Madame Blossom's Book of Poems

Monday, December 12, 2016

I don't want to be a monster.

Recently there was a video on Facebook, of a road rage in Singapore. A man was so unhappy, that a car on the main road, did not allow him to overtake his car to filter out to the main road.
He went on to drive on the road shoulder to overtake the car anyway and stopped abruptly in front of the car, obstructing other vehicles too. He came out to throw vulgarities and scolded the driver.

When I saw that video, I was reminded of myself. I had been angry the other day at the Tuas Checkpoint queue, when I was trying to keep to my lane, and motorcycles are inching their way onto the car lane. I kept on just going straight, and one of the motorcycles had inched a bit too much and my side mirror hit his. He moved a bit in front of me and said, ‘stupid’. The truth is, that evening I had not been in a good mood and the car air-conditioner was not working. I scolded him back and asked him, how cars are going to pass if they kept going into the only 2 car lanes? He said, “stupid” again. I told him, yes, I’m stupid and he is so clever! Forced a sarcastic smile and moved on.

However, after that, I felt a bit sad, that I had been like that. I wish I had maintained my cool… which was tricky being in a hot car. The guy dressed and looked like your regular nice workshop guy. He was probably tired too, trying to get home as soon as he can.

What is turning us, regular people, into inconsiderate users and some into monsters on the road? If I had to analyse the situation, based on me, I was tired and hot. I’m normally not like that.
It’s sad that the stress of living in this place, is turning me into that kind of person, when caught in a situation.

I really, really wonder if people in other countries are as stressful as people working/living in Singapore.

Allaah has planned it all, right? I need to find my contentment point. Happiness is being contented. Happiness can be achieved when having enough for your daily/monthly needs.
I’m working towards that – towards getting rid of unnecessary pressures. I’m putting my trust in Allaah, it’ll all work out. Aamiin.

That man, from the video, I wonder what his story is. What happened before he started driving that day. He probably had some bottled up stress, and that incident, it just passed his threshold.

To the motorcyclist, I’d like to smile sincerely at him if I see him again. If I can remember his face.

My jihad (struggle) continues, to be the woman I’d like to be. Aamiin.

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