He who gives life to the dead, and it is He who has power over all things." Al Quran - Hajj 22:6

Friday, September 04, 2009

Thursday, September 03, 2009

The advantages of me in heels

I have found, so far, 3 very good reasons, and 1 unimportant reason for me to put on heels WITH straps & buckle, where you actually need to put the pin into the strap hole, then put the balance strap into the buckle - yes that much work.

1) Restricting shopping timing.
Putting on heels is a good deterrent for me, from shopping a whole day (or a long time). Which equals to more money being spent - i.e. if I were to shop all day . I'm sure my legs would be killing me, by the 2nd or 3rd hour. So I would have to stop shopping.

2) Ensure proper walking
With heels, I am more unconsciously conscious of my walk. (you know unconsciously conscious? like.. tak sengaja conscious, but tak perasan sangat). I think I walk more lady-like. Tak macam gangster sangat. I guess that should cover the way I stand also right.. I remember one time (did I tell you before?.. anyway).. I was visiting a friend's aunt at the hospital. I'm in my usual pants and sandals. I salam-ed the aunt. Then she looked at me and said, "awak diri macam gangster eh?" Like WHAT?!?!? True story.

3) Ensure that I sit properly too!
Since this shoe is with the manual strap, I don't take off my shoes at the office. Because if I do, I would need to bend down to unbuckle & unstrap, then to bend down again and buckle and strap when I need to walk away from my desk (and not trip over my own shoe strap). And since I don't take off my shoes, I cannot put one or both legs up on the chair (duduk bersila or sit on my legs macam tahiyat awal)- which I do most of the time at work, even during some meetings - which is not good actually for my image - but my colleagues have gotten used to seeing me sit like that - even my bosses. BUUUUTTT.. so, with this shoes, I'm kind of forced to have my legs down on the floor - because it's not comfortable to sit on my shoes or with my shoes between my legs here and there.. - which means I sit in a more proper way at work.

4) Makes me look tall.
Yes, I'm small and short and heels can make me look taller - although I've never had the urge or desire to make people think I'm taller than I actually am. I'm quite comfortable with my height and size now - as I grow older. I've learned to accept me as I am.

So why do I wear these heels? Oh yes, because it's there. It's a gift from my sisters, and I don't think I should just dump them one corner. As such, I'm making a big an effort to put them on, and suddenly finding all these advantages of having them on. :p

That's the end of the story about my heels.

*Yes, having them on today.