to smile and be friendly

I've been told by my mother before, that a person once told her, that I appear arrogant and fierce. While another friend of mine, appears friendly. I wonder how that is. I try to smile a lot. I do.

A friend also once told me, to always have a 'half-smile' on my face. It can be quite tiring to control a half smile all day.

In my conscious effort to smile, I had an embarassing experience. In my office, there is this guy who comes down almost everyday to service our printer. He talks to almost all my dept colleagues except me. I wonder if I've missed out some get-to-know session. So, I was reminded of what my mother used to say. One day, he was at the office AGAIN, and i was walking past him, so I smiled at him.

He didn't smile back.

And I wonder why. Did he think I was smiling at someone else? Husnuzon. I didn't make anymore conscious effort, after that.

Personally, I would like to be approachable - but there's something about me, which I myself have yet to find out - that seems to be keeping some people away.

Perhaps I do look fierce or arrogant when I'm unconscious about it.. but that's just the make of my face.. I don't consciously want to be or want to appear like that. Really.

And seriously.. I can't be smiling ALL the time also right? That would make me look crazy pulak.

Suddenly, I'm reminded of The Joker - the man with the perpetual smile on his face. Nope, don't want to be him either.

Anyway, tawakkaltu'alallah - I'll just have to be myself I guess, cause I can't change myself much anyway.

:)