the weekend without her

My car will only be ready towards the end of the week. In the meantime, my bro who is outstationed for the whole month, has let me use his car. Alhamdulillah.. BUT.. kereta dia, too BIG for me. Do you all know how small I am?

You all think, I boleh bawak kereta ni tak?

Of course, tak boleh. Berapa tonne sey. But drive it, insyaAllah ok.

Corny jokes aside, masa baru2 drive, stress sikit. Too big to handle. I miss driving blossmobile. :( Although I'm still thankful for the truck car.

I had a weird but funny and nice dream yesterday morning.
It was a dream about having a dream. And waking up to wanting to write the dream down, and I woke up and really recorded the dream down.

There were many special appearances in the dream. My whole family, my parents, my sisters, YT, BQ and even my late grandmother. =D There was about the vacation, the banjir, duduk kat rumah kampung, about wanting to take photos.. macam2 story ah.

But I think it's too long to post here. Plus you know how dreams are.. strings of unrelated events, people and places. I don't want to bore and confuse you all.

Among my favourite scenes in that dream was when I was swinging on a ladder, and sliding down the hill head first.

While on the subject of dreams, I'd like to share with you, this hadith that I came across before:

Narrated Abu Sa'id Al-Khudri:
The Prophet said, "If anyone of you sees a dream that he likes, then it is from Allah, and he should thank Allah for it and narrate it to others; but if he sees something else, i.e., a dream that he dislikes, then it is from Satan, and he should seek refuge with Allah from its evil, and he should not mention it to anybody, for it will not harm him."
Sahih Bukhari, Volume 9, Book 87, Number 114

Here are some pics.
Not from the dream, of course - but from my life in the past week or so..





Have a good week ahead.

stress

morning rush was a little bit stressful.
trying to finish my tasks before my half day leave, was stressful.
waiting for somebody was stressful
arguing with somebody was stressful
being late for an appointment was stressful
getting used to driving a giant car was stressful
trying to keep up to my reasonable time was stressful
entertaining or NOT entertaining demands was stressful
the sound of children arguing/whining was stressful
thinking about how incompetent I was, is stressful
I'm all stressed out.

I just want to lock myself in the room, be all ALONE.
Prescription : Cry and sleep.

Should feel better in the morning, insyaAllah.

And it's normal.
For the ladies at least.
RIGHT?

Blossmobile hit by minibus

Ok, i've got a name for the car! err.. but, what a time to announce sey.

Tadi pagi, as usual, I was in a hurry to get to work. So I got into the car, and cuma sempat baca doa keluar rumah (one that most of the time, I remember to read only when i reach the car). Belum sempat lah baca doa naik kenderaan.

As Blossmobile was going down the multi-story carpark, a minibus which was coming up, hit Blossmobile at the right rear door. At the point when I was hit, I felt like I was in a bumper-car. But of course, it's not a bumper car it's MY CAR! :((

Because I was in a hurry AND I forgot to read the doa AND I also didn't really check to see if there were any vehicle coming up on my right - i felt guilty.

The driver of the minibus was an old Chinese man. I looked at his damage.. dia punya left signal light broke and his number plate came off. And water was leaking.
I asked how much. he said maybe about $100. Then i said, nebermind.. u go and access first. So he asked.. want to make a report or just settle here? I told him I'll call him later. So I gave him my number, and took his. I thought I was calm. Rupanya I think I felt a little bit panic (bukan picnic.. paaanic) - because I felt my hand shiver a bit, when I was writing down the numbers.

Luckily I did not pay him on the spot, because, I felt guilty for my own reasons, I didn't use much of my judgement.

Anyway, since I could still close the door and drive to work, I did. I stopped downstairs for a while to call hubby. He asked, 'You hit him?' I said, 'No, he hit me on the rear door'. Then hubby said, ' then dia lah yang salah." Hmm.. ya tak ya eh.. I mean, I didn't see the minibus lah tadi, I only knew when I was hit. But, if I was hit on the REAR door, that means, I da turun ramp tu la kan, then I got hit. Which means, he was the one who didn't see me IN FRONT OF HIM.

*sigh* And hubby also suggested, we make a report and insurance claim. Sent hubby the pics.

He replied:

ASSESSMENT
Bad news : Damage is quite bad, at least 4 days to 1 week in workshop. Should be between $500 to $1000.

Good news : You may have a case. He knocked into your rear, means he should have been aware you are there and should have stopped.

And hubby da tell me what to do, and tell me to go through all this procedure myself - be independent. Sure, darling.

When I smsed close contacts that blossmobile got hit, one of them said to the other, "wah, then penyek lah eh handphone dia?" Woit. blossmobile as in 'batmobile' lah! I can't imagine how my hp can get 'hit' by a minibus sey. =D

My office colleagues pulak, asked me how it happened. Da cerita gitu gini, finally one of my chinese colleague asked, 'So what's your car plate number?"
Wei!! Want to buy 4D ah?

Anyway, took half day leave, to go make an insurance claim report. The ever-available teddie and SB (thank you darlings), accompanied me to the insurance office and the workshop for an assessment. The plan was to do a claim against my own policy, then do a recovery against the other person.

But as I was finally driving home (yes, i still have blossmobile yg kemek ni with me), i felt somekind of guilt still. I think I am not at peace with myself, claiming against the other person. I did play a part in causing that accident, turun kelam kabut camtu. Doesn't matter what other people say, that he's wrong to hit my rear door, but the truth is, I was also in the wrong. And may this be a lesson to me. I think I'll feel better just claiming against my own insurance. yeah.
You know, macam ada satu hadith tu..

According to Wabisah bin Ma'bad (r.a.) who said, " I came to the Messenger of Allah SAW, who said, 'You have come to ask about righteousness?' 'Yes, ' I answered. He said, 'Ask your own heart for a fatwa. Righteouness is when the soul feels peace and the heart feels peace, and sin is what creates restlessness in the soul, and rumbles in the bosom, even though people give their opinion (in your favour) and continue to do so.'
~ narrated according to the two Musnads, that of Ahmad bin Hanbal and that of al-Darimi, with excellent isnads.
- from Imam Nawawi's Collection of 40 Hadith.

Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un.
BUT, Alhamdulillah too, it's not worse than this, and I'm fine, in case anyone of you is concerned about ME. My injury is only my heartache. :|

Well, may we all have a better day today. :)

pendek kata..

Sewaktu saya kecil dulu, saya sering mendengar ungkapan.. 'pendek kata, itu', 'pendek kata, ini..' Sikit2 diorang berbual aje, sometimes they'd say, 'pendek kata..'

I remember wondering who this 'pendek' is. He must be quite well-known, because not only did I hear my mother mentioning him, but I think I've also heard some other people mentioned his name too.

Then one day, i followed mum and auntie to.. i think it was hardware shop. Don't remember what she wanted to get.. but the shopkeeper was a man, short and stout (eh..like the teapot! only he was without the handle and spout.)

Then, i heard my auntie called him.. 'Eh pendek, kasi kurang la..'

then I thought..'Oooooh! So THIS is that famous man.'

***

Itu aje yang saya nak ajar makcik ceritakan. Actually there is no important point to my story.. cuma teringat aje..

Of course now i know better, that it means, 'in short' or 'in summary' or 'untuk dipendekkan cerita yang panjang lebar ni'..

OH ok..I do have something to say about this story. I think it's very bad to label people with degrading names like that. It makes the water face of the person drop, (it humiliates), menjatuhkan maruah orang itu. Is that good?


On home news, still on the topic of 'pendek', we'd like to report that we now have our own Mawi!


WORLD!




Actually, dia kata he wishes for longer hair, like tam spider..
takpe lah eh hadi.. that can wait till after school, insyaallah.

believing in Jesus Christ

Many months back, i received an email, from a christian person, who said something to this effect:

Hi,
I want to tell you, that just because you were born Muslim, it does not mean that you have to remain as you are.

Then he went on to say how Islam teaches violence...like 'wife beating' and how Islam promotes sex.

Then he said : You can go to Heaven is you let Jesus Christ be your saviour and blah blah blah..
(i forgot the whole thing.. but something to that effect la..)

I thought about how I should answer this person.

It's not that I don't believe in what Jesus Christ taught to his people. I do. Muslims do.

But we don't believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God. I don't understand how sometimes they can say that they believe in ONE God, yet they say that God has a son.

I wanted to answer him in the most appropriate way. I thought about what would be the best reply. I was still thinking about it over the next week or two..

Then, as if Allah SWT nak kasi ilham, I came across these exact verses, as I was reading the Quran one day.

: They say "Become Jews or Christians if ye would be guided (To salvation)." Say thou: "Nay! (I would rather) the Religion of Abraham the True, and he joined not gods with God."

: Say ye: "We believe in Allah, and the revelation given to us, and to Abraham, Isma'il, Isaac, Jacob, and the Tribes, and that given to Moses and Jesus, and that given to (all) prophets from their Lord: We make no difference between one and another of them: And we bow to Allah (in Islam)."

: So if they believe as ye believe, they are indeed on the right path; but if they turn back, it is they who are in schism; but Allah will suffice thee as against them, and He is the All-Hearing, the All-Knowing.

: "(Our religion is) the Baptism of Allah. And who can baptize better than Allah. And it is He Whom we worship".

: Say "Will ye dispute with us about Allah, seeing that He is our Lord and your Lord; that we are responsible for our doings and ye for yours; and that We are sincere (in our faith) in Him?"

: "Or do ye say that Abraham, Isma'il Isaac, Jacob and the Tribes were Jews or Christians? Say: Do ye know better than Allah? Ah! who is more unjust than those who conceal the testimony they have from Allah. but Allah is not unmindful of what ye do!"

Al Quran, Al-Baqarah 2:135-140

MasyaAllah, I was in awe. I immediately answered that email.. just as Allah SWT has taught us to.

That person never replied. If that person is sincere, in finding the Truth, then I hope Allah SWT gives him Hidayah.

Yup..so I just want to share that Quran verse la.. that guidance. In case any of you is asked to become a Christian or Jew.

And I'm still in awe, when i think about how the Quran guides us. Memang pun, the Quran is given TO guide us. yeah..

May Allah SWT guide us all and KEEP us in the path of the True.

eternal sunshine of a spotless mind

sunrise in serkam melaka

i like that phrase. It's from that movie, where there's Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet.
I like the movie too.

The title of the movie itself is..interesting.

When I think of it, I get the image of a newborn child.. or a person so innocent and so full of hope.. someone pure. (not related to the movie).

And the 'eternal sunshine' - someone who constantly gives hope and support and happiness...

Yes. I wud want to be that eternal sunshine, of a spotless mind. I try.


Actually eh, dah lama tau, I want to have kaya toast.

But I just couldn't. Ever since I bought one at the canteen near the office. Now, whenever I want to buy roti bakar.. I'm reminded of how I saw the fella made mine, and I'm like having a phobia, buying kaya toast.

What happened was...., I asked this man for roti bakar kan.. kat coffee shop. And then, I thought he'd be using the plastic glove to prepare. But noooooo.. he took the bread with his two bare hands. Da la pakaian dia tu sikit punya selekeh dan kotor, macam orang lepas kerja kontrak pun ada sikit2. He put the bread into the toaster.. 'fine, i thought, the heat would kill some germs.. I can still take that..'

While waiting for the toast, he was standing there, sniffling, and then he wiped his nose with his hands, IN FRONT OF ME! And I saw on one of his fingers, dia ada pakai plaster, that was black from I don't know what. When the toast was done, he took it out with his hands yang da bekas lap hingus and bandaged finger, and held the bread, and put the butter and kaya. put it in the plastic, gave it to me.

On the way back to the office, the image kept going on auto repeat i my mind. Needless to say (but saying it anyway..) I threw the toast away.
Forgive me Allah, i really didn't mean to waste food like that.

Now that I've told you this story, i don't think i want to buy roti bakar just yet.

And dont' ask me, how i jumped from 'eternal sunshine of a spotless mind' to the disgusting roti bakar. I know, it's like from 2 opposite ends.

Have a good day u all..


*random thoughts again..
Yeap, I think a lot, don't I? I think, my mind is at work ALL the time. A rock on the pavement can also set me pondering or thinking

flowers for no occasion

Class started yesterday. Got to see Baby Nur and sis Mariam again :)

More hafalan this semester. Even more than the last.

At this point, I don't know how I will survive this semester. But there is some kind of unexplained confidence and positiveness.. macam...'insyaAllah... somehow can do it lah, and pass'. hmm... sounds like complacency.

I'm actually thankful that Eema now has to get on the bus at 610am every weekday. This means I have to wake up earlier, do my subuh EARLY. It also gives me time to do some studies, or home admin work, or just read, or blog.

Actually I think waking up very early is much better than sleeping super late. This shud actually be the normal Muslim routine la kan, if not for the TV programmes. I don't know.. I feel like, I do more fruitful stuff, waking up early, then sleeping late.

Oh, and I got flowers yesterday!!




No occasion.. really.
How often do you get that??
Thanks teddie. It's REALLY beautiful. I love it. But you've been spending way too much on me. It's not like, that will strengthten our sisterhood.

Sincerity, honesty and love lillah - does. So stop spending and go save up for marriage, will ya? Calon dia, nanti kita bleh discuss. =D

Today, hubby is not around the whole day. The kids and I went out for lunch with teddie, mai, oshin and udin. Went back home and found that we have locked ourselves out, cause I forgot to get the keys.

So, we had to kill time, while waiting for Rus to get home. Remembered the interesting low clouds kat bukit timah on the way back from lunch, just now. So we decided to go there.


yes, it was raining. Pink wud have loved it.



alright. monday again tomorrow.

opocot

I used to be cool, when things or people fall. I'd just go like .. 'oops'.

But a few years back (can't remember the exact fateful day), I was infected with the 'opocot' condition.

I got it from a dear friend/colleague/lunch partner, who says it all the time. But she said it in a more omputeh way actually. It sounded like the name of one of the kereta mewah tu. She would say.. 'oh peugeot'.

Fortunately or unfortunately, I don't blurt out 'oh peugeot'. But I blurt out 'opocot' when things or people fall. And I don't like it. It's sooo uncool kan?!? Especially kalau da pakai stylo milo, with giant sunglasses and all, then cry out 'opocot' in public. Sungguh menjatuhkan imej beta.

I would rather just blurt out 'oops'.

'MasyaAllah' wud be good.

Or better still..stay cool and don't blurt out anything at all.

Does anyone has any suggestion on how to correct this condition?

Come to think of it, I don't think I hear HER say 'oh peugeot' anymore.


p.s. And I'm sorry to all other sisters (or even brothers) who somehow got infected by the opocot condition too. =D MasyaAllah, this thing can actually be contagious eh?!

p.s.2IT'S FRIDAY!!!! yeah!!
oh. but i may have to work tomorrow. :(

the nail clipper

It was late afternoon, in the office. I was so busy ke tahap busy giler.
The phone rang.

M : Hello.
H : Hi. I want to tell you something ah..
M : Yes, dear, what?
H : You know ah, Tok Besar.... do you think, he could be a wali?
M : Wali? you mean jadi my wali, time I nikah? Ya lah.. cause he's my father's uncle..
H : No, not that wali. Like.. you know.. wali. Wali Allah.
M : Ha?! Wali Allah? What are you talking about? What do you mean?
H : I mean, he COULD be you know.
M : ??...Ok now, how did you get to THAT?
H : You know masa kat KL, few days before that.. I've been looking for a nail clipper kan? I've been thinking, where to get that nail clipper. Then, when we met him that night, of the 1001 other things he can choose to give me, he gave me a NAIL CLIPPER.
M : ??.......Oooooh...so he could be a WALI because... he gave you a NAIL CLIPPER? .........
(*burst out laughing*)..... Honey!! how did that make him a WALI?!?! wahpiang!
H : heh.. ya lah..I mean I've been looking for that nail clipper for so long you know, and it's like he knew.. and when he gave it to me.. macam it's a relief.. it's something that I wanted quite badly at that time.
M : hmm... ok... he could be..... because he gave you a nail clipper...
H : yeah.
M : So.. you called me at this time, just to tell me that you think Tok Besar is a wali, because he gave you a nail clipper?
H : Yeah... I was getting the nail clipper from the compartment, then I suddenly thought about it and it's quite.. you know.. amazing ah that he gave me something I needed.
M : oook.
H : Ok. so ..that's all I wanted to tell you. Bye.
M : Bye.

************

But kan...he could be, you know - Tok Besar. After all, dia memang wara' plus the fact that all the time we visited him before, he has never given us 'souvenirs' but that night, out of the blue he gave hubby that. Plus we didn't tell Tok Besar we needed a nail clipper.

Of course, another possible explanation would be, that he saw how LONG the fingernails on the children's fingers are.. and couldn't stand it. So he gave hubby and nail clipper. yeah.

Allahu'alam. anyway, may his Iman be strong and may Allah keep him in good health. And to all of us too. Ameen.

Random pics of the week before, and the week before that.




hadi peter pan

the superheroes..

good morning

how am i today?

Grouchy.

I don't have enough sleep.
I have a migraine because of that.
I have unfinished work at home. - (tks teddie for taking over!!!)
I was late for work (later than usual)
And it's worst when I couldn't find my car key.
Found the car key in the stupidest place - my pencil case. - like WHY ON EARTH DID I KEEP THE CAR KEYS IN THE PENCIL CASE?!?! ya la, semalam pakai baju/skirt with no pocket - but car key in the pencil case?! Don't know what I was thinking.
And I hate the fact that I'm always late for work.
I hate the fact that I'm complacent every morning.

I was driving and looking grouchy all the way to work.
I just need to pour it ALL out..
Not really working..
maybe another hour or so..
Astaghfirullah. Astaghfirullah. Astaghfirullah.

Things I should be thankful for this morning.

I'm still alive.
I still have my house, my family, my friends.
Manage to send eema to her school bus.
Kissed all my kids this morning (hubby pun lah..).
Had a good breakfast.
Found my keys.
I found help for the unfinished work.
I arrived safely at the office.
ALHAMDULILLAH.


Good morning you all.
Sobahul khair.
Have a good day ahead.

blossom, unplugged.

p.s. and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DARLING EEMA.

1st day of school

I just got a pimple on the most obvious part of my face.. the tip of my nose. Great.
But that may help me learn to lower my gaze - Alhamdulillah.
But that's not the topic of discussion here..

Alhamdulillah, these 2 days, have been okay mostly. Eema and Nadh settled in well.
Have a peek..


*distracted* ..Subhanallah! what a GIANT tree!


Eema's buddy, Atiqah


no problemo, going alone




رَّبِّ زِدْنِي عِلْمًا
"O my Lord! advance me in knowledge."