Madame Blossom's Book of Poems

Monday, October 13, 2008

win some and learn some

An incident last week, shocked me and made me so angry and disappointed, and has forced me to make a tough decision.
I was not at peace with myself - and so frustrated that I even have to make that decision.


However, as my mind clears itself of the initial shock and anger - I begin to see the hikmah, the goodness, behind the whole incident.

It WAS a decision that I have avoided taking from the start - giving myself excuses, even though I was not so comfortable with the situation. The truth is now, I am quite relieved to have to make this decision, and that there is a strong reason to support it.

I still don't agree with how the incident was being handled by a family member. I found it too harsh. But then again - I wondered, if the reaction was not that strong - if the incident had not been that grave and affected me that much - would I have pushed myself to come up with this decision? I begin to see that, that in itself, is a hikmah perhaps. MasyaAllah, and Allah knows best. And may Allah SWT forgive us, our sins. Ameen.

I think about some of the doas and incidents that went before. The situations/experiences I've been made to go through; the things that I asked for, which was actually granted; situations that I have been saved from, subtly but surely - make me see how much Allah loves me. I feel it, and I know it. Sometimes I even feel like a pampered child, but one who is still being disciplined, and one who's been made to go through some hardships, in order that I may learn.
HE, my Rabb, has let me win some, and learn some.

3 comments:

Zee SHK said...

Have strength babe. He will not burden us with more than we can bear anyways :P ... u in my prayers always, insyaallah.

madame blossom said...

MasyaAllah.. thank you dear!

That is so very sweet of you. I teringat this saying, supposedly from Imam Al-Ghazali, but I have not been able to verify so far. No one has ever mentioned from which book of his.

Anyhow, I agree with the saying and it goes something like this:

Ukhwah itu bukan terletak pada pertemuan, bukan pada manisnya ucapan di bibir tapi terletak pada ingatan seseorang terhadap saudaranya di dalam doanya.

madame blossom said...

fast forward 3 years later.. now I cannot remember what this incident was about. :P