Anti Dumping - Personal Etiquette

DON'T give away old unopened, unfinished foodstuff to other people as 'gifts'.  Nor unwanted clothes or bags or anything that you yourself do not want to keep already to others as dumping ground.

It's fine if you have asked the other person if they would want it, and they accept.  But to force it on them on the pretext of 'gifts', is unethical.  You are transferring the guilt and trouble of having to get rid of unwanted stuff to another person.

How to stop all these dumping? 
AGAIN - stop buying unnecessary stuff, stop giving away thoughtless gifts or passing it on to another!
Let's educate and remind each other.

Everytime you want to give someone a gift - ask yourself, if you would be happy to receive it.

A higher degree of consideration, is to know the person you're giving it to, if they would be happy to receive it, regardless that you wouldn't mind receiving the same gift - because everyone is different.

I know most people quietly accept, then curse or complain behind people's back AND/OR suffer with hoarding problems. Somebody's got to say something. 

Be considerate, even in giving gifts.

"O ye who believe! Give of the good things which ye have (honourably) earned, and of the fruits of the earth which We have produced for you, and do not even aim at getting anything which is bad, in order that out of it ye may give away something, when ye yourselves would not receive it except with closed eyes. And know that Allah is Free of all wants, and worthy of all praise. " (Al Baqarah 2:267 - Translation of the Quran by Yusuf Ali)

'Small' lies.

Looks like funny but it's not actually. This is basically lying.

A true God-conscious Muslim should not do this. But it has become so normal, nobody bats an eyelid to utter, when they'd call 'small' lies.

Small to you maybe, but it may affect the person you lied to in many ways you don't even bother to think about. Forgetting also that no matter how small (even the size of a mustard seed or anything smaller than that), your words and your actions will be accounted for.

If you have iman, this should be a concern.

Greedy Singtel

When you first sign up with Singtel or renew your contract you are forced to accept some services that you don't even want, like Reuters and aAmped.   When I informed that at the point of subscription, they said it's compulsory and they cannot do anything.  Can some additional services be compulsory, and you have to pay for it?!? even if it's about 30 cents per month, I'm not letting them steal my money like that.

You can call 1688 to unsubscribe and refuse to pay the charges. 

All this is happening because of greed.  Or they have manipulated the word and call it 'growth'.   If there is a need for CONSTANT growth in profit, OF COURSE, they'll resort to unscrupulous way of making more and more money - like decreasing 12GB per month data plan to only 2GB.  Then charging $5 if you exceed for every MB.  Next month onwards increase to $10 if you exceed.   All these for no extra work, just making extra money to feed the filthy rich major shareholders.

So I'd rather donate my 30 cents to the poor than give it to Singtel. NO THANK YOU.

In fact. shoots.. I should have changed carrier. will wait out this stupid contract and insyaa Allah change carrier.

Their coverage is also not that good at my house in Singapore. Arrgh. GREEDY SINGTEL! 
Stealing my money subtly with your services.

*unplugged!

Work and play (personal time)

An excerpt from 'Vital Lies, Simple Truths' by Daniel Goleman.

"In traditional societies, work and leisure are integrated. Buyer and seller linger over coffee before beginning to haggle; when friends come by, work can be dropped to socialize. The frame o work as we know it (now) is a peculiarity of modern society. It was the British mill owners of the seventeenth and eighteenth centruries who by and large invented our frame for a workday. Even in the early eighteenth century in Britain work offered a high degree of flexibility and independence; whether farmer or trandeman, most people worked at home. Work rhythms by and large went in cycles of intense labor broken by idle, free time." page 203

Yes, I would love to break away from the current frame. I wish to go back to the old frame where life is about personal time is family, self, work all jumbled together is needed - not defined strictly as now, with no access to other roles when we are playing the role or a worker. It's unnatural.

It is actually a cruel expectation - to have the mother stay in the workplace finishing a piece of work, even when her husband or child is sick at home. Or worse, to forget the duties to God, because of minor work commitments.

God help me achieve it. Aamiin.

Cranky Old Man

I love this poem.  It reminds us that there is so much much more to an old person, than meets the eye. So much life experiences and lessons, that we are still struggling to uncover.

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in an Australian country town, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.

One nurse took her copy to Melbourne. The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas editions of magazines around the country and appearing in mags for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.

And this old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.


Cranky Old Man

What do you see nurses? . . .. . .What do you see?
What are you thinking .. . when you're looking at me?
A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . .. with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food .. . ... . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . .'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . .the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . .. . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . . ... lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . .The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking?. .Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse .you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am . . . . .. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .. . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . .with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .. . . .. . who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . .. . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . ..my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows .. .. .that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . . . .I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . .. . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . .. With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons .. .have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me . . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, .. ...Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ... . . . . I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing .. . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man . . . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
It's jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles .. .. . grace and vigour, depart.
There is now a stone . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . A young man still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells
I remember the joys . . . . .. . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . . . . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . .. gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. . . . .. . . open and see.
Not a cranky old man .
Look closer . . . . see .. .. . .. .... . ME!!