Why some scientist find it hard to believe in a Creator / God (a hypothesis)

I read an science article once, where the scientist said that, although the universe is so perfect, there couldn't be a creator, because that program or computer would have to be unimaginably large. 

Another time, an atheist scientist said, yes, the design is perfect, however if there is a God, why would the God who created the universe and all creations so perfectly, want to pay attention to what a single person like us, do or feel?  He would be too busy with the other larger creations.

As can be seen from both of the above arguments - the root of the disbelief is that, they cannot imagine that there could be a God so great that could and would be able to do ALL of that - even though they acknowledged and found that the creations were superior and perfect. 

Why they find it hard to accept, is probably because they have been brought up with an image of a god.   A visual image - and that image is of a man (whether it's an old man or a young man - or in some other religions - an animal.  Astaghfirullaah.   

That is the big issue now.  If that is the image of God that they have, of course then cannot imagine that that mere man or animal that they perceive - would be able to create an ever expanding universe.   

God have said that he is UNLIKE any of His creations - and these people did not know this.     God is the Greatest.  And when we say greatest - it is beyond your perception and imagination.    We cannot accommodate the knowledge of God.   

Even if all the oceans on the earth is ink, and all the trees on this planet are made into pens - it would never be able to write God's knowledge, even if the supplies are increased seven fold. 

Man only need to realise, the superiority of the Creator through observing and studying His Creations to understand that God is Great.  God has left a book, fit for human and jin to learn and understand - and guide us on how to live and what to believe.  God has given us evidences. 

If you would just be less arrogant, you would realise and accept that you cannot encompass God's knowledge - and as such submit to God, as one of his Creations and we are at the mercy of the Loving God. 

When we accept that, and learn what He wants to teach us, our lives will be more manageable and peaceful, insyaaAllaah. 

So scientists, they have to be sincere and honest about their feelings, and be humble.  It is more logical to believe that there IS a Creator, a perfect Designer, than to believe otherwise.  Relent, and submit. 

Beauty where you are

 I used to find beauty in other people's social media posts and videos.  I used to admire them in movies with good cinematography and animes.   They are all so beautiful masyaaAllaah.

But since last year, I realise, we can make that beauty or feel that beauty where we are.  You only need to start noticing.  Apply your mind's cinematography to the place where you are.  

Look at the sky through the tree's leaves, observe your surroundings at dawn and dusk, notice the blooms on our street and sidewalk plants.  Seek quiet, to observe these. 

You can create one at home also - keep your place tidy and get rid of things you have not touched in the last 3 or 5 years.  Put plants - many plants - real ones if you can, which is preferable, or fake ones.  Greens make a room feel more cosy and calm.  And I love white curtains.  it brings in lots of natural light, but keep out the heat.    

The point is, you can create those beauty you've been admiring in the posts and videos, where you are.  

Subhanallaah.

I am the traveler.

I am the traveler, 

waiting for the moment 

I would be leaving for home. 

Meanwhile, I try to fill up my hours, 

doing things that may benefit others 

or just floating on the river of time. 

When I finally leave for home, 

I hope to leave in the best state. 

Appreciated by those I've met along the way. 

I hope we'll be able to meet again 

In the beautiful garden of my permanent home 

Reminiscing the good old days.

Why would sinners be put in Hell?

I have been questioned before, why God created Hell and why the Merciful God have to punish people?  

My immediate and official answer is, I don't know, Allaah knows best. Just like how, when the Angels asked Allaah, why He wanted to put human on earth when they would cause mischief and shed blood - Allaah said, "I know what you don't know." Even the Angels don't know everything. 

We humans too, and we definitely are not able to see the total big picture, the total workings of humanity, the world and the universe. We only see miniscule snippets. 

There is a question put forth in the Quran, that I happen to have just reached : "Do those who commit evil deeds really think that We will deal with them in the same way as those who believe and do righteous deeds, that they will be alike in their living and their dying? How badly they judge." 45:21 

Let's just ponder over our current world - this earth - this life. Why do governments create punishments for certain offenders? Should we be kind and put the serial rapist who raped your toddler, the tyrant leader who had your father killed and family starved, the sadistic killer who murdered your sister for no reason, who are all not remorseful - should we put them all in a resort in Maldives? 

 Also, we look at our kind neighbour or the old man who is non-Muslim working hard for a living, and we assume, these are the 'kafirs' whom Allaah will put in Hell? How do you even know that and how can you even assume that? Kafir-ness of a person is something known only to Allaah - being a kafir is something internal. 

Allaah knows best the people deserving of Hell - e.g. one trait Allaah mentions is, the person has been convinced and know the truth, but rebel just because he is arrogant.' Allaah knows best. 

So am I saying the non-Muslims who have not heard the convincing message of Islam and are regular people who does good deed, Allaah will put them in Heaven? Well, Allaah is the Most Merciful and Allaah knows best - I don't know. 

 "Then in this case, I may as well not be a Muslim!" Then, you may fall into the category of a people who is convinced of the truth - however is arrogant and rebellious. Be careful. You don't have to proof anything to anyone - it is between you and Allaah alone. 

 Whoever believes and does good, it's only for his own benefit, and whoever does bad deeds it is to his own detriment. Believe, and be good anyway. May Allaah guide us all.

Dreamt that I dreamt of my mother

I've been waiting so long to have a vivid dream of my late mother. You know when we sleep, our souls leave our body, just like the dead. And for those who are destined to still live, the soul returns. 

So during sleep, our souls are wandering, i don't know where. I'd like to think that mine has met my mom's in the other dimension. 

 So before I forget... Just now I took a nap after my subuh, and I dreamt. We were somehow living in a condo on the ground floor. And as I was sliding the window, open, I found that somehow it was not moving evenly. (must be all the architect videos I was watching). And then I checked below, and found that when i moved the window, the wall below it shifted and then one more slide of the window, the wall broke into pieces. 

 I called my husband, and as I was speaking to him, in some how a chaotic situation - everyone was talking - the door bell rang. We opened the door and my mother was there! She had straight should length hair in white dress (yes white dress - probably like the one my daughter has) and she was smiling so widely. So I said 'mak!!' and hugged her tight. 

I looked for my father, but apparently she came alone. I asked her to sit, and I think at that point her hair looked more like when she left us. At that point somehow, I supposedly woke up from my dream and went to tell my husband that I dreamt of my mom so vividly - very vividly it was as if she was really really here. 

 And then Hanaa came out to show me a photo frame she wanted to give me for my birthday and it was a picture of her, my mother and me. And she said, 'you know atuk chose this picture right'? [after this i'm not sure which comes first and the exact sequence, but the following happened in my dream] Then I continued complaining to my husband about the wall, and somehow, he was already at another place and I found myself talking to the wall (wow - this is...). 

Then I noticed that there were many drawings on the wall, and Hadi said it was his, from when he was a boy. He ran in the room to take something to show. 

And then I went back 'downstairs', now it's somehow downstairs' to the balcony by the river -  or was it flooded? - anyway, someone found a body that may still be alive, and the doctor and ambulance was waiting there, then suddenly the boy was on a floating stage of somekind with another boy who is chinese, interviewing him for short while and speak a bit and finished of with some arabic phrases like he heard on the radio at the end of religious lectures.. (was that Isa Ma? haha). 

 And then I recalled the very vivid dream I had about my mom - and then I woke up for real and now I am smiling, happy that I had a dream about my mom - even if it was a dream, in that dream - it was vivid and she looked so well and happy :) 

 May Allaah forgive all of our parents sins and gather all of us in Jannatul Firdaus. Aamiin. Have a great Friday. :) Then I went back 'upstairs' to see the situation about the wall.

Who to blame for discords in family and friends

Have you, yourself, ever said or did something in the spur of the moment, but regret it right after it happened or even as it was happening - however due to the circumstances do not have the chance to explain or apologise or change it. There are times, we say things or react in a way, we wish we had not. We don't want to. But if we didn't mean to do it, why did we do it anyway? It is from our subconscious mind and syaitan. And insyaaAllaah, both we can slowly overcome, if we habitually remind ourselves and be aware of our words and actions - even if we did not manage to stop it - but we should reflect on it, quickly repent (say astaghfirullah) and TRY our best to avoid it in future. And God knows best. This may also happen to others around us. Always give them this benefit of doubt - that they didn't mean to say or act that way too - most of the time. I believe that everyone has the desire to be good and do good - but sometimes syaitan us off course. Syaitan is human's avowed enemy. In surah Yusuf, Yusuf's brothers were plotting to even kill him, but decided instead to throw him in a well - so maybe someone else will take him away. Like that, Yusuf A.S. was separated from his beloved father for so many many years. I cannot imagine the pain of one losing a child and a child losing his parent. Even then, at the end of it all, Yusuf A.S. forgave his brothers and mentioned of the episode as 'when syaitan had sown dissensions between me and my brothers' (12:100). There is a big lesson for us here. Based on the earlier mentioned consideration and this story of Yusuf A.S. - I also try to have this mindset. When someone among my friends or family does or say (or not say) some thing that may (or may not) have hurt my feelings - I try to remember Yusuf's story. Syaitan has sown it - and syaitan is THE enemy - not our family or friends. With that, it becomes easier to be understanding and to overlook those mistakes and forgive sincerely insyaaAllaah. Then make doa, that Allaah will make us strong and sow love and sincerity in our hearts toward our family, friends and people in general. And that Allaah forgive all of our sins and theirs, for Allaah is Most Merciful and Most Forgiving.

Mary A.S. Mother of Jesus Christ A.S.

There are benefits to understanding the Arabic words of the Quran - even if it's just very basic, i.e. like you have an idea of the meanings, although you cannot translate it word for word. It helps with the Quran memorisation. 

 And then, there are benefits to memorising the Quran with that method as you read those words you roughly or fully understand, again and again, and the message gets to your head and your heart. As we memorise the words, our minds wonder and ponder over the words and the message. 

I don't memorise the Quran page by page from the start. First, I memorised those necessary surahs, or surahs that aids in us trying to accomplish the sunnahs of our prophet S.A.W. E.g. every night we are supposed to read Al-Mulk, so I try to memorise the Al-Mulk in order to better achieve reading it every night. 

After basically memorising those surahs that I want to read regularly, I start to try to memorise surahs that attract me. One example would be Al Qamar - "We have certainly made the Quran easy for remembrance, then who will be of one who remembers?" How apt. This verse, repeated a few times in the surah, attracted me. 

Right now, I am trying to memorise surah Maryam, which is the intended topic of this post. As mentioned, trying to memorise by understanding the words, helps. 

 Now I am at the verses which tells us the story of Mary A.S. when she conceived and gave birth to Jesus Christ A.S. Subhanallaah what kind of a big test she must have been through, to be alone while going through something she is unfamiliar with - pregnancy and the pangs of childbirth up to a point where she wished she becomes one forgotten and forgets. 

 Of course, God inspired her and got her through the childbirth. She was nourished with ripe dates from the palm tree she was under, and with a stream underneath her. "So, eat, drink and cool your eyes (be calm and contented - a nice proverb I would like to ponder and think aloud about, perhaps in another post)". 

Then comes her next big test and sacrifice, to declare to the very next person she meets, of her 'promised act' (nazar) to God, to never again speak to another human being. This is so interesting - the fact that she has to make this declaration to the next person she meets - that would be the last time she would ever speak to a human being, and that would also be her alibi of why she never spoke again - of course this follow up story, was never mentioned or told of in the Quran - it's just something I pondered about and found so measured and wise. 

With this promised act, of course, it would be impossible to defend herself effectively when she goes back to her people with a baby in her arms. 

 True enough her people started questioning her, saying her parents were good people and why has she become like this. She could only gesture to the baby in her arms. The people protested and said, 'How can we speak to a baby in a cradle?!' 

 Then another miracle happened - baby Jesus Christ A.S. - a baby - spoke to defend his mother. Can you imagine how miraculous, how so very cute that is?!?! I can't imagine.. a baby, speaking, I'm sure in his baby's voice right? I don't think he'd speak in a man's voice? Allaahu a'lam. 

He declared, "I am the servant of God, and I have been made a prophet. I have been given the scripture and I am blessed wherever I may be, and ordered to do solat (pray) and give zakah (alms) for as long as I live. I am made to be kind to my mother, and not be a wretched tyrant (arrogant, unblest). So peace be upon me on the day I was born, and the day I would die, and the day I would be raised again." 

 What a powerful message coming from a baby. It's something undeniably miraculous, and can only be true. 

God goes on to say, 'That is Jesus, the son of Mary - the Word of Truth, for which they (people then and people until now) doubt.' 

What a beautiful, beautiful story. I am in love with it, I'm so glad I have been able to memorise up to this point for now - and be able to absorb the beautiful story of Mary A.S. and Jesus Christ A.S. 

 That's all I wanted to share and get off of my exhilarated heart and mind from this verses. :) May Allaah let me keep this verses and the verses I have so far memorised, secure in my heart and mind. Aamiiin. 

 I hope all Christians will come to learn of this portion of the beautiful story of Mary A.S. and Jesus Christ A.S. that is not explained in the Bible and find it so very meaningful. May it also be a source of guidance. Aamiin. 

 Have a blessed life all. #quran #muslimliving #muslimlife #jesuschrist #jesussonofmary #quranbookforchristiansandjews #dohashtagsworkonblogger ? #noharmtrying

Of good words and sounds

I prefer songs without words or of words I don't understand. I just want to enjoy God's wondrous creation of a voice or a sound that can produce a reaction to move the heart. There are some songs with words I didn't understand that I have enjoyed, but as soon as I understood what they say, I lose interest, or sometimes I'm even irked. If it is a song, for which I understand the lyrics, then the lyrics should be meaningful. It should either make me ponder about life and struggles, or inspire me to be better, or generate empathy or just a good advice.

At my age, of course human love songs, don't mean much, after knowing what I know now. No, you shouldn't die for love, and love is not all you need.

I am also more sensitive now to what I let into my head. Sometimes I am unable to control, or forget, but when I do remember, I don't want to let empty or imbecile words and ideas invade my mind. We have to be more conscious, we have to keep our minds as clean as possible. Those times when I am unable to control or I forget, I wish I can scrub my brains clean of worthless words or ideas that can endanger the little intellect that God has blessed us with.

But there is a way to 'clean' them. That is to read or to listen to good words or goods sounds a lot more than the little time that we have let those garbage enter. InsyaaAllaah, this can help.

Listening to instrumentals lets you own the song. Since there are no specific words or ideas that are programmed into your mind, you can make of it, what you want to feel about it. Of course the tempo of the songs will have an impact, as such most of the instrumentals that I like and prefer are those of medium slow or medium tempo. Most of the time, I use these sounds to enjoy my coffee break, or when I take a break and look out my window at life or the sky or nature. It's wonderful, subhanallaah.

Of course the most inspiring words or sounds would be that of Quran and the Quran recited in a calm and moderate voice. May the default words and sounds the envelopes my mind, be that of the Quran and calm recitations of the Quran. Aamiin.

The Merchant and the Alchemist's Gate

When I first read The Story of My Life - by Ted Chiang, I was wishing he could read the Quran. Because I was reminded of the Quran, when I read it - how the story was not linear, how the idea of past, present and future is interrelated. It actually made me also understand the message in the Quran at a different level - more aware of how the story of what happens in Afterlife is presented - 'as if' it has happened - and it has - because our life is like a block of ice - frozen, and as a human being, we go through our passage of time, before we get to that part. It is mind-boggling, it makes me reflect so much and appreciate the Quran even more. So I had wished I can give Ted Chiang a copy of the Quran translation.

Then I read The Merchant and the Alchemist's Gate - and I know, he HAS read the Quran. First, I'd like to note my feelings, when I came across familiar and true ideas of Allaah and a Muslim. Then I will also share what I feel about the whole story.

I was excited when I first saw 'Allaah is the beginning of all things'. [29:19] Whoa - okay.. this is mentioned in the Quran. And then came the story of Hassan, and how he 'prayed to Allaah for the injured to be healed and the dead to be at peace and thanked Allah for sparing him." - what a true Muslim would do.

At this point, and as the story became more intriguing, I can't help saying aloud, 'oh please don't be disappointing!' I was afraid if towards the end of the story, the idea of Allaah and a true Muslim becomes twisted at the end of the story. I read on with anticipation.

'And seeing the boy's tears had reminded him of the Prophet's teachings on the value of mercy...' - okay, still fitting a true Muslim.

'As to how we came to know... I have no explanation except that it was the will of Allah, and what other explanation is there for anything.' MasyaaAllaah.. yes. Please don't disappoint me in the end.

'I swear is shall make good use of these riches that Allah has blessed me with.' Subhanallaah, still on the right track! Relating the good received to Allaah's blessings. Any good we receive is by Allaah's will. And aiming to make use of the riches to do good, is also an idea mentioned in the Quran. [27:19]

'Allah rewards those He wishes to reward and chastises those He wishes to chastise.' [5:18, 5:40, 35:8, and more] MasyaaAllaah.

'you cannot avoid the ordeals that has been assigned to you. What Allah gives you, you must accept.' [10:107].

'after sixty sunrises and three hundred prayers' - he is aware that Muslims pray five times a day.

To my delight and satisfaction, the story ended with the perception of Allaah intact.

The story itself, is amazing and deep in meaning and lessons. And I am impressed at the familiarity of the language and how the words were used in the dialogues. It didn't feel out of place. I remember The Alchemist, having the same type of characters with some learning points as well - however this one, even though it's much shorter, is much more poignant and clear. And the fact that it's shorter and inspiring, makes it excellent, worthy of an award. I am not disappointed at all.

Have a read.

p.s. some sentences from the story that i like/love.
1. I had not expected a learned man to perform a conjuror's trick, but it was well done, and I applauded politely.
2. ... until he was overtaken by death, breaker of ties, destroyer of delights.
3. ... Allah guides whom he wishes to my shop, and I am contented to be an instrument of His will.
4. Coincidence and intention are two sides of a tapestry.. you may find one more agreeable to look at, but you cannot say one is true and the other is false.
5. It is said that Fate laughs at men's schemes.
6. If our lives are tales that Allah tells, then we are the audience as well as the players, and it is by living these tales that we receive our lessons.
7. Nothing erases the past. There is repentance, there is atonement and there is forgiveness. That is all, but that is enough.

*standing ovation*

The mountains shall pass away like clouds

I was listening about atoms many years ago, how it is actually mostly empty inside. It's just empty space and protons moving around in patterns using and causing energy. In that video lesson is says that if we remove all the empty space from the atom, and really consider the actual mass in an atom, the solid building we see, will actually be just like dust, so little mass.

I was immediately reminded of the ayat about mountains at the end of the world :

And the Day when the Trumpet will be blown, and all who are in the heavens and the earth will start in fear, save him whom Allaah wills, And all come unto Him humbled.
And you see the hills/mountains, you deem them solid, flying with the flight of clouds - the doing of Allaah who perfects all things. Lo! He is informed of what you do.

An Naml 27:88-89

This is a wild theory of how I perceive that ayat, after learning about atoms. When the world ends, energy breaks and perhaps the protons will no longer be dancing in the atoms that make up the mountains, and it truly becomes just mostly empty, no longer solid and can fly away like the clouds, and be leveled to the ground. God has also said in other parts of the Quran, that at the end of Time, the earth will be leveled... no mountains or high plains.

God knows best. Subhanallaah.
I'm just always in awe at how advanced and truly deep the Quran is.

Other people may understand the meaning of that ayat to be related to other phenomenons (I saw one linking it to the continents moving/drifting 1-5cm per year).

The amazing thing about the Quran is, it could be that all of it is correct - the truly advanced delivery of one ayat that can mean more than one thing, and all of them true. But one thing for sure, it has never been wrong or contradicting.

The amazing Quran. Alhamdulillaah for this Book.

Daud (David) A.S., the mountains and Tibetan Plateau

I love mountains.  No, not to hike them, but just it's view. I don't mind driving up.

Mountains are quite a majestic creation of Allaah.

"And We have set on the earth mountains standing firm, lest it should shake with them, and We have made therein broad highways (between mountains) for them to apss through that they may receive Guidance" (Al Anbiya' 21:31) Many other wonderful ayats about the mountains in the Quran.

I love the view when I was in Nagano Japan, driving on a long straight road and ahead of me, in the horizon, snow-capped mountains.  Subhanallaah. Also when I was in Mongolia endless, rolling mountains all around. Subhanallaah.

And in relation to mountains, I'm also attracted to this ayat in the Quran, about how Allaah made the mountains and the birds sing praises to Allaah, with Daud.  Such a beautiful passage, and such a beautiful image.

"To Solomon We inspired the right understanding of the matter.  To each [of them] We gave Judgment and Knowledge; And We subjected, with Daud - the mountains to celebrate Our praises, and the birds. It was We who did [all these things]. (Al-Anbiya' 21:79)

"And We certainly gave David from Us bounty. [We said] O mountains, repeat [Our] praises with him and the birds [as well]. And we made pliable for him iron -"Make full coats of mail and calculate precisely the links, and work righteousness. Indeed I, of what you do, am Seeing" (As-Saba 34:10-11)

Many years ago, I saw a video of Shila Amzah -a Malaysian singer, who has made it big in China- she sang a Chinese Folk Song - Tibetan Plateau.  I've heard this song before, but her rendition was so beautiful that it gave me goosebumps.   The video that I saw before, showed the meaning of the lyrics in English (I can't find that video already).  The meaning of the song, immediately reminded me of Daud A.S. and the mountains.





Tibetan Plateau (rough translation, I got from the original music video - Li Na)

Is it a call from a remote antiquity
If it's a prayer for ten thousand years
What if there is a song without [need for] words
or an attachment daunting forever

ah I see mountains
mountains with endless horizon
mountains standing up each other
ya la so it is the tibetan plateau

Many nights we gaze upon the sky
we dream of immortal life
isn't it an anthem
or the untouchable (unchangeable) grandeur

ah I see mountains
mountains with endless horizon
mountains standing up each other
ya la so it is the tibetan plateau


So now, when I come across this ayat, I'm reminded of the Tibetan Plateau, and every time I hear the Tibetan Plateau, I'm reminded of the ayat.  Subhanallaah, how Allaah has subjected everything on this earth to mankind.  How Great Allaah is, and how much gratitude, we owe to Allaah. Alhamdulillaah. May Allaah guide us all.

Have a fruitful Ramadan in these strange times.

Petite (17cm) Lemon Cake

90gm butter, melted
80gm flour
80gm sugar
pinch of salt
2 eggs
1tbsp lemon juice
zest from 1 lemon

1. preheat oven to 180deg Celcius, line the cake pan, melt butter in microwave, sift flour.
2. In a large bowl, add eggs, sugar and salt.  Over the double boiler (hot water around 50-60deg Cel) whisk the egg mixture until it becomes lukewarm and sugar dissolve.   Remove the bowl and whip the mixture until very thick and double in size.
3. Add sifted flour in 3 parts, fold in gently with spatula until incorporated.
4. Add melted bugger, mix well.
5. Add lemon juice and lemon zest and mix until just combined.
6. Pour batter into pan, bake for 30-35 mins.

For icing, mix well 50gm of icing sugar and 1/2 tbsp lemon juice and drizzle/spread over cake once it's out of the oven.

Quran reflections - 10:24 Yunus - nothing is from 'scratch'

Quran 10:24

"The example of worldly life is but like rain which We have sent down from the sky that the plants of the earth absorb - those from which men and livestock eat - until when the earth has taken on its adornment and is beautified and it's people suppose that they have capability over it - there comes to it Our command by night or by day and We make it as a harvest as if it had not flourished yesterday. Thus do We explain in detail the signs for a people who give thought."

Isn't it important to always remember that all that we have, all that we are capable of, is only by Allaah's will.

The underlined statement, reminds me of our current times - men have invented so many wonderful and wondrous things, and people who use them, often forget that all those wondrous things that man invented are still derived from Nature that Allaah created. 

What they learned, they learned from nature that God created and what they made, they took it's sources from nature that God created. Nothing is built from 'scratch'.   What they invented is only a speck of the wonders of Nature that Allaah created. 

my mother's passing

My mom was a fighter. She had many conditions and sometimes some injuries, but she has always put up a brave and strong front. However she would shout, if the nurses did not treat her gently and causing too much pain. She was on dialysis 3 times a week for the last 2 years plus.

Last week, when her condition was very bad, she still held on for as long as she could.

I was on my way to the hospital, when the doctor called to ask me an urgent question, if my mom's heart stops beating, what do I want them to do? Do I want them to perform CPR or do whatever they can to force the heart to beat or do they do nothing? She was not getting any better. I said, I would call her back in an hour or two, to discuss with my brother and father first. She said, but they need an answer for now - if it happens now, before I call back, what do they do?

I said, ok, do nothing. It was last Thursday.

My mind went blank for a while. I am just hoping now that I can reach the hospital before anything happens. I updated my family.

My mom's heart was not beating well already, even a slow dialysis is putting too much for her heart. Not doing dialysis builds up toxin into her heart also. It's bad both ways. She is also not able to digest her liquid food well.

I accept her time is near. My father and I told the doctor that it is our hope that she could pass away after maghrib - because for the Muslim, it would mean a lot to pass away on a Muslim's Friday (which begins at maghrib). Of course we totally understand that she is only human and Allaah has decreed her death at a very specific time. (And for all people a term has been set: and when [the end of] their term approaches, they can neither delay it by a single moment, nor can they hasten it. 7:34) We can only now make doa.

We stayed by her side, and try not to say anything else, other than 'laa ilaaha illallaah' and 'allaah', stroking her forehead gently, hoping for her to be peaceful and not afraid - laa hawfun 3alaihim, wa laahum yahzanuun. Between that, I was making a very very earnest doa, that Allaah keep her going till maghrib. Please, let her go on a Friday. Please, make it easy for my mother. Please make her see beautiful things. Please forgive her and have mercy on her.

The doctor called me out at about 5pm plus, to inform me that her heart rate has started to fall. It may fall slowly, then a plateau, and then a sharp fall. I asked her how long sometimes that takes.. she said, it's still hard to tell, because it differs for people.. it could be 2 hours or even whole night. I thanked the doctor.

I went in and continue to make my earnest doa. We took turns to go down, to let the grandchildren and her in laws see her for the last time. Due to the outbreak, only 4 person allowed to visit at any one time.

While we are by her, we continued stroking her head, and uttering the important words. When she winced a bit, I'd read the doa for Allaah to relieve pain. and then I continued with 'allaah, allaah, laa ilaaha illallaah', still stroking her head gently. still earnestly in my heart praying for maghrib to come fast. Every second counted.

When I came back up for my turn, in the lift, maghrib approached. I rushed to the room - and the monitor showed 0. My brother said, she had just passed away. Just at the stroke of maghrib, it hit 0. And then the azan sounded from the phone, and the heart beat a bit more and back to 0. MasyaaAllaah. Alhamdulillaah. I kissed my mom's forehead, I forgot if I actually whispered, 'well done mak' but I was thinking it.

Mak passed away on 13th Feb 2020, doctor's record said : 7.36pm
By our record, it was 7.22pm Maghrib, 20 Jamadilakhir 1436H - a Friday full of barakah.

Alhamdulillaah, we also managed to arrange for her solat jenazah prayer to be held after the jumuah prayers at Pusara Aman Mosque - because I was really aiming for the many people who would be around to participate in the solat jenazah.

Alhamdulilaah, Thank you Allaah for answering all my prayers. Only by Allaah's mercy and will.

Please make doa for my mother - that Allaah forgive her and have mercy on her : Norliah Bte Abdullah.

guarding against viruses

Recently, Wuhan virus broke out. Even prior to this, there has been fatal viruses found over the years, like SARS, Mad Cow, Bird Flu etc. We have been asked to put on masks and wash our hands regularly to avoid being infected. Cleanliness is key.

Some significant viruses are airborne - spread through breathing, talking, coughing, sneezing, raising of dust, spraying of liquids, toilet flushing or any activities which generates aerosol particles or droplets (Wikipedia - airborne). Wuhan coronavirus is said to be transmitted through sneezing and coughing (CNA :Wuhan virus: What we know about the outbreak so far - 24 Jan 2020 ).

Thinking about these different and new viruses appearing every other year, brings to mind this hadith from Sahih Muslim, KITAB Al-ASHRIBA (THE BOOK OF DRINKS):

Jabir b. 'Abdullah reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: Cover the vessels and tie the waterskin, for there is a night in a year when pestilence descends, and it does not pass an uncovered vessel or an untied waterskin but some of that pestilence descending into it.

Initially, I imagined that the night it descends, the virus descends and settles in exposed water - but now I realise, it could be referring to the way it is being transmitted. Using the masks and washing of hands may be helpful, however, I find that the covering of our drinking vessels, e.g. jugs, glasses, cups etc is equally as important if not MORE important, but overlooked. You can wash your hands, however, if you don't cover your drinking containers, these airborne viruses can easily settle into your exposed drinks and then you consume it. Sounds like an obvious and definite way to get infected.

I am certain, masyaaAllaah, that God's words/advice in the Quran or through our Prophet S.A.W. is only for man's own good. It's just a matter of whether we know why or we don't. However, in God we trust. I believe it's important and advisable to learn and practise the sunnah, like not lying on your back, not blowing into your hot food and drink (wait till the food/drink is less hot before drinking) - wouldn't you be blowing carbon dioxide into your food and drink if you did?

Therefore, as an additional measure in protecting yourself against getting infected by these viruses, cover your drinking vessels (containers) amongst other known measures and tawakkal. May Allaah protect us all from unwanted illnesses.