I miss having (just) blogger.

I suddenly miss those times when I only write my thoughts in blogger and connect to other people only through their blogger pages. It seriously feels more peaceful, more controlled. More personal.

I'm feeling so melancholic and a bit depressed. Yesterday I had a bad experience on FB. On FB you always have to be on your guard you know. It can be quite tiring. Your post may be private or public as you set it, but your likes and comments are really dependent on the post privacy setting.

Twice now, I commented with the intention that it will only be read by the one who posted and their friends - not for ALL MY FB CONTACTS. However ALL OF THEM can read what I wrote about and I don't think everything we say will suit everyone who reads it. In this case, I commented on a seemingly innocent post. Then a friend of that person made some STUPID UNRELATED CRUDE remarks that make me sick in the stomach. My hubby texted me, asking me what that was all about. It suddenly hit me that everyone I know will also see that nonsense and maybe think I condone to that?!?! I immediately went to delete my comments because I don't want to be bloody related to that post at all now. My God! I felt SO ANGRY. I felt violated actually. I felt SICK.

I threw my phone far, I felt like I have to be away from this stupid social media.

This morning, I tried to reflect on it, if it is actually a small matter. But no.. I still feel the same. I contemplated deactivating my FB. I went in to do it.

Then there was the pages I created that is suppose to do good, that had to be removed. And then there is the good people group I'm in, and I thought.. OK there are some good things.. but it's REALLY sometimes quite challenging, especially when I'm in a hyper mood, to stop myself from commenting on my real friend's posts.

I finally didn't deactivate it. Maybe I'll create another account first - or maybe I'm just wasting my time thinking about this stupid thing. Stay off first la.. until I can discipline myself. Yeah right.

Insyaa Allah, if there is anything beneficial, I still want to share. No doubt it's a powerful tool to reach the masses. (Digression alert) Even if people don't actually take in what you say at that moment or ignore it, constant exposure to the idea will somehow, hopefully plant some good thoughts. Just like how mass media are doing it to promote stupid ideas.. we have to fight it using whatever tool we can have to reach the masses in the same way with something good.

In any case, I pray that Allah makes me stronger. I'm feeling more peaceful in blogger.