30 day challenge - Day 16-30 and END

Haih. Seriously, I cannot bring myself to go through the 30 days stuff that we're suppose to write about.
I feel silly.

But you know what, just to finish what I started, so that it doesn't become a constant habit of mine to always leave something halfway done.. let's just do this in one day. Sooo.. where was I.. ok..

Day 16 - Short term goals for this month and why.
I want to finish at least one video I started - why? because I started since last month before I went on hiatus. I have to finish this.

Day 17 - How you hope your future will be like.
Peaceful, calm, with good iman, health, wealth etc. Die in iman and easy death. ameen.

Day 18 - 5 things that irritate me about others (actually they wrote opposite/same sex.. that equals others in general lah).
Right now, I can't think of any really irritating thing. I don't want to think about this.. I don't want to be irritated by others, when I don't easily get irritated. I just want to reflect on myself. Oh ok.. wait, I know. What irritates me, not really about others, but about people in general - is their fuss over trivial earthly matters in life - especially when it totally has no direct relation or impact on them. Especially part gossip2. I think that's it for now - like I said, don't want to think about it.

Day 19 - a picture of something you want to do before you die.
I tak kuasa nak cari gambar. I want to leave something behind, like a good book or a good movie that would somehow make others want to be better people - before I die. InsyaAllah. Ameen.

Day 20 - The meaning behind my blog name.
It is seriously what goes on DEEP within my neurons.

Day 21 - A phot of something that makes me happy.
Any beautiful view of nature, makes me elated and happy, that few seconds or minutes of blissfulness.

Day 22 - A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
No one has hurt me recently.. if there's anyone, i guess it's me myself. So, to me, I'd like to say, get a grip, focus on life's objectives, keep the doa going, stay God-conscious and move on.

Day 23 - 15 facts about you.
My God! isn't the 30 days enough fact about me? go read.

Day 24 - A photo of something that means a lot to me.
My family and friends, mean a lot to me. A lot to learn with the different people we meet. I'm glad we crossed path.

Day 25 - Who are you.
My name is Erni. I'm a struggling Muslim.

Day 26 - A photo of somewhere you want to go.
Go search google image for Middle Eastern countries with beautiful historical architectures - so that we can learn from the past.

Day 27 - What kind of person attracts you.
A person who has a good heart, and has a strong sense of who they are and not easily influenced by the masses.

Day 28 - In the past month, what have you learned.
A lot. Too much to say. But still not enough.

Day 29 - Something you could never get tired of doing.
Gaining more knowledge, so as to strengthen my iman.

Day 30 - A photograph of myself today, and 3 good things that have happened in the last 30 days.
I don't feel like putting a photo.. don't feel narcissistic today.
3 good things in the past month: I am more aware of myself. I'm still healthy and sane. I still have my family with me.
Alhamdulillah.

yeay! done. :p

Day 15 - Something you don't leave the house without.

Clothes with some head covering. MUST have it on.

Other than that, wallet (which contains money, ATM card, credit card), and iPhone. I usually don't leave the house without them.
iPhone keeps me in touch with the 'world' everywhere I go. Keeps me occupied if I'm waiting for something/someone.

BUT, don't you think that it's not a good thing? To feel so dependent on something that you feel like you cannot leave the house without it. I'd like to break away from that dependency.

So, recently, I have managed to leave my house without my iPhone. I left it at home when I went for a walk in the jungle. Just brought a some cash with me. It felt quite good actually. Not to be in constant connection with the 'world' and being accessible to the 'world'. This would be especially so, when I just want to go out and be ALONE.

That leaves.. the clothes with some head covering and a bit of cash.

Day 14 (30 day challenge) - A TV show you're currently addicted to.

For many many years now, I don't watch TV much, if not at all. So there isn't a single TV series that I'm addicted to. I'm not even addicted to TV. Once in a purplish blue moon (this should be more rare than a blue moon), when I do watch TV - it's mostly just what's already on - that is switched on by other family members.

If we talk about previous series that I used to follow when I was younger and religiously watched TV every week - then I currently recall and enjoyed watching - Friends, Ally McBeal, Jerry Seinfeld - oh I forgot the other one.. where there are two brothers. The elder one is a radio DJ, and they are always arguing. Tak penting.

I have watched a few episodes of Monk & The Mentalist. I enjoyed it - but still it doesn't make me religiously look forward to the next episode. So it's always a case of IF I happen to be watching TV and it's the day and time that these shows are showing, then I'd watch.

I know. Boring I am, to most.

Day 13 (30 day challenge) - Picture of favourite band or artiste.

Dah penat nak cakap takde favourites per se. But right now, the artiste I most frequently listen to is Jake Shimabukuro. If anyone knows that he is coming here (Singapore or Malaysia) for some performance, do inform me.

When I listen to his music, it makes me pay attention to the silence, the softest of sounds and to every single note played - and it makes you appreciate simplicity.

You know, sound - is also a part of Allah's creations. How the sound reaches our ears and sound the way it sounds - is really science and it's really amazing. Subhanallah. And the pleasure it sometimes bring.. masyaAllah.

So, anyhow, this is the first video that I came across of him, playing. Thereafter I looked up his other performances and I've come to love his music.

"I've always believe that the ukelele is an instrument of peace. And if everyone plays the ukelele, then this world would be a much happier place." - Jake Shimabukuro :p

Day 12 (30 day challenge) - Your current relationship

It's long. It's good. It's complicated. It is a lifetime learning experience. It is tough. It is sweet. It is something sometimes I want to let go off. It is something to fight for. It is a test. It is a blessing. It is marriage.

Day 11 (30 day challenge) - Picture of my favourite memory

How can I print a picture of my favourite memory. Agaaaaain.. favourite. Brapa kali aku nak cakap.. takde favourites. And I don't have a picture of my memories per se.

By this age, there are so many memories.. like.. there are places I remember all my life, for some have changed - some forever, not for better. Some have gone and some remain.

Oh you know what.. let's just sing it.



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Day 9 (30 day challenge) - Photo of item last purchased

suka ketipisan dan keringanan nya.




:p alhamdulillah..

Day 8 (30 day challenge) - My dream wedding

Wedding over.. but given a chance to say what my dream wedding would be like - now, that i'm more matured.. ahem... it would be simplicity.

Me, him, our parents and a couple of good friends (to help snap the moment), at the syariah court. In... ok lah nice clothes - not gawdy.. just nice. Baju kurung pun ok lah.

Then after that, we all go Swensens to eat (I am so going to Swensens!). Azhar also can.
When we have the mood, and not forgetting MONEY, we can invite other people to a restaurant for a celebration dinner another time.

Day 7 (30 day challenge) - A Photo of an animal I'd like to keep as a pet.

I love animals. I love all creatures, God's creations. Touching them and being near them is a totally different story. LOOKING after them or confining them is also not something I want to do.

But here is a picture that I like.. and this is my 2 minute pet. I liked how it felt.

Day 6 (30 day challenge) - A song to match your mood

I want to be a hero and find the hero in me.
So this is me singing this song about 20 years ago.
Sekarang da taubat, tak perform lagi.

Day 5 (30 day challenge) - What makes me different

Ok, I need a whole page.. or maybe not.

What makes me different, I would say, from MOST people..

I don't have a 'favourite' thing (e.g colour, food, drink etc).. everything is subjective.

I ALWAYS have something on my mind. Any second, (if you dare), ask me what I'm thinking about - there's surely something. But some could be weird stuff, so don't say I didn't warn you.

I have this determination NOT to be like others. I want to do things the way I want to do it. Of course in terms of what I think is right or best way. But DEFINITELY hate just doing the norm or the standard or something that's by the book - just because that's the way it is usually done. We need to THINK and KNOW why we do things the way we do. We need to do things the new, creative way. We need to think of of the box and perhaps out of the world.

I'm short.

Yeap.. that's all I can think of now..
bye.

*unplugged*

On autopilot, on the expressway.

Pan Island Expressway. Entrance from Toh Guan. Three lanes. I was fully aware when I got onto the expressway and filtered all the way to the fast lane. Then I was thinking of something.. and got into a deep thought.. so deep that, the next thing I knew I was back in the slow lane, ready to exit from the expressway to my home. I was genuinely surprised to find myself on the left most lane cause I TOTALLY don't recall the part when I filtered back to the most left lane.

The amazing thing is.. the BRAIN, it has the 'procedural' memory that gets stored in the head, and it's being recalled even without my conscious effort. I'm sure "I" signalled and checked for traffic before I filtered to the left most lane. MasyaAllah. A clear example of how the eyes, hands and legs can do things, without our consciously 'instructing' them to do it. The subsconscious mind just took over, when my conscious mind was busy.

Really, Subhanallah.

Trippy, again.

Day 4 (30 day challenge) - Favourite photo of best friend

I don't have it.

Oh I have a lot of best friends.. but the one I can ALWAYS count on, when I feel like I cannot talk to anyone else.. is God. No photo.

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Day 3 (30 day challenge) - A perfect date.

this 'date' can be with anyone right? I mean like i can date a girlfriend.. It's just a meeting. In any case, be it a girl or a guy or ..a pet, a... (where got such thing as perfect??) nearly perfect date would be :



low lights, soft breeze
waves splash upon the beach

sheet spread on soft white sand
on this bed our bodies land

legs up against a chair
our minds are free and with no care

leaves from the coconut trees
form a border for our scene

of the black black canvas sky
distant stars that's up so high

diamonds sparkle for our eyes
keep us in awe, as we lie

on the soft white sandy beach
star gazing till we fall asleep

~madame blossom~

:D

Day 2 (30 day challenge) - Favourite Movie

Go to post titled "Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind "

:)

In the last post, I just talked about the poem and how I love the movie. I love it because it talks about fate. I love the story and how it unveils itself. I like charlie kaufman as a screenplay writer.

Now, since in the last year, I've been involved in productions, I have to say, I love the technical details of the movie also.

I love how the movie starts, the music, the images, and how the titles come in only at almost the 18th minute.. I like the camera works, I love the dialogue, I love the cuts, it's brilliant. Did I say I like the accompanying music?

Yes, I love everything about this movie.

p.s. thanks eh.. now I'm watching it.. yet again. Aaaaand.. i just realised, that I have the same orange hoodie sweater that Clementine wears at the beach. :D

Day 1 (30 day challenge) - Favourite Song

Anis.. untuk kau nis... :p Here we go! Day 1.

Actually, many favourite songs la kan... But if I have to share a song with all, and it's among my favourites.. then I'd like to share this one by Jason Mraz - Life is Beautiful.

And I LOVE this rendition with minimal instruments. I've always like minimal instruments. I'd like to go to a concert where they only use the acoustic guitar or ukelele then sing. Then we'd be able to focus on the message of the song and the music, rather than the 'noise'.




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I am blessed. Thank you Allah.

I am blessed with the ability to breath, see, hear, talk, feel, cry, think, pray, walk, eat, drink, go to the toilet, work, sing, read, my parents, my husband, my children, my adik, my bffs, my sisters, brothers, friends, my extended families, a comfortable home, a domestic helper, a car, enough money to get things I need and some I want, enough money to earn some good deeds by giving to charity, the constant appreciation for Allah's creations, my face, my attitude, my being, my colleagues - some testing, some nice, my work, my interests, my small accomplishments, my gratitude to God and I'm sure there is a whole lot more, some too detailed to say, some forgotten.

Right..now I'm reminded of the song '.. when the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favourite things, and then I won't feel, so bad.'

In this case, it's remembering the things we are blessed with.

:)

jungle book

The last time I climbed up the Bukit Timah Hill, right after work with Aida, I vomited as soon as we reached the top. At first I just felt faint, then I felt light-headed. And then I felt nauseous. And then it came out. But I felt better after that.

So today, when Aida asked me if I wanted to climb up, right after work again.. I hesitated, because I was feeling hungry. Then I thought... okay... never mind. I'll pack myself a simple sandwich and bring a bottle of water.

I met Aida downstairs, and we happily walked towards Bukit Timah Hill as I slowly ate my sandwich.

The weather was nice, and we talked about the recent hot issue among the Malays in Singapore, among other things.

There were monkeys around. Aida noticed one, walking slowly 'terkedek2' towards us. And then I realised, it's looking straight at me as it is walking. And then I realised, that... shoots! I had FOOD with me. No wonder it came straight at me.

When it reached right in front of me, it jumped onto me, trying to get my bread. I didn't want to let go, cause I was enjoying my bread and I am hungry! Aida panicked and insisted that i "let go of the bread! let go of the bread!" And so I did. :-\

The monkey took the bread and ran away, and I had only eaten about 1/5 of it. I was still hungry. We went up. I got nauseous again, and vomited again. This time only a bit.

Monyet, betul.

the 3rd time is for real

I feel like a drunkard at work today. Sent an email, with the wrong attachment.
So I resent the email with subject "... with correct attachement", and STILL attached the wrong file!

I had no choice but to send the 3rd email, this time with the correct file attached. And to differentiate the earlier email, I indicated in the subject ".... with correct attachment, for real".

I hope the recipient didn't think I was trying to be funny.

guidance

Sometimes I feel like I'm in the rapid waters of worldly affairs, earnestly trying to hang on to the branches of Iman. 

I would start doing something, with the ultimate aim to please Allah SWT. but along the way, sometimes that aim is blurred.  I must rub my eyes again, and re focus. 

Must aim to do it all, with Allah as the ultimate goal. 

Ya Allah, I NEED your constant guidance.