An incident last week, shocked me and made me so angry and disappointed, and has forced me to make a tough decision.
I was not at peace with myself - and so frustrated that I even have to make that decision.
However, as my mind clears itself of the initial shock and anger - I begin to see the hikmah, the goodness, behind the whole incident.
It WAS a decision that I have avoided taking from the start - giving myself excuses, even though I was not so comfortable with the situation. The truth is now, I am quite relieved to have to make this decision, and that there is a strong reason to support it.
I still don't agree with how the incident was being handled by a family member. I found it too harsh. But then again - I wondered, if the reaction was not that strong - if the incident had not been that grave and affected me that much - would I have pushed myself to come up with this decision? I begin to see that, that in itself, is a hikmah perhaps. MasyaAllah, and Allah knows best. And may Allah SWT forgive us, our sins. Ameen.
I think about some of the doas and incidents that went before. The situations/experiences I've been made to go through; the things that I asked for, which was actually granted; situations that I have been saved from, subtly but surely - make me see how much Allah loves me. I feel it, and I know it. Sometimes I even feel like a pampered child, but one who is still being disciplined, and one who's been made to go through some hardships, in order that I may learn.
HE, my Rabb, has let me win some, and learn some.
3 comments:
Have strength babe. He will not burden us with more than we can bear anyways :P ... u in my prayers always, insyaallah.
MasyaAllah.. thank you dear!
That is so very sweet of you. I teringat this saying, supposedly from Imam Al-Ghazali, but I have not been able to verify so far. No one has ever mentioned from which book of his.
Anyhow, I agree with the saying and it goes something like this:
Ukhwah itu bukan terletak pada pertemuan, bukan pada manisnya ucapan di bibir tapi terletak pada ingatan seseorang terhadap saudaranya di dalam doanya.
fast forward 3 years later.. now I cannot remember what this incident was about. :P
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