Madame Blossom's Book of Poems

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

..............

The last few days,have been quite weird. I'm a bit sad, like i'm in a strange world, like i cannot make things happen. And I was tired, and sick, and Nadhrah and Eema was also sick.
And Monday night, I went to listen to Mawi and Ina give their side of the stories, on radio, while driving in the car. All the time wondering what on earth made them go on national tv, camtu.. And I realise I've been wasting my time too much.

I was on medical leave since FRIDAY! I should have enjoyed myself. Suppose to help out hubby at his office, but I did nothing much either. There was nothing much that I could do anyway. Now, in my own office, I'm missing my hubby pulak.

On top of all of that, I can feel that my IMAN is lower, lower than those days when they were high. I feel a bit distant. Perhaps pasal subuh asik terlambat... pasal badan sakit nak bangun. Dah set alarm tepi bantal pun macam tak boleh bangun. Or maybe it's the setan.. whatever it is, i succumbed to it. Really.. really macam tak larat. I tried reading the Quran regularly.. i guess that helped maintain it from going even lower.

I'm feeling restless and frustrated. Is it because i'm sick,.. or is it PMS? But like Pink said.. PMS takpe... jangan jadi Perpetual menses syndrome sudah..

Whatever it is, I need to buck up. Hopefully tonight's input will help. InsyaAllah ameen. Ya Allah, just don't let me die in this state. Let me die in a state when my iman is high. Ameen.