It is easier to fight external forces than internal. External force, you know more or less, there would be an end to the fight. But internal forces (a.k.a. setan) ni.. consistently in us sampai mati.
Today we're successful, tomorrow we may not be. But everything is by Allah's leave, dengan izin Allah. So, important lah sangat, that I keep asking for Allah's help, in this constant jihad.
I sometimes become aware. Macam terasa, how tiring this can be.. because the fight is never ending. Never ending melawan either kemarahan, ke-tak-puas-an, nafsu, keinginan, itu ini setan.
Dulu masa selalu lalai, tak rasa or tak ingat pun benda ni semua... macam 'free-flow' aje. Setan didn't need to work hard.
But now, alhamdulillah kurang lalai, rasanya.. si setan ni pun.. dia dah step up dia punya attack - trying on my weaknesses, taking advantage of it. But alhamdulillah, i'm letting down my ego, and I acknowledge my weaknesses, and the fight goes on, insyaAllah.
Right this very instant, I'm mentally tired.
