Beauty where you are

 I used to find beauty in other people's social media posts and videos.  I used to admire them in movies with good cinematography and animes.   They are all so beautiful masyaaAllaah.

But since last year, I realise, we can make that beauty or feel that beauty where we are.  You only need to start noticing.  Apply your mind's cinematography to the place where you are.  

Look at the sky through the tree's leaves, observe your surroundings at dawn and dusk, notice the blooms on our street and sidewalk plants.  Seek quiet, to observe these. 

You can create one at home also - keep your place tidy and get rid of things you have not touched in the last 3 or 5 years.  Put plants - many plants - real ones if you can, which is preferable, or fake ones.  Greens make a room feel more cosy and calm.  And I love white curtains.  it brings in lots of natural light, but keep out the heat.    

The point is, you can create those beauty you've been admiring in the posts and videos, where you are.  

Subhanallaah.

I am the traveler.

I am the traveler, 

waiting for the moment 

I would be leaving for home. 

Meanwhile, I try to fill up my hours, 

doing things that may benefit others 

or just floating on the river of time. 

When I finally leave for home, 

I hope to leave in the best state. 

Appreciated by those I've met along the way. 

I hope we'll be able to meet again 

In the beautiful garden of my permanent home 

Reminiscing the good old days.

Why would sinners be put in Hell?

I have been questioned before, why God created Hell and why the Merciful God have to punish people?  

My immediate and official answer is, I don't know, Allaah knows best. Just like how, when the Angels asked Allaah, why He wanted to put human on earth when they would cause mischief and shed blood - Allaah said, "I know what you don't know." Even the Angels don't know everything. 

We humans too, and we definitely are not able to see the total big picture, the total workings of humanity, the world and the universe. We only see miniscule snippets. 

There is a question put forth in the Quran, that I happen to have just reached : "Do those who commit evil deeds really think that We will deal with them in the same way as those who believe and do righteous deeds, that they will be alike in their living and their dying? How badly they judge." 45:21 

Let's just ponder over our current world - this earth - this life. Why do governments create punishments for certain offenders? Should we be kind and put the serial rapist who raped your toddler, the tyrant leader who had your father killed and family starved, the sadistic killer who murdered your sister for no reason, who are all not remorseful - should we put them all in a resort in Maldives? 

 Also, we look at our kind neighbour or the old man who is non-Muslim working hard for a living, and we assume, these are the 'kafirs' whom Allaah will put in Hell? How do you even know that and how can you even assume that? Kafir-ness of a person is something known only to Allaah - being a kafir is something internal. 

Allaah knows best the people deserving of Hell - e.g. one trait Allaah mentions is, the person has been convinced and know the truth, but rebel just because he is arrogant.' Allaah knows best. 

So am I saying the non-Muslims who have not heard the convincing message of Islam and are regular people who does good deed, Allaah will put them in Heaven? Well, Allaah is the Most Merciful and Allaah knows best - I don't know. 

 "Then in this case, I may as well not be a Muslim!" Then, you may fall into the category of a people who is convinced of the truth - however is arrogant and rebellious. Be careful. You don't have to proof anything to anyone - it is between you and Allaah alone. 

 Whoever believes and does good, it's only for his own benefit, and whoever does bad deeds it is to his own detriment. Believe, and be good anyway. May Allaah guide us all.

Dreamt that I dreamt of my mother

I've been waiting so long to have a vivid dream of my late mother. You know when we sleep, our souls leave our body, just like the dead. And for those who are destined to still live, the soul returns. 

So during sleep, our souls are wandering, i don't know where. I'd like to think that mine has met my mom's in the other dimension. 

 So before I forget... Just now I took a nap after my subuh, and I dreamt. We were somehow living in a condo on the ground floor. And as I was sliding the window, open, I found that somehow it was not moving evenly. (must be all the architect videos I was watching). And then I checked below, and found that when i moved the window, the wall below it shifted and then one more slide of the window, the wall broke into pieces. 

 I called my husband, and as I was speaking to him, in some how a chaotic situation - everyone was talking - the door bell rang. We opened the door and my mother was there! She had straight should length hair in white dress (yes white dress - probably like the one my daughter has) and she was smiling so widely. So I said 'mak!!' and hugged her tight. 

I looked for my father, but apparently she came alone. I asked her to sit, and I think at that point her hair looked more like when she left us. At that point somehow, I supposedly woke up from my dream and went to tell my husband that I dreamt of my mom so vividly - very vividly it was as if she was really really here. 

 And then Hanaa came out to show me a photo frame she wanted to give me for my birthday and it was a picture of her, my mother and me. And she said, 'you know atuk chose this picture right'? [after this i'm not sure which comes first and the exact sequence, but the following happened in my dream] Then I continued complaining to my husband about the wall, and somehow, he was already at another place and I found myself talking to the wall (wow - this is...). 

Then I noticed that there were many drawings on the wall, and Hadi said it was his, from when he was a boy. He ran in the room to take something to show. 

And then I went back 'downstairs', now it's somehow downstairs' to the balcony by the river -  or was it flooded? - anyway, someone found a body that may still be alive, and the doctor and ambulance was waiting there, then suddenly the boy was on a floating stage of somekind with another boy who is chinese, interviewing him for short while and speak a bit and finished of with some arabic phrases like he heard on the radio at the end of religious lectures.. (was that Isa Ma? haha). 

 And then I recalled the very vivid dream I had about my mom - and then I woke up for real and now I am smiling, happy that I had a dream about my mom - even if it was a dream, in that dream - it was vivid and she looked so well and happy :) 

 May Allaah forgive all of our parents sins and gather all of us in Jannatul Firdaus. Aamiin. Have a great Friday. :) Then I went back 'upstairs' to see the situation about the wall.

Who to blame for discords in family and friends

Have you, yourself, ever said or did something in the spur of the moment, but regret it right after it happened or even as it was happening - however due to the circumstances do not have the chance to explain or apologise or change it. There are times, we say things or react in a way, we wish we had not. We don't want to. But if we didn't mean to do it, why did we do it anyway? It is from our subconscious mind and syaitan. And insyaaAllaah, both we can slowly overcome, if we habitually remind ourselves and be aware of our words and actions - even if we did not manage to stop it - but we should reflect on it, quickly repent (say astaghfirullah) and TRY our best to avoid it in future. And God knows best. This may also happen to others around us. Always give them this benefit of doubt - that they didn't mean to say or act that way too - most of the time. I believe that everyone has the desire to be good and do good - but sometimes syaitan us off course. Syaitan is human's avowed enemy. In surah Yusuf, Yusuf's brothers were plotting to even kill him, but decided instead to throw him in a well - so maybe someone else will take him away. Like that, Yusuf A.S. was separated from his beloved father for so many many years. I cannot imagine the pain of one losing a child and a child losing his parent. Even then, at the end of it all, Yusuf A.S. forgave his brothers and mentioned of the episode as 'when syaitan had sown dissensions between me and my brothers' (12:100). There is a big lesson for us here. Based on the earlier mentioned consideration and this story of Yusuf A.S. - I also try to have this mindset. When someone among my friends or family does or say (or not say) some thing that may (or may not) have hurt my feelings - I try to remember Yusuf's story. Syaitan has sown it - and syaitan is THE enemy - not our family or friends. With that, it becomes easier to be understanding and to overlook those mistakes and forgive sincerely insyaaAllaah. Then make doa, that Allaah will make us strong and sow love and sincerity in our hearts toward our family, friends and people in general. And that Allaah forgive all of our sins and theirs, for Allaah is Most Merciful and Most Forgiving.