layan

I have not understood how u, layan katil, layan tv etc.. but i accidentally came across the term 'layan perasaan' - i said it. then realise.. Oooh.. from there is it? you all upgrade to layan katil, layan tv, layan masak.. etc etc?

i'm in the mood, or i'm in this stage, or this cycle, where i just want to layan perasaan.
i can really understand 'layan perasaan' when i said it. it seems like something literal to me.  it's letting my feelings go.. ikut kan aje. let my imagination fly. get away from current surroundings and situation. analyse my every feeling, every imagination and every thought.  That takes a lot of time.  

kalau can just get away from work anytime, kan best?

but kalau take urgent leave pun hari ni..i don't want to just sit somewhere.  i want to  drive.  But in singapore, in 45min u can reach other end.  how da dey?
ah.. but anyway, sayang leave.  hmm.. sayang leave eh? bukan boleh bawak mati kan.  but i need the leave, to go for more over-causeway breaks, to meet people. but today not in the mood to meet people. not in the mood to be nice and all that. nak muncung muka aje.

I want to go away, but cannot.
chained to reality. binded by common sense and responsibilities.

inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun.

and the life and the test, goes on..