me? make this world a better place?

it's quite a gigantic ambition, for a single person like me. On pondering about it, I think it's a lost cause.. to aim to make the WORLD a better place. Imagine all the citizens of the world becoming honest, sincere, helpful, no more poverty, no more greed and this world will be a better place. Right.. I can't imagine.

I can't even imagine a small organisation with no more backstabbing, bad envy, jealousy, greed for power or greed for money. If we can achieve this - that is BIG! masyaAllah.

But what I am sure of is that we can change ourselves, and perhaps 1-2 people who are somehow affected by our actions or words - some we know and some we don't. So when we say 'make the 'world' a better place - I guess, we are referring to the 'world' in the changed person's view. Okay, as I wrote that, I recall all the killings and the horrible things leaders and people do that comes out in the paper every.single.day. It's depressing! Haih.. okay, erase those thoughts. Look forward - to what we can achieve in Hereafter. Focus on the good we, ourselves, can do to help us, and our loved ones achieve. To help whoever we can help, that is within our means. Must remember, it's the niat, and the action - not the outcome. Outcome is in God's hands.

Right.. let's make this 'world' a better place.

*rambling thoughts * unplugged*

Kandang Kerbau

In the car after lunch just now, the conversation with my colleagues turned to which hospital we gave birth to our children.
The last three of my children was born in KKH - Kandang Kerbau Hospital. Now, we always refer to the hospital as KKH. In the olden days, we always call it Kandang Kerbau. And we'd always shock our Malaysian/Indonesian Malay speaking friends, when we say we were born in Kandang Kerbau.

And just the day before, as we passed by KKH, my youngest daughter Nadhrah said, "Eeeh.. KKH! I was born here. Kak Eema also and Kak Hanaa also right?"
"Yes :)", I said.
"What about you? You were also born in KKH right?"
"No, actually. I nenek gave birth to me at home."
"What?! Really?? So you don't have a health booklet lah?"

empty or..

"ummi, what is 'E' there (pointing to d car fuel gauge). 
"Empty"
"ooh.. i thought 'Entirely Full'"

choosing how to learn Islam and from who.

For a long while when I was a young adult, I did not attend any religious class. Perhaps because I was just very skeptical about what they teach and about them.

Then, when I had a 'calling', when I wanted to learn more about Islam, my own religion, I tried to attend a religious class. Being a very skeptical person, who feels that she has more or less, a firm opinion - it's not easy to please me.

I tried one class conducted by an ustazah (a female teacher), halfway through I felt like I wanted to leave. The actual lessons taught was superficial, mostly reading from some simple fiqh book, accompanied by funny examples and lame jokes. Lame to me. And then, I remembered, some kids were running at the back - she almost shouted at them, she said sternly "kids, PLEASE keep quiet! Can the mother, PLEASE look after those kids.. this is a class" - something to that effect. Immediately, I knew I did not want to attend this class already. At the end of the class she was singing to the best of her abilities - and I have to say, she did it well, the 99 names of Allah. But I'm not here for a nice voice or some lame jokes. I want to really LEARN, not be entertained.

Then I tried to attend another one by an ustaz (a male teacher). Again, the lessons were quite superficial, accompanied by some jokes, and then he is always talking about defending ourselves from sihir and he tries to sell his stuff - some things that can heal, or make us clever etc. at the end of every class I can remember. I attended a few weeks - but I am disappointed and almost giving up on learning.

I got quite desperate to find a class at mosques, where I can learn Islam systematically. What is the basis of the rules set in Islam? What are our sources? So far, I've only been learning what we must do or cannot do - with no explanations.

At that point, I realise the only way I can get these kind of information, is to attend a formal and 'certified' Islamic class - that issues certificates or diplomas. So I joined a diploma class with the intention of wanting to learn Islam from scratch and systematically. Get a bit of arabic too, to help me more or less understand the Quran as I read it. Alhamdulillah, my objectives were met.

I realise I am choosy in how I want to learn and who I want to learn from. And shouldn't we all be choosy about the teachers we learn from?

For me, besides the knowledge, they must be broad minded, not arrogant, kind to others, sincere, not threatened by questions from students and one who knows their own limitations in their God given knowledge - and are therefore acknowledges other opinions humbly without necessarily being shaky about their own, if they are sure about their stand.

And I want to be like them also. insyaAllah.

it's complicated

This country is multi-racial, multi-religious. But I guess it doesn't have much 'self-esteem' and refuse to celebrate this fact. As such, the government has defined 'public places' to be free of any religious activities. They also maintain that this is a secular country, and as such - religious life should be separated from secular life. Going to school, working and attending official gatherings are considered 'secular' activities.

Why can't we be Malays, Chinese and Indians, and still be Singaporeans? Why can't we attend school and go to work as Indians, Chinese and Malays? Why must our kids go to school, dressed in western dress code? Aren't we proud of our own?

Why can't we be taught tolerance, instead of integration? Don't you lose your cultural and religious values when you try to 'integrate'. What the hell does it really mean anyway? The dictionary says it's 1) combine or be combined to form a whole 2) bring or come into equal participation in an institution or social group.

I'm sure we are already a whole. The arms, legs, head, body, face - forms a whole man. The legs, need not look like, or behave like the arms in order to 'integrate'. Chinese, Malays, Indians, Eurasians, as a whole, we're Singaporeans.

Or maybe they meant the 2nd one. But that defeats the whole notion of 'multi-racial, multi-religious' - when everyone is equal. Why is the government trying to kill diversity?

They are such hypocrites. I'm sure they or most of them, have a religion. A religion is a belief that someone subscribe to. When a person believes and subscribe to it, it's not like an extra curricular activity or feeling that you can put aside. How can one 'put aside' religion during 'secular activities'. Why can't we be ourselves, as long as we don't trouble others or cause any harm to others? Why have they made it so difficult for us to live a normal life?

Oh.. how man have made life difficult for man. God made life simple, man go out of their way to complicate it.