within my neurons

An atom's weight of good

2012-02-02T16:19:00.003+08:00

During the old times when Muslims came up with knowledge about the stars, numbers and algebra, they learnt in order to understand God's creations, God's message - and answering the insistent invitation by God in the Quran to see, hear, think, understand.

I am a believer that education should be achieved in order to increase our Faith and to achieve good deeds in making life better for others, our family and ourselves. After all, that is the purpose of our life on earth. Utopian idea, I know.

Anyway, as an example of how knowledge can be taught, in which the lesson learnt has it's roots from the Quran, is as follows. In wanting to understand the ayat:

"And so, he who shall have done an atom's weight of good, shall behold it;
and he who shall have done an atom's weight of evil, shall behold it."
(Az-Zalzalah 99:7-8, Asad's Tr.)

..we can raise the interest in learning about atoms and calculating it - in order for us to see the Greatness of Allah in his Creations - and the meaning of that measurement to our own deeds.

*****

"The shopowner gave us 10 cents extra in change."
"Keep lah, never mind.. it's only 10 cents."

There is no matter too small in good or bad deeds, when Allah has informed us that a deed even the weight of an atom will be accounted for.
Do you know how many atom it takes to make up a 10-cents coin?

25,139,303,859,414,700,000,000 atoms.

References:
http://www.singaporemint.com/fact_coin_floral.php
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cupronickel
http://www.ehow.com/how_8543553_number-atoms-nickel-coin.html

Time out.

2012-02-01T10:00:00.002+08:00

This morning, I signaled to filter into the other lane, in order to exit from the highway. The cab in that lane was far behind. But as soon as I signaled, he bloody picked up speed to block me from coming in. There was still a lot of space in front of him so I gently tried to go ahead of him, but he picked up speed again to block.. I lost my temper and I started using my hands frantically and angrily to tell him that I'm trying to filter OUT DAMN IT! I'M NOT TRYING TO OVERTAKE YOUR EGO! ARRGH!!

I managed to filter in, and get to the other side. As he passed by me and shook his head and his pointed (index) finger like expressing 'tch tch tch, no good.' Bleargh.

I am quite sad, that I succumbed to the anger. Now I'm grouchy... hmm I think I was grouchy since morning - from experiencing the lack of good manners and attitude - and then myself included.

Now I feel like hiding from the world. I need a time-out.

We’re not knowledgeable until we know our Quran

2012-01-31T13:27:00.001+08:00

How do we go on studying everything else, and not know our Quran? And we verbally agree that Quran is THE guide to life.

How do we teach others about life, and not refer to the Quran at all?

How can a Muslim person claim to be knowledgeable but not know the book given to them by God?

The Quran should be the basis of knowledge. And everything else that we learn is to supplement the knowledge, as Allah has asked us to do in the Quran (don’t you see?, don’t you know? don’t you think? don’t you observe?)

You and I say, okay, maybe I (and quite a number of other Muslims) say.. Islam (submission to One God) has the answer to all our current modern problems in the world. How do we even begin to educate the young, about living, without explaining to them the purpose of life?

Quran HAS to be the start to education.

The original purpose of education was to know God, and to know what to do to please God, and then live our lives around that. - Now?

Ya Allah, grant me knowledge that is beneficial. Aamiin.

information or distraction

2012-01-29T14:51:00.006+08:00

Edward Hallowell, a psychiatrist, was quoted in the book (page 81) 'The Lost Art of Reading - David L Ulin', as saying, "We have a generation of people who... are so busy processing information from all directions they are losing the tendency to think and feel. Much of what they are exposed to is superficial. People are sacrificing depth and feeling, and becoming cut off and disconnected from other people."

I hate to think that my blog would be a source of distraction without meaning, in these internet world of information, where information itself is a source of distraction, with no real benefit. Mostly short, some sporadic, without any real and conscious intent to contribute in a positive way, but just as an internet way of saying 'I was here!'.

However, I'm not of the opinion that something important or relevant, must consist of 7000 words at least. Rasulullah SAW, did not say words of advice on specific events that could produce a book - most of it ARE short information - but they are RELEVANT information that if pondered upon and/or acted upon will make us a better person.

I remember how a priest turned Muslim (Dr Jerald) answered the question of one nun, who attended the talk about Early Christianity. The nun asked him to comment about the phrase in the Bible (Joh 30:10) 'I and the Father are one' with regards to Jesus.

His answer was short. 'One. One in what? In body? In mission? In vision?' Then silence.

I felt awed. It was a short answer that demands the questioner to think. Sometimes there is no point, in making a point, if the questioner will not think. The answer was a question that the nun needed to ask herself - about what she truly sincerely know and believe in - in those words.

The problem with current information is not really that it is short - shorter than a book. The issues are that :

a) there are so many information out there, and most people don't bother to be choosy about what they read or take in.
b) they are taking it in like snacks, without much thought, and it does not satiate the intellect. They don't give themselves time and space to absorb, to think, to change/act, before they go on to the next information.

Books help to prolong the time spent to absorb an idea or information - throughout the person reading the book. However if too much opinion and thoughts (of the author) are put forth in the book itself on just an idea - then it's like feeding the reader's mind with ready answers - which is not good. However, in the area of prolonged concentration and focus on a subject - it will do a good job. Hopefully the reader comes out of it with these presented arguments and ideas becoming part of a bigger view on the subject matter, rather than the reader thinking of it as the whole idea.

So what is my take on the vast information available? Firstly, to be choosy about what information we feed our minds with - must be beneficial to us or our community. Secondly and most importantly is to give ourselves time and space to absorb that information, to think and to decide, what we will do about it.

If we receive an information, for which there is nothing we can do to make improvements in any way at all, then, that piece of information is useless.

Did you just finish reading this post? Don't read anything else just yet.

Stop... and ponder first.

.

my thoughts for this morning

2012-01-28T12:58:00.005+08:00

I'm not sure, if we should have 'long term' plans. I mean after all, who knows when our life will end. Especially if our 'long term' plan is only duniawi - it's like a waste of time. Long term achievements should be a sum of our short term achievements - those that we aim to do and achieve today and now. Of course we should plan what we want to do later and tomorrow or next week - but to hope for achievement to come only THEN, rather than doing something and achieving something in the mean time - is like putting it to chance.

The good thing about us, as a servant of Allah SWT, is that Allah rewards us for our efforts - not necessarily the result of our effort. The result, achieved in this lifetime, may be the reward for our effort - or a test. Even happiness is attained more in the effort and the time taken to achieve 'the goal', rather than in the goal itself.

I remembered a talk I saw on Youtube yesterday, about how we are not someone who is surrounded by other things and events - but how we ARE a part of that Nature and Events that is happening around us, and how all of these are a sum of who we are before, now and in the future - which is different overtime.

I hope, I am shaped and made up of a lot of efforts and small achievements.

***

Alhamdulillah, I have managed to book, an Umrah package for the whole family. I am going to look away from the amount that we have to spend to bring my family of 6! 5 of which are already charged for adult prices. Yikes. BUT - all these years, we've been spending on things that don't mean a thing, and we didn't beat an eyelid... so, Ya Allah, do bless us, our efforts, our rezeki and our time for You. Aamiin.

I told the children many times, I think only after we have gone for Umrah as a family and I have performed my Hajj, then am I ok with spending our money to travel anywhere else. So let this year, be a year of Umrah and Hajj, and may Allah give barakah upon our rezeki for other travels next year, insyaAllah.

But you know, the best kind of travels is not to travel as a 'tourist', but to be among other people and cultures and see and experience the life there, in order to make ourselves a better person, someone who is broad-minded, and see in all these, the Signs that Allah SWT has put forth, and as such strengthens our Iman. I hope I can do this somehow, by studying/working part time in some country with my kids in tow. :p Aamiin.

Wishful thinking? I don't know.. Allah has planned our lives for us. I'll just doa and make some small effort, and we'll leave Allah's plans to Him. :)

I have a dream.

2012-01-24T12:13:00.003+08:00

I dream. Of course we start with a dream, and then a plan and action. Thereafter we can, insyaAllah, get what we dream for.

Now, I dream, I am able to memorize the Quran, and to know the meanings as I read it. To achieve this, I need to TRY MY BEST, to hafal at least an ayat a day. Explore an Arabic word a day, based on the ayat that I am memorizing. And then insyaAllah learn Arabic.

Now this one.. is a tough one. If I am single, without a family or I am the head of the family, that'll be easier (a bit) - I'll pack my family and stay somewhere where we can learn arabic for a year.

I saw a course in US, by Bayyinah Institute that I am so interested in - because their objective and methodology of learning Arabic, is really tackled at understanding the Quran. As such it is straight to the point. As I've said before, when you are interested in it, and you really want to know, it's easier for you to learn and grasp it. I don't like the way most Arabic classes are taught now - very linear.. like having to memorise words that I don't care for, such as handkerchief or ustaz or watermelon, banana and apple. We can learn that next time, when we need it. Our children did not learn grammar when they first learn to speak. They learnt how to speak, our grammar (right or wrong), by chance, by usage.

Seriously this whole thing about how our children is being educated and how education is delivered in this modern times is way off the track of true learning and understanding - there is hardly love for the subjects taught. I do not want to be on that track.

But ok.. enough excuses.

p.s. you know, one disadvantage of putting my feelings and thoughts up on the blog is, you all will know how weak I am in discipline. But but but.. on the other hand, maybe that'll be additional motivation to achieve. But, no, no.. i don't want to do it for YOU.. I want to do it lillah. SO, may Allah help me. Aamiin.

not nice

2012-01-23T12:12:00.002+08:00

I have nothing nice to say.

So...

duped

2012-01-15T14:45:00.011+08:00

Yesterday he taught us how to lie our way to being noticed. I chose to ignore that. Today he spoke more about how to oversell yourself and your film project. If it's 20-50-200-500k, just say it's a 'project that is just under a milliion dollars'.

I realise, we've been duped. This will be the last time, I am ever going to another lecture or talk given by some non-Muslim guy from the west. We think he has credibility just because he was from the west??

Seriously now, I am doubting his selling points for this lecture event, because he is always talking about overselling - that's how they do business right? You cannot trust these people. Did Quentin REALLY gained anything from him??? He sells himself as the 'greatest film lecturer' - seriously, I thought the two other film/movie related courses, conducted by a Malay (Jins Shamsudin and Faisal Chal Ahmad) were way much better, honest, relevant and beneficial for me.

Like he said himself, Americans, there are a lot of crap out there, but they are so damn good at advertising. For me, American advertising is basically tricking others into thinking that something is way much better than it really is. Dang.

He also joked (?) that being Jewish, he did wrong by paying for something at retail price. He would always want to buy as cheap as possible. Then the idea is to oversell as high as possible. That's it - make money. You know, as Muslims, we are expected to be honest, and to give and take. There is a particular ayat** on being so calculative about our own measure, and then giving others less than their due measure - it is a sin. So NO! I AM NOT TAKING YOUR ADVICE ABOUT OVERSELLING AND LYING OUR WAY THROUGH.

Then the notes.. pfft the notes are just pieces of information he picks up from the web, prints them and binds them into a plastic booklet.

For today's lecture, he spoke about how to sell our film. Granted, I learned a thing or 2 today, that I can summarise in 2 sentences about press kit. The rest are very irrelevant to us - about sales in America.. I mean c'mon.. if this is going to be our first low budget feature film, what chances does he think we'll have to contact those people in America and sell our films?? He doesn't know the situation in Singapore and our market. He cannot give us relevant information about how to sell our films. I quite sure I can learn much more from Sujimy or Jack Neo (if they hold classes).

Here is another thing that I chose to ignore yesterday, with just good assumptions. When he started the class, he did say, it's all about MONEY. Give him a cheque then he'll talk business. No bullshit about love for movies or anything.. just give him the money and he'll lecture. He's NOT COMING TO SINGAPORE TO TRAIN UP A TERRORIST!! Now, I seriously wonder what on earth he meant by that. I mean seriously, what has Singapore, got to do with terrorism in their world? By the way there were 2 Muslims ladies in the class, including me.

Just now another caucasian female participant was telling me, she will leave half way, cause this man seems to be repeating a lot, and she doesn't like him because he is obnoxious.

I regret having paid for this event - but I'll take it as a mistake, turned into a lesson learnt. No more.. no more courses by bragging mat sallehs after this. Illa masyaAllah.

Then just now he asked if we want certificates for this course. He promises the certificate will look like UCLA certificates - same printer, same paper. Thanks, but no thanks. I left the class at lunch time. By this time, I feel like it's a class about how to cheat people.

Haih.. he is so much older than me la.. 70-71.. and I respect him as a person older than me and that's all. Hish.

**
"WOE UNTO THOSE who give short measure:
those who, when they are to receive their due from [other] people, demand that it be given in full –
but when they have to measure or weigh whatever they owe to others, give less than what is due!"

Mutaffifin 83:1-3 (transliteration by Asad)

soft and loud

2012-01-14T18:18:00.010+08:00

End of 1st day of a two-days film school lecture. Basically talking about how to go ahead and do your first feature film and how to market them. No, you shouldn't do short films because... SHORT FILMS ARE FOR KIDS!! YOU'RE ADULTS!! DO YOUR FIRST FEATURE FILM!!

This is the most erratic lecturer I have ever met. One minute, he is mumbling something, saying something softly - next minute, he is shouting. He claims to have much experience in movie making, and being 71, in life I guess. He doesn't have patience in wanting to say what we want to hear him say. He just says what he wants to say, of which some a blunt truth to me - such as, we don't need film school to make a film. Over 90% of directors who have 'made it', didn't go to film school.

Back to how erratic he is. He was talking about production budgeting, going through the list, "ok, so camera 15-20k, lighting, 6-8k, stunts and effects, that will be '0'. You know why it's 0? It's going to be 0 because YOU ARE NOT BLOODY GOING TO DO IT ON YOUR FIRST FEATURE FILM! KEEP IT SIMPLE! 90 PAGES, 1 LOCATION!! NO STUNTS NO EFFECTS, NONE OF THAT BULLSHIT!
Ok, then we go on to the arts department..."

About lightings.. "Ok so you need lightings, I want to explain to you the 3 point lighting system.. but I don't want you to spend too much time on it because THIS IS NOT A BIG BUDGET MOVIE! THIS IS A NO BUDGET MOVIE AND YOU HAVE A TIGHT SCHEDULE! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO SPEND 4 HOURS ON SETTING UP LIGHTS! LIGHTS ARE NOT IMPORTANT.. NOBODY! NOBODY GOES TO A MOVIE AND DISCUSS ABOUT THE LIGHTS! So.. don't go crazy about the lights.. just 5-10 mins tops to set up the lights."

.....

The why.

2012-01-13T16:07:00.012+08:00

My mom was transferred to normal ward yesterday. She looks like she is getting better. She can sit up longer now, though she is still having her headaches. She said that she can probably get much better if she's at home. I think in some cases it is true - hospitals are just not conducive for quick healing - we should only be there to get us out of danger - after that, when our condition is stable, we should recover in a calm quiet wooden house by the sea...

...or in our own urban homes.

There was a TED talk video* that I saw, that speaks of the correct path to success. (we sorely need to define success properly - and that wealth if related, should only be a branch of success, not success in itself). Anyhow, the path that was spoken of, I find it to be a logical path.

The speaker said, most businesses want to do something (the WHAT), and then they figure out (HOW) to do it. They stop at that.

However a common process, he claims, that all successful businesses have in common is that: first, they think about (WHY) they want to do it, and then (HOW) they can do it best, driven by the WHY - and then they come up with the product (the WHAT). He gave examples of Apple and the Wright brothers.

It's a clear vision and a strong belief that creates a drive for people to react to that vision and belief. It's the shared vision and belief that enables people to want to work together to achieve that clear goal (the WHY).

That is how LIFE should be.

*The TED talk video.

work to earn

2012-01-09T17:05:00.002+08:00

Japan HQ has just started an initiative, allowing employees to share their resolution and determination in their area of work, in the company's internal global website. The HQ may have a great vision that the employees are all so full of determination to see the success of this giant company. But in these times, when retrenchments can happen anytime, just so that the company can cut costs and earn higher profit - it's hard to develop that kind of employee vigour. How do you expect the employees to feel so fired up and loyal to the company when they have seen another colleague of theirs, do the same thing, but was conveniently retrenched when no longer needed.

Determination at work? I am determined to be an truly honest worker - would that be acceptable? Or is it more important to look after the image and the profit of the company?

I guess it could be different in Japan - where the owners with these vision, are. They may look after their employees well there. However here, everyone is employed. Generally, nobody will be sincere enough to acknowledge another person's good work, if it jeapordizes their own position. People basically want to cover their positions - everyone is just trying to survive.

So let's be straight here. I'll come to work and do my part, as a good reliable Muslims worker, within the stipulated time, give and take a few. I have no.. love for the company. I work in a giant company to earn a decent living. Not live to work like crazy for this impersonal giant company.

* You know what.. maybe I am going to log on and indicate that on the global website. "As a Muslim, I am determined to be responsible, trustworthy and honest, in my work."

Friendship

2012-01-07T11:19:00.000+08:00

Friendship is not about demanding for each other's time.
It's not about having to see each other's face.

It is about praying for them in your silent prayers
and respecting their space.

- Madame Blossom -

my mother is not well

2012-01-07T10:37:00.006+08:00

My mom, was admitted to Neuro Intensive Care Unit 2 days ago, for internal head injury. Her skull has a hairline fracture, and there are some bleeding in the brain. Doctor said, some damage have been done, but they don't know what yet. I hope, the critical period is over. She seems stable. She can move her limbs and she can talk. I'm not so sure about her memory though. Sometimes she thinks she is at home. I'm not sure, and I pray to God, it won't be, but I'm prepared for that to get worse.

She doesn't look that good, and she feels uncomfortable sometimes, she's not looking so dignified. She's giddy and she don't feel like talking all the time. As such, I have asked friends and family who know, to just pray for her. Don't need to come visit.

I know it's a good deed to visit the sick. But then, I'm quite sure, that is only so, if it makes the sick happy. And I'm sure, that only applies to the close ones, who can come, help take care of them. Not those who are not that close in the first place, who needs to be entertained with answers to questions about how, when, what, and why. Really, must the sick and family feel obliged to entertain and to repeat the story 10 times a day? So instead of letting the sick rest, and the close family tend to the sick one, both the sick and the family has to attend to the visitors? (UNLESS that makes the sick happy).

That is why, for ME myself, putting myself in that position, I opt not to visit a sick friend's parents, or anyone, I'm not close to. I will visit a family or friend, who I guess I can cheer up or comfort.

Okay, maybe it's just me. That's how I would feel lah. If I'm sick, I just want to rest and be alone. But then again, even when I'm not sick i sometimes just want to be alone. Oh well.

Okay, today, I'm going to ask my mother, if SHE wants to be visited, or who she would like us to tell. Then, I will only inform those that she is comfortable to see.

Now, everyone else, do sincerely join me in the doa, that my mom will get well and bright again, and that Allah SWT forgives her sins and make her a good Muslimah. Aamiin.

Update:
*My mom said, it's okay for people to visit her. But now she's fast asleep. :p

news, grouse and a good ending

2012-01-04T20:19:00.008+08:00

I find myself feeling reluctant to allow my daughter to read The New Paper, or any newspapers for that matter. News these days are just mostly bad, lies, or useless, for them.

To improve her English, she can always read books. Non-fiction would be better. Something that can actually inspire them to do something good for others and for themselves.

.

Singapore, and the world, it's humanity, graciousness, honesty, morality, sincerity, going downward spiral.

.

I want to live in a small self sufficient village. (with broadband).

.
Oh yes, in the last post I said I watched akiro kurosawa's Dreams - most of the scenes are of nature, barren land, a small quiet village - it was... how shall I describe it... quiet? The film also provokes thoughts, and I was able to ponder about it, absorb the idea and the message because the scenes were slow paced and... yes quiet.

Right after that film, they showed a trailer of some Western film - a woman talking loudly, then, a scene in a club with music, drinking, crowd, noise.. MasyaAllah.. what a total difference! I felt so irked by it, I turned off the TV immediately.

But a lot of us have gotten used to this fast paced, noisy, crowded, lives and images, with little physical, sound, and mental space to really observe and think, quietly.

Speaking of which, alhamdulillah, alhamduilillah! this morning, I managed to spend a quiet morning, alone. Swam in the pool, alone, stayed a while and enjoyed the peace and quiet of a weekday, when the others are at work or in school. Staying still, just looking at the sky, the trees, the birds. Feeling the wind, the warmth of the sunshine taking turns with the cooler shade of the clouds as they pass.
Subhanallah - Nature.

Akira Kurosawa's dreams

2012-01-01T18:56:00.009+08:00

Just watched Akira Kurosawa's - Dreams. A series of 8 dreams (shorts), but I only managed to catch the last 5.

It seems to me that this man has a message that he wants to send out to his audience. The kind of artist I like - one with a vision and mission.

From the last 5 that I watched, he spoke of man's stupidity in having wars and in destroying nature. Man forgets that he is part of nature, yet he destroys the very same nature that supports his livelihood.

I love the simplicity of the stories and dialogues. My 2 favourite ones among the last 5, are 'Crows' and 'The Village of Water Mills'

In Crows, I love how the man goes through the paintings, and the appreciation of Nature. Pretty - beautiful.

In The Village of Water Mills - I like the dialogue between the travelling man and the Old Man. An excerpt, and among my favourite parts of the dialogue..

Man : But what about lights?

Old Man : We have candles and linseed oil.

Man: But night is so dark.

Old Man : Yes, that is how night is suppose to be. Why should night be as bright as day? I wouldn't like nights so bright, you couldn't see the stars.

LOVE.

There is also the idea of people doing something and not knowing why they do it - with regards to putting flowers on a stone. Interesting thought of something that is really happening.

Another short story/dream is the 'Weeping Demon'. Actually it is a scary image and thought. It tells of men who turns into demons with horns on their head, after a nuclear disaster. The horns hurts so badly at night, they demons wish they'd die. But their punishment is immortality - having to live through the pain and suffering forever. This reminds me of what Allah tells us, in the Quran about Hell. (nothing, though, can compare to real Hell, which is beyond our perception. naudzubillah.)

but as for those who are lost in iniquity - their goal is the Fire: as oft as they will try to come out of it, they will be thrown back into it; and they will be told, “Taste [now] this suffering through fire which you were wont to call a lie!”

As-Sajdah 32:20

"He who [in the life to come] shall have to endure the great fire
wherein he will neither die nor remain alive. "

Al A'laa 87:12-13

Naudzubillah.

Ya Allah, please do save us from the great Punishment in the Hereafter. For You are the Most Merciful. Aamiin, ya Robbal A'lamiin.

Like and Unlike

2011-12-29T08:00:00.002+08:00

The possible/appropriate meanings of 'Like' in FB:
a) I agree with your post/comment.
b) I like the post/comment.
c) I was entertained by the post/comment.

Questionable or inappropriate uses of 'Like' in FB:
a) On a post announcing the death of someone.
b) On a post informing of some misfortune.
b) On a post that you don't understand or doesn't make any sense.

And 'Unlike' means 'different'. It does not mean that you change your mind about liking something - no matter how persistently FB uses it that way.

But then again.. man-made languages are like that right. For all you know, that twisted meaning will creep itself into the dictionaries because of persistent usage. Oh well.

Make courtesy our way of life

2011-12-22T10:36:00.002+08:00

I don't understand why it's so difficult to find the lyrics to an old (1980's) national courtesy campaign song, on the web.
Shouldn't it exist in any one of the many government websites?

Anyway, before I lose again, here it is.
I'm not sure how the whole original song goes but here's my arrangement:

Courtesy is for free
Courtesy is for you and me.
It makes for gracious living and harmony
Giving a friendly smile
Helping out where we can
We should try to be polite all the time

Courtesy is for free
Courtesy is for you and me.
It makes for gracious living and harmony
Living could be a treat
If people are awfully sweet
Courtesy could be our way of life

It is rude to be abusive, just to prove we're right
Instead we could be nice about it if we tried

Courtesy is for free
Courtesy is for you and me.
It makes for gracious living and harmony
Living could be a treat
If people are awfully sweet
Courtesy could be our way of life

Let us make courtesy our way of life.

Re-arranged by Madame Blossom.
Let's record this and make a music video.

ombak bergelora

2011-12-21T10:46:00.004+08:00

Alhamdulillah aku belum tonton Ombak Rindu. Setelah membaca pandangan seorang penonton (yang memberi sokongan pada filem itu), aku rasa tak ingin. Aku menyesal juga baca tulisannya kerana dengan itu, aku dah terbaca tentang beberapa 'sexy bedroom scenes', berserta gambar, yang aku tak dapat terima sebagai seorang Islam dan Melayu. Islam dan Melayu yang aku anggap sangat beradab dan bersopan.

Sejujur-jujurnya, korang selesa ke dengan adegan2 tu? DOSA tu tak payah nak cakaplah - sudah terang dan pasti.

Setelah kita asyik sumbatkan otak-otak orang-orang awam, termasuk anak-anak remaja kita, dengan adegan2 'sexy', malah dalam filem2 Melayu juga, dengan bodohnya kita hairan, kenapa semakin banyak masalah dan jenayah sex yang berleluasa di kalangan orang-orang kita.

Ini adalah antara sebab2 kenapa aku selalu kecewa sangat dengan kebanyakan filem2 Melayu. Kurang keaslian dan lemah dalam pendirian. Asyik nak 'daring' macam orang barat, dengan mengikut anggapan 'sex sells'.

The Science of Authenticity

2011-12-20T08:25:00.004+08:00

The Science of Authenticity is a greatly needed subject in the modern world where lies and deceit are rampant.

This subject exists in Islamic studies where scholars are required to determine if hadith (stories of the sayings and actions of the Prophet SAW) are indeed authentic (sahih) - in order to avoid new practises or beliefs based on hearsay.

When I was studying U'lum Hadith - the Science of Hadith - I was very much amazed at the level of scrutiny the scholars of old, did on each hadith. Each informant of the hadith must be accounted for - until it reaches Rasulullah SAW. Alhamdulillah, by the 3rd to 5th lines of informant, people have begun to write books, and copies of these books exist to this day. E.g. Imam Malik's 'Muwatta', and Imam Bukhari's 'Sahih Bukhari'.

Not only does each informant have to be accounted for - their morale values and personalities are also studied. Are they known to be forgetful (even if it's a single word that he forgets)? Are they sincere and honest (even to animals)?

Those old scholars have very very good memory. (If they sit for any exams now, I'm sure they'd get full marks.) Imam Bukhari was known to have memorised tens of thousands of hadiths - and he memorised each word and the names of each informant for the hadith and their traits. And of course, he memorised the whole Quran too.

Subhanallah. I'm not sure if there is anyone in the current times who can come as close, to his knowledge, intelligence and ability.

One thing common in these people of knowledge is that they are humble. Personally for me, if I meet someone who seems intelligent, but he is arrogant - I don't believe he has gained that much knowledge yet.

I believe that if someone has truly attained the desired level of intelligence and knowledge - he would naturally be humble. He would realise that his knowledge is still a meagre of the whole knowledge that is available on the earth, and not to mention, universe. He knows and he feels it, that these knowledge can only come from Allah SWT.

Noted - I digressed a bit.

old people

2011-12-18T09:34:00.001+08:00

you think old people are boring and stupid?
you think they were never young before?
you think they have not seen, thought of, or did
the stupid things that you are doing now?
you think they don't know why and how?
how infantile your mind is
if you can't see beyond this.

~madame blossom~

Moon River

2011-12-17T10:29:00.003+08:00

Once upon a time, English songs used to be sweet and decent.
Now they are mostly loud and vulgar.

Moon River, wider than a mile,
I'm crossing you in style some day.
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,
wherever you're going I'm going your way.

Two drifters off to see the world.
There's such a lot of world to see.
We're after the same rainbow's end--
waiting 'round the bend,
my huckleberry friend,
Moon River and me.

Things to do (Dec 2011)

2011-12-16T13:41:00.004+08:00

Very soon, that month year is going to look like it's been a long time ago. That is how fast time leaves us.

At the speed of time. A phrase that I suddenly thought of. Shall ponder about it later.

I'm mentally arranging the list of things that I need/want to accomplish within 1-2 months. Then I thought, why not jot it down here. By the way, I'm not feeling well today. On medical leave. Still, I'm psyching myself up to get some things done. I did 1 round of laundry. Yeay me!

Ok, list of things to accomplish in order of (current) priority.

1) Read up the book on Balaghah. Then, write a paper on this subject, submit to the college in order to get my Diploma. Alhamdulillah, they are giving me a chance to do that. So I MUST!
2) Go through the editing of 'Madame Blossom's Book of Poems'. Look out for that. I don't know yet if I'll find a publisher or self publish.
3) Work on the script 'Personal Business'
4) Work on the story of 'Pasrah'

Ok.. let's leave it at that first. I don't want to be overwhelmed. I don't even know when I will finish that 1st task on the list. Take it easy, but not too slow. Hope to take it at the speed of time.

I don't like

2011-12-15T08:30:00.010+08:00

I ~~hate~~ don't like :

surprises (unless they are certain(!) what I like.)
my nails, long
detours (except during / for leisure)
sudden changes in routine
hair on my face
too much food
talking crap
trophies and plaques
working at least 8 hours a day to make someone one I don't know rich
mindless and endless entertainments on TV
FB and Twitter (it's like a stupidity drug - must control access)
sound of television (unless I'm watching - which is rare)
rude children
company dinners with programmes to make a fool out of employees
in fact, any off office hours company gatherings without family (haven't you taken enough time from us already?)
thoughtless souvenirs and doorgifts (adding to the world rubbish)
my failure to discipline myself
my inability to quickly adapt to domestic needs + working
stolen time - stolen by the quest for money

Right. These are the unplugged, spur of the moment thought, of the things I ~~hate~~ don't like.

Ya Allah, grant me patience and perseverance. Aamiin.

rebel with a reason

2011-12-14T19:36:00.006+08:00

I posted this on FB

"Those who found Islam, not born Muslim, like to call themselves a 'REVERT' rather than a 'CONVERT' because they believe that finding Islam, is returning to the true nature of man - that is to submit to the ONE God.

Tattooed or pierced - masyaAllah.. that didn't stop him from being a better Muslim that a lot of born Muslims."

There's something else I wanted to say about this man. The other thing that I find interesting is that before he con.. REVERTED, he was a rebellious young man. He was a heavy metal punk musician, and he wrote songs about things he was rebelling about. He was angry about the state of his society. He questioned life. He was sure there is something more to it than just property, money, and wealth.

The point is, he had a stand. He wasn't doing stuff because he is following the crowd, trying to fit in or just plain vain.

I wish a lot of our Malay artistes or singers have something they stand for, that they want to share through their work and their songs. Then, to me, they have essence and substance. I admire singers who write their own songs to spread an idea or message. Of course the good ones. Even if they cannot write their own songs - they are choosy about the songs they sing.

I don't care much about singers who sing other people's songs, with no thought of their own. Those who become artistes not because they see it as a platform to do something good - but just as an opportunity to make money, be famous or be vain. :-|

introvert

2011-12-13T23:01:00.004+08:00

Here are 10 myths about an introvert from Carl Kingdom of which #1, 2, 5, 6, 7, 8 - I feel, describes me. (you need to click on the link to read. Yes. that's it.)

I'm not sure if I AM an introvert though. Last time I had some kind of simple test during some company course, about 10-15 years ago, I think I was categorised as an introvert-extrovert. Whatever that means. Ok... these are all labels made up by man.. Anyhow.. I just thought I'd post this for myself and for you, in case you wonder or want to understand why I am the way I am.

Yes, maybe that's why introverts are better on blogs.. because they can talk about what interests them or is important to them - without having to put up with small talks or talks about other things they don't care much for.

The USS story

2011-12-13T11:01:00.003+08:00

So finally I managed to convince my parents to come along with us to Universal Studios Singapore. My mom, cannot walk long distance. Her legs would hurt. I promised her I'll rent a wheelchair to push her around.

What came as a good blessing to that is, people on wheelchairs + 3 accompanying people get Express Access to rides! Haha. So my mum was coaxed into getting on a few rides, just so that we can get Express access. :p But we didn't make her go on the Mummy ride, Cylon or Human. The older kids got the Express tickets because of the crowd. It was worth it. An Express ticket, entitles you to the Express lane, but only once per ride. They went about on their own.

So when we arrived, the first ride we took was a Madagascar indoor boat ride - i forgot the name of the ride. Three quarter through the ride, the sound system broke down, and these mechanical characters were just moving about without accompanying music or dialogues. Needless to say, the ride was closed down for repair right after that. We were glad anyway that we managed to complete that ride.

Then we went for a few other rides and attractions, had our lunch and after that went for the newly opened Transformer ride. The Transformer ride was good! The ride itself is quite mild, with a few jerks here and there. It's the 4D scenes and effects that were awesome. As the ride was about to end and we were about to reach the alighting bay, the whole ride broke down. We were stuck in the capsule for about 10-15 minutes before they finally decide to let us out of the capsule and walk on the track. My mom survived the big step down from the capsule and the 15m walk to the exit. Alhamdulillah we were near the exit. So.. that ride also closed down for repairs right after that.

We were planning to go on the Battlestar Galactica rides (Cylon & Human). After the two breakdowns - we were not so sure. We had our solat and coffee breaks. We stayed around until night time. Finally hubby and I, did take the Battlestar Galactica rides - yes both of them - thanks to our children coaxing us to do so. It was.. hmm. crazy but fun. I nearly lost my voice. The older kids had gone on the two rides 7-8 times in total.

All in all, everyone had a great day at USS yesterday, alhamdulillah.

I won't be going there again anytime soon - unless we get free tickets. After a while you do find that it's all the same old thing, you know.

As I walked out of one of the last rides, I thought to myself, masyaAllah, subhanallah - how God granted knowledge and creativity to these people to invent such rides and experiences. Some quite amazing. Can't help wonder and thinking about how much more amazing Reality must be. Subhanallah.

why shouldn't I work for the NSA

2011-12-07T21:43:00.003+08:00

I'd like to look for a local actor who can carry out something like this..

One of my favourite scenes, from one of my favourite movies.

nauseous

2011-12-06T19:00:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I think of FB and Twitter and I get nauseous.

showing appreciation

2011-12-06T16:05:00.005+08:00

One day, the boss of a manufacturing company that produces paper weights decides to get 3 brand new expensive cars for his employees. He asks his secretary to give it to Employee A, B & C.

Employee A receives the car without a word of gratitude whatsoever. He comes to work late now. Once, he even smashed the potted plants outside the office with the given car, and showed no remorse whatsoever.

Employee B is very grateful for the car. Every time he passes by the boss and his secretary, he would greet both of them, then say thank you to the secretary for the car. When the secretary reminds Employee B that the car was a gift from the boss and not her, he would tell the secretary to relay the gratitude to the boss for him, ignoring the boss who is right in front of him.

Employee C is very grateful for the car too. He doesn't thank the secretary. He doesn't thank the boss either. He buys the paper weight that the company manufactures, puts it on his desk, and everyday after greeting the boss, he turns to the paper weight to say to it, 'thank you for the car'.

What do you think of Employee A, B and C?
Have they shown due respect and gratitude to their boss for the gifts?

she didn't make an effort?

2011-12-06T14:35:00.001+08:00

Any person in a situation is not a simple matter. How easy it is for us to accuse the mother of not making an effort to register her daughter for kindergarten.

What people don't know is, the mother cannot speak English much, and therefore have very very low confidence and courage to speak to the principal or school administrator about it. It doesn't help when the school administrator speaks in such a condescending manner to the mother when she has to communicate with them.

The mother is very dependent on the father to arrange these matters. However father may also not be familiar or confident enough to fill up the complicated forms. Yes, it may be simple to us, but complicated to them. In fact, sometimes it's complicated even to us, what more to them?

On top of that, the father is working as a security officer, and his boss may be the bossy type who doesn't allow employees to take leave without 6 months prior notice - and he is afraid of losing his job. He is even afraid to ask his boss (haven't you ever been apprehensive about asking your boss for urgent leave before?)

Even if they have managed to fill up the forms, she will need to go find a shop that will photocopy her documents for her (e.g. IC, birth certs), and she has 2 toddlers and 2 babies to bring along. She doesn't have taxi money to conveniently do that. She wouldn't dare ask the school to do it - they may scold her for not preparing her documents.

It can be quite a daunting effort for the mother to navigate through all these difficulties to 'make an effort to register her daughter for kindergarten'. Of course, all these can be avoided, if the school itself is helpful enough to help photocopy and fill up the form for her and then ask her to bring missing documents, if any, to complete her registration.

Actually it's the school who didn't make an effort to help her, when they are in the capacity to do that.

win-win

2011-12-02T10:45:00.002+08:00

Self reminder:

Our responsibility is to share the message or give advice. It's God's authority to give guidance, by His grace, to the person receiving the advice.

In the same manner, it is our responsibility to do our best in the job we are working on. It's Allah's authority and decree whether it will reap success or face failure, in order to test us. So as long as we are sincere in our effort, fret not about the outcome so much. Know that our efforts with good intentions, are already rewarded. Success, if it follows, is a bonus.

But then again, bonus can also come in another form - that is in our patience and perseverance when faced with failure.

As long as we are sincere in our efforts, insyaAllah, it can always be a win-win situation for us, in our Record Book.

What is your religion?

2011-11-30T16:40:00.002+08:00

Is it rude to ask someone what their religion is?

Or perhaps that's not exactly the issue. Maybe it's better to ask, what they believe in. Who do they worship?
God? do they create partners for God? Or do they worship the world instead?

Maybe elaborating the question is uncalled for? That's like nagging already - if the person has not answered the first question.

It seems to me that discussion about faith and religion is like a taboo in Singapore. People feel like it's very private. Or they feel ashamed to talk about it.. or they don't really think about it in the first place.

Why change?

2011-11-29T10:39:00.001+08:00

Sometimes for the sake of 'change' that is the 'in' thing in the 'modern' world now, organisations feel obliged to change their process and system after a while, EVEN IF it is/was working well for the organisation. Sometimes, the newly changed system even complicates the work flow and the outcome is worse than before. Then they assign manpower to resolve these newly created issues and try to work around them with some manual or off-the-system work.

This happens even in big organisations. You know actually, it's in big organistions that these things are more likely to happen. The bigger the organisation, the harder it is for.. someone.. to manage quality. Sincere quality. Everyone is employed to carry out their duties - it's not their money that they are spending anyway, it's the company's and what's the point of making a point, if the leaders don't understand, and you're only jeopardising your position in the organisation by having a point that goes against the 'flow'. Nobody likes surprises in the organisation. They just want to get their day over and done with. So let's just let whatever it is, come and go. And so the monster organisation's expenditure and the quest for ~~GREED!~~ growth, grows bigger without real thought.. it's just a glob growing out of control, contributing to even more wastage, greed and invisible evil in the world.

I digressed.

Back to 'change'. Why fix it if it's not broken? Why change your furniture if it's not broken?
Why lay off people if you can afford to give them the means to support themselves through the job you are providing? (digressed a bit again.)
WHY?

Can you see all these people getting carried away in the gushing stream of illusions of modernity?

the strong, the weak, and me

2011-11-28T13:20:00.003+08:00

A person's feelings are very complex. When people react, they are not reacting to THE situation alone, but to a series of situations that they went through, which may or may not be related to the situation at hand.

It takes quite a lot of mental and emotional strength to withhold it from being expressed inappropriately, in terms of time, place, intensity or method. I guess that's why people say, it takes a strong man to walk away from a fight (a strong lady to walk away or ignore an argument or mindless comments that may hurt).

If we're weak, we will fall into the situation very easily, without any resistance. The strong ones, will be able to keep their cool.

I'm still working on it - keeping my cool and totally ignoring the noises - without being too hard on myself... because I know, Allah is Oft-Forgiving because He loves me. Aamiin.

"Hi. I want to be Muslim."

2011-11-25T17:47:00.003+08:00

If a person comes up to us and says that he wants to be Muslim. What would we do? Do we tell him to look up Darul Arqam, Singapore on the internet? Do we tell him to come back another day, because the mosque office is closed? Or do we look at the tattoo on his arms and tell him that we don't think he can do that?

NO.

We should ask him for confirmation, if he believes in One God. Next if he believes that Muhammad SAW is the slave and Messenger of God. When the answers to both are 'yes' to both - ask him to bear witness verbally in Arabic, to what he just said he believes. (Saying the syahadah). Alhamdulillah, he is Muslim.

T-H-E-N, you can direct him to people or places where he can learn about Islam further, e.g. Darul Arqam.

to invite graciously

2011-11-22T07:02:00.001+08:00

Invite (all) to the Way of thy Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious: for thy Lord knoweth best, who have strayed from His Path, and who receive guidance

An Nahl 16:125 (transliteration by Yusof Ali) .

Woman's picture and sexism

2011-11-21T05:45:00.011+08:00

So, just now (I know it's early.. I had to send my daughter to school by 5am, thus the extra early morning)... yup, just now, I opened FB, (Why do we feel the need to open FB everytime we are at the computer?? anyway..). and a photographer friend, posted a picture of a woman dressed in short night dress, seated hugging her knees, revealing almost all of her legs, and looking far with a tinge of smile. Then a guy commented on the photo, "very nice expression! its like; 'where can i find the love of my life' =D". A lady replied, "yeah, because what every woman's life ultimately revolves around is finding the one. ‎...you know i was being sarcastic right, xxx? because you made such a sexist assumption about the photo?"

I found that interesting.

I, of course, am against sexism in the sense that women are being exploited like that. (..but on the topic of sexist, there is a whole lot of other points to consider - I'm not totally against sexism). Actually it went through my mind as I was looking at the picture, before reading the comments, why more often than not, it's always a woman and not a man's photo? In this particular case, why do women, in the first place, agree to be photographed as an 'object of desire'. And then this lady is unhappy that the guy commented like that? (he was not even talking about something closer to the subject of sex.. which is the ultimate message )

I mean.. WHAT on earth (other than seeking a mate) COULD a sexy picture mean? It'd be interesting to know what thoughts the lady think, could be the explaining expression in that picture. Perhaps, "Oh, how I miss my mother." or "I wish I had been nicer to the old lady crossing the road yesterday." "Aaah.. work later. I love work."?

I posted that comment - about the other possible thoughts. I thought twice about commenting, decided to do it and let her think about it. And I seriously would like to know what her thoughts are. That is of course, if she knows I was being sarcastic.

the mental disability

2011-11-17T13:10:00.000+08:00

Inability to THINK rationally and make informed judgements and statements, is a common disability in the current world where information fed to the public are framed, sporadic and has no real truth or meaning. What most of these fed 'information' aims to do is to market an opinion, to be imprinted into the minds of those with this mental disability.

Ya Allah, save us from this disease. Aamiin.

getting interested

2011-11-14T18:05:00.001+08:00

Sometimes we wonder, right? How come all these new reverts to Islam, in their stories about their conversion to Islam, you can see how sure and determined they are about their choosing Islam, and how much MORE they want to spread the message of Islam, than us born-Muslims.

How is that so?

It's quite obvious it's because they FOUND and UNDERSTOOD Islam. They made a conscious choice. Whereas born-Muslims, we don't even think about it. Some of us are just doing things like robots, we don't even know why we do the things we do in Islam.
But reverts, they are INTERESTED in the religion and therefore they are learning more about Islam. That would be quite natural, to be able to learn about something you're truly interested in, more easily and in a shorter period of time.

So, we born-Muslims, I think we need to start questioning ourselves about our own faith and how much we know about our own religion. Once you're eager to learn, and you do, you will find the beauty of Islam. And after that time, you really MEAN it when you say, 'Thank you Allah, for making us Muslims.'

The lost generation

2011-11-14T16:43:00.002+08:00

Just now I was reading this article from National Geographic about the "Lost fortresses of Sahara revealed". MasyaAllah, it reminds me of a number of verses in the Quran which speaks of generations destroyed. One close example to this article is found in Al Anaam.

"See they not, how many a generation We destroyed before them, whom We had established in the earth more firmly than We have established you, and We shed on them abundant showers from the sky, and made the rivers flow beneath them. Yet we destroyed them for their sins, and created after them another generation."
6:6 Al-Anaam (transliteration by Pickthall).

And even we, with our so called advancement in computers and technology, and sadly, evil too - who will save us from the wrath of Allah SWT, if He wants to destroy us?

Ya Allah, do guide us, and save us from your Torment. آمين

Aamiin (آمين), Amiin (أمين), and Amin (أمن).

2011-11-13T08:36:00.011+08:00

Sometimes, I feel the need to spell out in Arabic, because as you may be aware there are accuracy issues when spelling out in roman letters. E.g. in Arabic, there is the س and ص and in roman letters, we'd just indicate that as 's'. Then sometimes, it has to do with identifying between مين or من , some people will simply put 'min' some people may put 'miin' but do all people who read it understand what that is suppose to mean? (no pun intended). And these, read wrongly, changes the intended meaning.

Yesterday, I was thinking about Aamiin. I had the urge to be sure, and find out more about this word I'm uttering daily. Aamiin - this is how I'm going to spell it in roman letters from now o, or maybe just use the clearer Arabic word itself. Previously, I've always spelt it as Ameen. Anyway, I have just learnt the differences :-\.

Aamiin, In Arabic alphabets is spelled as آمين. Amiin ( أمين ), has a different meaning. It means ''honest or trustworthy' like Rasulullah SAW, was known as Al Amiin, the trustworthy. If it's just Amin (أمن), it means 'peace, secure'.

Whereas aamiin (آمين ), when I checked the Mawrid (المورد), it indicates the English word 'Amen'. I'm not surprised, I can understand how they mean the same thing - these people's original religion, is the one religion of the same God. So, anyway, Amen, in the English dictionary, shows the meaning to be 'so be it'. As in 'May God make it be.'

So, that's what I understand of Aamiin now.

Allahua'lam. الله أعلم (Allah knows best).

:-\

2011-11-11T10:59:00.001+08:00

Astaghfirullah.

I'm not sure. Do I sound arrogant in my updates or my emails or my replies by text?
Or even in person?

Sometimes, maybe I feel too eager to share my thoughts. Making effort to be firm in my principles. I sound arrogant?
Which is why sometimes, I don't like talking to people. I don't want to talk too much and say things the wrong way.
I hate feeling like this. If there is any tinge of arrogance in my heart, Ya Allah, please take it away.

Silence is virtue.

Abis.. kalau orang berbual dengan kita? Kalau orang tanya? How?
Haih.. please do forgive me, if I take a while to respond.
And I don't really like talking in person, because it doesn't give me much time to think about how to respond in the best way.
But if you do talk to me in person, and I am quiet, please know that I'm just trying my best.

If I have nothing good to say, I'll try to be quiet.
But what if there is something you feel is good, that you want to share?

Or, is this the work of syaitan the avowed enemy? Putting doubts in efforts to share what I sincerely believe is a positive idea? I only believe it's a positive idea lah, but Allah knows best.

Take a measured step, madame. In everything you say or do.
It's a constant struggle, but I'll try my best.
Ya Allah, help me.

elusive decision makers

2011-11-10T10:54:00.001+08:00

It's sad, how petty we need to be
over written confirmations of something agreed on.
Everybody needs to cover their ______s.

Some bosses, who are paid big sums to MAKE decisions,
are pushing the responsibility and ownership
to their subordinates.

If something good happens, they take credit
if something bad happens, they push the blame.
How did these people get to be up there?

Read that Book.

2011-11-09T15:17:00.006+08:00

"Have you ever read the Bible?"
"Yeah, in church. You know, we all read the Bible in church... and we did have Bible studies, we'd read a few passages and talk for 2 hours about those few passages"
"No, no no, I mean have you ever read it, like a book, from beginning to end?"
"Oh. No.. I don't know anybody who has ever read it from beginning to end."
"But this is the word of God, this is our instructions on earth, so why haven't we read it?"
"You know, that's a very good question."
"Let us read the Bible. Let us see what God has to say to us...and start from Genesis 101."
"You're right. That's very good. I have a lot of time on my hands... why not? Let's read the Bible."
"We should not think of anything that we've ever heard of about Christianity. Let's say, like we had just found the Bible in the desert and just open it, and start reading it, and see what is says to me.. let it talk to us."
(Excerpts from a conversation of two Christians guys. One of them, became a Muslim.)

What about us, Muslims? Have we read the Quran from beginning to end? Possibly in Arabic and understanding it lah. But if you don't understand arabic - then read the transliteration of the Quran, from beginning to end. Try to read the transliteration of more than one translators.

I imagine doing this with The Quran. That is, imagining that you're in the desert, and suddenly you find this Book. This Book of Guidance. And you read it. I am quite sure, it'll have me at 'Bismillah'. And I'm quite sure also, that for me, by the end of the 5th verse of the 2nd surah, I would be in awe, and truly believe that this is indeed a book of Guidance, from God.

bertahan..

2011-11-04T15:52:00.002+08:00

Tiap hari aku terdengar bisikanmu
Tiap kali kau cuba menggoda ku
Tapi kau tetap akan ku lawan
Sampai mati aku bertahan.

Setan betul.

Semuga aku kuat
untuk terus berjihad
Sampai ke akhir hayat.
Ameen.

Travelling with the Tangerine and Ibn Battutah

2011-11-02T09:01:00.004+08:00

I don't have enough wealth and capacity to travel around the world physically. I've resorted to reading travel books.

I've just finished my travels with Tim Mackintosh-Smith, from Morocco to Turkey, from 1300s to current time.

It's great. :) Will write more if time, mind and Allah permits. Got to go to work now!

Technology immigrant

2011-11-01T19:41:00.006+08:00

I was just reading a book where the author mentioned 'speaking in telegram language'. I laughed. Suddenly I realise I am that old enough to understand that, and to have been through the transformation from our old pen and paper days into our current modern world. MasyaAllah!

I have been through snail mails (I had a pen pal when I was a young girl) , typewriters with carbon papers (after A levels I did a short stint as a receptionist cum secretary), telex! This was actually like hard copy e-mails. Basically you send messages electronically to an assigned country code + 5 digit address. But you're charged by number of characters, and the messages received are immediately printed letter by letter on 5 copy carboned and colorful papers. So when we send out telexes, we try to shorten the message and the words as much as we can (much like how ppl are texting now). I remember being good at it. It was fun actually.

Then came the black with green text computers, and Lotus1-2-3 spreadsheets.

Then slowly personal computers made an appearance. But only certain important people had it. When my current company started using emails, I still remember how excited my boss was. "Ok ok.. you send to me already is it? I check. Yes I got it! " Fast forward 15 years, now we're swarmed with emails.

I feel like I'm forever the immigrant of new technologies.

p.s. When I was about 9 or 10, I remember bapak bringing home a machine with green texts. He told me we can write commands and ask the machine to do stuff. I didn't realise then it was a very simple computer. My father, always picking up new technologies. Even today, sometimes he will be the one excited over some new computer or phone application, asking me to try it. :D My bapak.

No mood, no point

2011-10-31T19:38:00.004+08:00

When I am in no mood, I don't see the point of watching a movie at the theatre, especially at midnight. I'd rather sleep on my comfortable bed. I don't see the point of eating out. I don't see the point of talking over nothing important or concrete.

Ok takde mood for anything now. I want to sleep early.

After I burn 9 DVDs
- if I can catch the slippery mood.

Hud 11:6

2011-10-30T21:28:00.007+08:00

"There is no moving creature on earth but it's sustenance depend on Allah; He knoweth the time and place of it's definite abode and it's temporary deposit: all is in a clear Record."

That second part of the ayat reminds me of (wallahu a'lam,who knows.. may be..) the mechanics of quantum physics, where particles are said to have a definite position and velocity at any one moment - however scientists have a problem in identifying or knowing both attributes. .

to be

2011-10-27T12:45:00.004+08:00

This morning, I was in my car, sending my two younger girls to school. It was about 7.10am on PIE towards Changi, before BKE exit. The road was wet. I was in Lane 2. There was another light coloured car, bigger than mine, most cars are, 1-2 meters ahead of me in Lane 1. A big motorcycle, about 750cc maybe, was on my right. It overtook my car, and was just about to overtake the light coloured car, when he appeared to brake suddenly and drop on my side of the lane. It was too late to stop. In fact I didn't have time to think about stopping. I swerved a little to the left to avoid the motorbike. I felt the front wheel of my car went over something about the size of a man's clenched fist (about the SIZE OF, I'm quite sure it's not the man's clenched fist).

"Ya Allah! Ya Allah!" I drove on, in a daze, shocked. When I looked through my rear view mirror, I saw that the cars were almost coming to a stop and slowly avoiding the motorcyclist.

Nadhrah beside me was also in shock. She let out a few big sighs. All along the way, as I drove slowly, I was arguing with myself in my head that I should have stopped, but how could I have stopped further down on the expressway? And I couldn't just make a U-turn. And there was heavy traffic on the other side. I kept on driving.

By the time we reached school, I had calmed myself down and my girls too. I was quite sure the rider did not suffer any major injuries. He was not fast, he did not skid far, he was not hit. He just dropped.

I went back, hoping to see nothing on the road where it happened just now. Before I reached the spot that is on the other side of the road, I saw an ambulance passing. It didn't seem to be in a hurry. Then, at the spot, I saw a tow truck and 1 or 2 lanes closed. I got worried. I wasn't sure what I should do.

Be a civic minded person for heaven's sake! I SAW what happened, maybe the guy is unconscious and the family wants to know what happened. What if something worse happened after I left? Surely they want to know from a 1st witness. I was not at peace. But what if I have to go down to the station? I don't have that much leave to apply for. This is not right. I should listen to my heart and my conscience. I should just shut up and call.

I called Traffic Police Hotline and got the investigating officer's number. I called him to inform him that I was at the scene and to check on the motorcyclist condition.

"PIE got 3 accidents, which one?" he asked. The one with the motorcyclist. He said there were 2. I said the one that's about 7.10am before BKE. He said, "Oh, that one, motorcycle skidded and drop." Then how's the motorcyclist? The officer said that he was brought to hospital. For minor injuries? Yes, he said. The officer asked, 'you just want to check if he is in hospital is it? Yes he was brought to the hospital.' I said, "If there was an injury, I thought you would want to investigate further. Don't you have any questions to ask me?" He told me to leave my name, number and IC number. He would call me if he requires any more information.

Hopefully he doesn't, because the motorcyclist only had minor injuries and is now resting. Ameen.

cynical

2011-10-18T07:54:00.005+08:00

I noticed I've been. I read what I wrote 4-5 years ago, compared to now.. I've grown more cynical.

It's just that, everytime I read the news, accidentally watch TV, hear stories of people around me - it is all about people taking advantage of other people, about selfishness, about thoughtlessness, about me me me. I see us wandering around aimlessly.

But I don't want to be a cynical.

My car is due for servicing. Actually it was due for servicing two months & about 20,000km ago. I am planning to hold on to this car, till death do us part. As long as that car can still move, and I can afford to pay the COE.. I want to hold on to it, insyaAllah.

I think, I'll take leave from work today, send my car for servicing and ride a bus.

false promises

2011-10-17T18:09:00.002+08:00

Just because once upon a time, the founder of a company provided good service and/or products - it doesn't mean that as it gets bigger and well known and starts charging exorbitantly just based on their brand, that you'll get the same level of service and quality. When a company gets too big, it is almost impossible for the founder to instill the same values in ALL their employees. It only becomes another passionless money making monster company (eating up all the sincere and passionate smaller businesses).

A service or product can only maintain it's quality if the founder or person who is the good one in the first place, is able to personally oversee it's the delivery & production of the service or goods. Unless he is blessed with a good subordinate who shares his passion and objectives and mission. Even then, once this get's passed on to another person, or worse another place or country - it is as good as another person's business, just riding on the good name created in the first place.

But of course, most of us are blinded by advertisements with trash poetry and false promises. We just want our company to look good, because we hired a well known company.

Which suddenly reminds me of a friend, A. She is rich, masyaAllah. So she was telling me, her old friend came over to tell her about a pyramid scheme. I didn't know this thing still exists. At first, A was just saying, about a business. I asked her what product her friend is selling. She said, she's not exactly sure. There are no actual products.. just some sort of a virtual shop house. WHA???? She said, you can buy different standards of membership packages, and you can make easy money. The lowest or cheapest one is only SGD374.00 (to buy nothing concrete) + a SGD17 membership fee. Then you only need to get 2 more ~~victims~~ down-line members, and that's it. You'll start making easy money. The next level package is only about SGD1000 plus and the highest level about $2000 plus (let me remind you again, to buy nothing concrete). So basically, you make money when there are others who are willing to pay for nothing also.

A told her friend she is not good at selling ideas. Her friend told her of a few tactics, like enticing working people by explaining how she herself is not working, making easy money through this. She being a real person example, will easily convince people and therefore get customers. Another way is to ask the person straight in the face if he cannot afford the small amount - usually the person will want to maintain his...ego? and therefore buy just to prove they have the money. That is SO NOT NICE! But I wish her friend can tell me that in MY face. yes, I'll tell her - like I always tell bankers who force me to take a loan.. if I cannot pay how?

The two stories are related only by the 'false promises'.

Dunia!!! What a sad state we are in now. Need to be alert.

I don't know.

2011-10-12T16:26:00.002+08:00

Truely, I do not know much.

Most of my blabbering on this blog or on FB or wherever, is just about things that goes through my head.
Are my views right? Maybe. Maybe NOT. Allahu'alam.

Because as you and I know, everything happens for a reason.
Sometimes we plan and do all we can to achieve success and a good thing, but failure or bad things greet us instead - still it could be a hikmah. We learn much better through falls and failures, rather than constant success and praises.

Falls & failures & heartbreaks will only make you stronger and better - if you allow yourself to be, insyaAllah.

And that reminds me of something Babur the Emperor said (as I read in The Places in Between).

Every good and evil that exists
If you mark it well is for a blessing.

the ant and the man

2011-10-09T14:33:00.002+08:00

Leen said I've been having a LOT to say lately. Actually it's more like I've been thinking a lot. But it's not just lately, I think a lot all the time, but never penned down. And the other day, I was reading my old blog posts and it reminded me of my state of thought at that time, and it teaches me something about myself or it reminded me some things that I have forgotten - about how I thought or felt.

Ok, so anyway, I was cleaning the kitchen (Rus is having her day out, I saw her outing pictures on FB just now :p ) and as I wiped the kitchen top, I noticed that I have half killed an ant. So as not to put it in further suffering, I said 'Bismillah' and pressed hard to kill it. (I wonder if I've sinned..) Then, it occurred to me, how insignificant it's life is to me. I killed it without thinking thrice (twice, I did). As God mentioned in the Quran, all animals have communities like us. It may have a brother waiting for it to return.

Is that how insignificant some leaders of the world think of their men's lives? These people who are of about the same size, same looks, same make up (a family unit) - do they consider all that, before they send them out with the high possibility of being killed, not to save their country, not to protect other people either - but for power and wealth.

On the other hand, we are even smaller than that ant, to God - considering how tiny our earth is in the Universe.
But Allah loves us and listens to each of our prayers, and tells men not to destroy ourselves - body and soul.

Seeing is no longer necessarily believing.

2011-10-09T10:46:00.007+08:00

Seeing is no longer necessarily believing, especially when seen on the screen. Only seeing with your own eyes, in person can more safely constitute believing. Why?

The news as most of us are learning now, is most times political. What is reported in the News, or everything on TV for that matter, is in accordance to the agenda of the ruling party - whoever that may be. The TV company owner(s) or the government. The images chosen to be shown on TV would of course support their agenda.

Example, depending on the motives, a TV crew be asked to find a corner that looks normal to shoot an interview in a house that is mostly run-down - and all audience will see is that, the interviewee is in an acceptable condition place.

Or, artistes are most of the time, seen on TV - happy, contented and living a life that's out of this world. Behind the screen, just few seconds before the shoot, they may be shouting at someone or sad over something and audience don't see those.

If people spend too much time learning what's on the screen, they loose their sense of what reality is, what matters more in life, the real problems and issues, and always feel that their life is inadequate - for they can never match the images of their favourite artistes that is appearing on the screens.

Even 'Reality TV' is not real. Producers show what they want to show or may even coax participants to act in a certain way or say certain things to create 'drama' or make the episode more interesting.

As such, seeing is no longer believing, especially when seen on screen. Nothing beats experiencing a situation, or a place or someone, in person.

We need to go out to see and to live.

my own reflections

2011-10-08T00:33:00.004+08:00

And do thou (O reader!) bring thy Lord to remembrance in thy very soul, with humility and in reverence, without loudness in words, in the mornings and evenings, and be not thou of those who are unheedful.

Al-Quran (transliteration by Asad) 7:205

Side thought : The best way to grasp the message of the Quran is through the Arabic language itself. I've been shown how intricate the Arabic words are, how rich the language is. MasyaAllah. God help me.

So, today we spoke of the above ayat and the virtue of zikir (remembrance of Allah). The easy zikir being 'Subhanallah' and the essence of zikir is not in how long or complicated the verse you want to use for zikir is, but how it touches your heart and mind with remembrance. The best of zikir, to me, is reading the Quran (and the meanings, for people like me who don't fully understand Arabic.) Because there is a message in the Quran - it's like listening to what Allah has to say to us - paying attention to it.

Of course remembrance of Allah can be in many other ways too, such as reciting the names of Allah & extra solats, among others. But one of my favourite ways of zikir, is to observe nature - these natural things around us which Allah has created, the trees, the ocean, the birds, the bees, the ants - for us to observe, to learn and think. Subhanallah.

Then someone asked about zikir - 3 questions :
1) Can one have his own 'collection' of zikirs?
2) What are the ulama's opinions about the use of melody in zikirs?
3) What about zikir in own language?

Basically the answer provided was : yes, yes and if you can say it in Arabic, why not in Arabic? why in Malay e.g. 'Yang Maha Besar, Yang Maha Besar? It was added that the Salafi would of course disagree - because everything must have reference to the Quran or the Sunnah, if there is no reference, then it's bid'ah. But in the teacher's humble opinion, he thinks it should be ok.

I don't know if I'm a 'Salafi' I don't like labels. But in any case, I can understand where the Salafi may be coming from. Although I may not violently disagree with him, that it's ok for him to have his own 'collection' of zikir - ( wouldn't it be better if he just followed the Sunnah?) - but it's still ok. However, the answer cannot stop there. A person having his own collection, for whatever good reason, may be fine - he is sincere, perhaps he finds that he remembers Allah better, it moves his heart more this way etc

But once that gets passed on to a lot of other people, especially 3rd hand and above - that is where the problem may arise. Not long after, some people may believe this to be a part of a most recommended ibadah (more followed and revered than the sunnah itself) Even now, we can see many examples of doas and zikirs and rituals passed down or learned, that are already confusing people between what's mandatory, what's really just optional, or what is even non-existent in the religion.

And as for no. 2 and 3 - why don't we go back to the essence of remembering Allah. If a person sincerely finds that melody's help him remember with his heart..well, who am I to say. If a person really feels that he grasps the meaning and feel of 'Allah Maha Besar' better than Allahu Akbar - errm..well, ok. What we want to achieve is to remember in awe.
But again, as in the first case, if this gets passed on the 2nd and 3rd person onwards - people may lose track of the real reasons and place more importance on method over objectives - cause it was not emphasized enough.

Risky.

reason to 'entertain'

2011-10-06T08:16:00.005+08:00

I cannot be in charge of 'entertainment'. Unless there are lessons in the entertainment. More and more, people have become confused with their priorities and the importance between the message and the mode.

In the old days, poets were the entertainers - but they didn't just want to write poems - they had a message to share, and idea to feed to the masses - and they do it through their poems. the mode or means itself is meaningless, without an intention or an idea or message to go along with it.

Now, the means itself has become the main menu - doesn't matter if the message is crap or there is actually no message at all.
Most entertainers just want to be famous and rich. The don't become who they become, because there is an idea or message that they want to put across through the mode they are good at. It could be the reason why most songs are lame, with lyrics I cannot take - because they'll take anything, as long as they can be out there. Doesn't matter if the message they are delivering in the product is negative or useless.

It's a challenge to remain relevant and stick to my guns. But I'll keep to my objectives and my principles as much as I possibly can, insyaAllah, Ameen. Ya Allah, make my heart firm in iman and good intentions. If I do sway, don't let me sway too far and bring me back to the straight path soonest. Ameen ya Rabb.

I am Muslim

2011-10-05T08:35:00.003+08:00

I just finished reading I am Muslim by Dina Zaman. My sis in law - asked me to read it. She said I'd find it interesting.

It is interesting, I must say. Most interesting article for me is the one about the bomoh with ken and barbie dolls hanging from the ceiling. It's sad too - the state of most Muslims in Malaysia - and I'm sure a lot like those in Singapore too. But perhaps because Singapore is very much smaller, the issue is not that obvious or not spoken about openly. Or we just don't mix in the same circle? Even if you are, you don't talk much about religion, only to close friends you do - or if you're an asatizah.

It seems like talking about religion is uncool. I wonder if people get offended or uncomfortable if we ask them what their religion is. Don't care much about the race. It should it be as practical as asking, 'what do you do?'. Right?

Sheikh Dr Mustafa Ceric, Grand Mufti of Bosnia, said in his talk on 1st Oct at Grand Hyatt Singapore, his Christians friends said, Muslims are always talking about religion. Talk about something else! He said to them, that they in turn, don't talk about religion at all!

Christians and others, should talk more about their religion - and Muslims - I wouldn't say don't talk about it at all. You'd have to define what it means to talk about it. Because basically everything good that we should do in our everyday life, is to please Allah. And that is our religion - our way of life. So how not to talk about religion so much?

Kan?

Fate 'R Us.

2011-10-03T15:39:00.002+08:00

Whatever we are fated with, is a test for us. God's tests come in different forms and intensity - for each one of us - all of it, we will have the capacity to bear (as God has promised). A favourable result from these tests, is that we come out of it, a stronger and better person (in various ways) - it depends on how we choose to face it.

God may test us with loss of goods, health, loved ones to see - Are we patient? Do we persevere?
Then God may test others with great knowledge or fame or wealth - Are they thankful? Do they forget God? Do they forget their duty to give back to the community? Are they arrogant?

A person may also choose to blame fate (whatever his fate may be) for everything that he is grouchy about. I believe that if a grouchy person becomes wealthy, he will only be a wealthy grouchy person (still).

I saw a video on Youtube about Poverty in America - and it strengthens my belief that everything happens with a hikmah. Although I cried at their plight, the children and their parents - the pain they had to go through - I was very relieved/happy/glad/proud to learn that these experiences have made these kids appreciate life, their parents, other people. They become more matured and are more sensitive towards others. A young girl says, when she grows up, she will definitely (insyaAllah), help others like her cause she now knows what it's like to be poor and hungry.

I don't have a diploma in Islamic studies

2011-10-02T12:46:00.006+08:00

I do not have a Diploma in Islamic Studies. Despite having attended 4 years of twice-weekly classes I didn't get it - because I didn't re-sit for my Balaghah 3rd Sem exams. My friends who did, said it was easy, almost an open book paper. I learnt balaghah - it's like learning prose in Arabic in the 3rd and 4th year of the course. Re sitting for the paper was done like almost 2 years after the subject ended.

I declined to go, because I don't see the point of it all. Truth be told, I still cannot speak Arabic. I understand some words in the Quran, alhamdulillah - some progress than not having learnt any Arabic at all, but I still don't understand much of it's grammar and sentence construct, let alone the truely rich meanings of the way the words are used in Arabic. And you ask me to sit for an almost open book paper on Balaghah, and show that I passed Balaghah when in fact I know next to nothing on this subject? I feel like I'm lying. In fact wouldn't I be?

Another justification I had was that - I started taking the course, not with the aim of paper chase. I truly was in search of a structured class on Islam - and found the diploma course to fit my objectives. Getting the Diploma itself, was not important to me. Most of all, I do not subscribe to going up on stage, especially with robes or what nots, to receive this paper and have pictures taken and everything. Doesn't add anything to anything - except time, and money and dosa on my part for later or even now, questioning the absurdity of it all.

These qualification papers can be quite misleading. Who is to say, someone with these qualifications will sincerely spread the teachings of Islam, because he/she truly believes in the product he/she is delivering? Or that they are only doing it just to support their livelihood? How do you differentiate between one who truly grasps the meaning of Islam, from the one who is just good at memorising and spewing out what he read out of a book, with no opinion of his own when faced with situations that requires more thought and sincerity and compassion?

Of course this problem is not only in Islamic studies but also in the academic studies (I don't like these terms). A LOT of teachers are teaching without thinking. They are just going through motions, finishing their syllabuses, targeting a certain number or passes - doesn't matter if the kids truly understand or they just have good memories. And most teachers may not even believe or have love for the subjects they are teaching, themselves.

You will naturally become a good salesman when you truly believe in the product you are selling. That's why word-of-mouth is very powerful - because people who spread those words (these unpaid effective salespeople ) truly believe in the product when they tell it to their family and friends.

I believe if you truly want to impart an information - the same strong belief in the knowledge you are imparting - must exist in the one imparting the knowledge. Which then leads me to want to talk about - what is true knowledge?? But I haven't even come to the point of this entry - so another time perhaps.

NOW, I'm in a dilemma. With regards to the earlier post about 'the need to reach out', I want to impart these religious... what can I say? information? - it's not so much knowledge - it's more about sharing the light or this sense of security or the iman I'm feeling - to the needy children. More than just money or the ability to attend academic schools - they need iman that will help them through their lives, be it hard or easy in future.

I believe a lot of them are also not sending their children to madrasah (which may or may not have any effect on these kids anyway) because they cannot afford to pay the fees, or they don't know that they can ask to attend for free (boleh kan?), or just because they don't know or they are not confident about filling up forms.

Seriously, filling up forms can also deter one from participating. I, the not needy and somewhat educated one, am one example of that. So many film festivals I could have entered if I can just send the link to my videos. But no... I have to fill up forms, give some technical info about my video, give them 300dpi pictures (and the sponsors sometimes don't even know what is 300 dpi pictures), provide a bio of directors etc etc - and I have so far only submitted 2 forms, in my 1.5 years of filmmaking. and they didn't get selected because I guess my answers and posters/pictures are not up to standard. If you talk about the story - I have seen worse stories entering the festivals. I guess I need to get into the groove of film marketing and submitting forms. But I haven't.

Oops, sorry I digressed.

Yup.. so as I was saying, I want to share Islam, with my fellow needy sisters and their children. But now I'm thinking - why would they trust me? should they trust me as someone who will not share deviant teachings of Islam? I guess they probably wouldn't ask for those - but what if some authorities ask? And now I'm regretting not getting that stupid paper (having paid for the 4 yrs also) that says I have a 'diploma' in islamic studies - what does that mean anyway???

But, I don't want to create excuses for not starting. :(
Alhamdulillah, I do have a certificate which they gave after 2 years through the program. I just have to go search for it. And oh yes, maybe I should go apply for that asatizah recognition thingy at MUIS too - to 'safeguard' me from being accused of daring to 'teach' Islam without due qualifications and recognition. I guess it's for the best of the ummah too, to safeguard them - not that it has no loopholes but hey, we can't have a perfect system - we do the best we can only, then we tawakkal.

Ok lah. I'm good at this.. talking myself out of my own worries and problems. Thanks for listening.

Now for some action.

"Severe" Sun Storm Brightens Skies

2011-10-01T09:31:00.003+08:00

New Aurora Pictures: "Severe" Sun Storm Brightens Skies - National Geographic

Rainbow Auroras

Photograph by Thilo Bubek
A vibrant spectrum of color fills the sky above Tromsø, Norway, on September 26.

Among the beautiful creations of Allah SWT, that I HOPE I'd have a chance of witnessing while still alive - is the aurora. Can't imagine if I had been there. I think I'd cry. Subhanallah.

.

help us help others help us help others

2011-09-30T13:29:00.002+08:00

If we ask ourselves, which is more important - our outcome in dunia or our outcome in akhirah?
Most of us would say 'akhirah'. But most of the times, our actions, and what we spend time on, and our endeavours don't really reflect that.

Ya Allah, guide me to the Light, to the path that is straight. Ameen.

(How is the above paragraph related to what's coming next? well, it's complicated, there was a lot of detours and u-turns within my neurons but the start point and end point were about the low income families. Without further a-confusion...)

Yesterday, was the first time for me to visit a low income family, in my adult life. When I was young, I remember having friends and relatives staying in 1 room flats, and as a kid, to me they seemed happy, no troubles. I myself was living in a 3-room flat.

Anyway.. this family doesn't have enough money to send their children to preschool, which can cost anything between S$75 and above per month. So, their 5 & 6 year daughters, have not attended school before, and the 6 yr old will be in Pri 1 next year. The authorities have identified kids that did not attend pre-school and asked the various races organisations to assist these children. Mendaki will be helping the Malay families. They are going to hold a program whereby they will try to instill reading and writing skills within the 1-2 months at the end of this year - before they enter Primary School - as much as they can.

I can't imagine how these kids will cope with school in Singapore. Even the 'educated' parents have a hard time tutoring their primary school kids - what more these parents who are not good in English to start with. I don't like our education system, the subjects and the test and exams methods. It seems to be more about the ability to confuse the kids as much as possible - then to allow them to learn and achieve something beneficial for real life. I mean seriously, in my life so far, I have not yet come across any use for 2pir or the sin cos of stuff I learnt so hard in school. Unless I was going to work in a place that requires those knowledge and abilities.

And, wouldn't people learn faster and better, when they are in need of the skill and knowledge? Does every single person in Singapore or in the world, need to learn sin cos, to read and analyse Shakespeare? Full of meaningless and/or superficial time-wasting effort. Now children lack morale, compassion - basically almost lacking the skills to live with others considerately.

Actually I want to talk about the low income families and how they can be helped. How do you help them if you're not sure what they are lacking. I mean, yes, I can see that they are living very modestly - no furniture except for a low table. A very old TV - which I don't care for. Seriously.. they can, not have TV. I want to buy them books instead. But I THINK they have just enough food. NO, I will NOT bring the kids to McDonalds to allow them to even start having cravings for McD's junk food.

You know what's missing? Regular religious assistance! Are we providing them with FREE and regular food for the soul? Perhaps we can provide them with this - to help them prepare mentally, physically, spiritually of all the tests they are going through. We can also provide moral support, letting them know, that we will always be there in case they need something.

God help us all in our efforts if it will lead to goodness. Ameen.

where are the real kings, emperors and leaders?

2011-09-27T08:12:00.008+08:00

Leaders nowadays, they declare war or summon people to war, from the comfort of their air conditioned offices sitting on plush seats. While their men suffer in other countries, they get reports for the day and then they go back to the comfort of their home and their families.

As we've often read, in the olden days, when a leader declares war, to defend or to conquer - the leader would go with the troop and will be at the forefront of the army. They take the FULL responsibility of making such decisions. They feel the obligation to feel what the men feel - to experience what their men experience. THAT is a true true leader.

In the book 'The Places in Between', the author quotes snippets from an old chronicles written by Babur (himself), a Muslim Conquerer who lived from 1483-1531. He is from Turkestan, and he died in Kabul, Afghanistan. His real name is Zahiruddin Muhammad Babur. In a mission to conquer places, he and his men, walked across Afghanistan in the mountainous area and at one point, the snow was so heavy that he thought they would die there. They stopped near a cave.

"The first of the troops reached this cave while it was still daylight. About evening and night prayers the troops ceased coming in; after which every man was obliged to dismount and halt where he happened to be. Many men waited for morning on horseback.

The cave seemed to be small. I took a hoe and cleared for myself, at the mouth of the cave, a resting place about the size of a prayer carpet. Some desired for me to go into the cave but I would not go. I felt that for me to be in... comfort, while my men were in the midst of snow and drift... would be inconsistent with what I owed them... it was right that whatever their sufferings were... I should share them. There is a Persian proverb that Death in the company of friends is a feast. "

Can we find or name any leaders of the world today wanting to share their men's hardships?

As Muslims, amongst our values are..

2011-09-26T15:51:00.002+08:00

I am feeling kind of restless today. The feeling of wanting to do/think/learn/write much more than I currently possibly physically and psychologically can.

Or it could be pms.

Right, blame it on pms.

I'm reading this book called 'The Places In Between'. It's about the author, Rory Stewart's journey through Afghanistan by FOOT. That's right, he walked across Afghan, across the snowy mountainous areas too. He came upon villages and villagers that people in the news don't even mention, or may not even know of - and therefore you and I, don't even know exist. Unless you read this book.
He spoke of our misperceptions of other people's wants and priorities in life. Most of us think that everyone wants the same things as us.

It's interesting to note how our priorities differ. Even as Muslims. E.g. there, it seems that amongst their biggest concern (besides the usual prayers & fasting) and what they try hard to comply with, as Muslims - is to ensure that their guests are taken care of, providing food and lodging. They feel a strong obligation to do so. I don't believe we, in Singapore feel the obligation as much - that you would take in a total stranger and give him food/lodging. This seems to be quite common in the middle east. I think I read of the same hospitality in Mohammad Asad's Road To Mecca too.

Whereas in Singapore/Malaysia, our common biggest concerns as a Muslim, other than prayers and fasting, are... is.....

...what ah?

oh the blunders

2011-09-24T23:45:00.000+08:00

I got tickets to the Jamal Abdillah's concert yesterday. But I thought I should give it to someone who would enjoy it more. I gave it to my ~~domestic helper~~ maid, Rus (what is so degrading about the word 'maid' anyway? why DID I think it's degrading? It's degrading as you make it to be. A maid is a female employee employed to help with household chores and that is exactly what it is. Nothing bad about that. Without my maid, my house may be a mess and I owe a lot to her being around. So.. back to the topic)... to Rus and my hubby's aunt, Cik Ita.

But I guess they were not sure how to get to the concert place, so I wanted to send them. Concert would begin at 8pm. So I said we should leave right after our maghrib at home. Hubby wanted to send to, with kids in tow.. so with all the hussle, we left home about 7:27pm

We were asking ourselves, why the concert was done today, it being an F1 weekend in Singapore, surely the place must be crowded and not easy to get to. We planned where hubby should drop Rus, Cik Ita and me, so that I can walk them to the concert place and smoothly and quickly get them to the door, so they wouldn't get lost trying to find the place.

I told hubby we should drop at Raffles City and I'll walk from the underpass to Esplanade. We got down at the hotel side. By that time it was 745pm. I was walking fast as Rus and Cik ita followed quickly behind. We headed to the City hall MRT basement. I know there is walkway to Esplanade from there.

But when we got down, and walking quickly and talking, Rus mentioned that there is a train station at Esplanade itself. Really? Ok then why don't we just take the train there. So I queued up for my train tickets (mind you, this is the first time on a train after a long time). Cik Ita and Rus have their MRT store valued cards. So they had to wait for me while I queued for mine.

After about 2-3 mins, I manage to get my tickets and we went in. We went down the two floors looking for the train to Esplanade. I realise then, that to get to Esplanade we had to change train at Dhoby Ghaut - to the Circle Line. I remembered the very long walk at Dhoby Ghaut, to get from one train line to the other. I told Rus and Cik Ita, that by the time we got to Dhoby Ghaut and walk to Circle Line for the Esplanade train, we would have reached Esplanade if we just walk through the walkway upstairs.

Agreed, we went back up and out, and started walking quickly towards Esplanade. Time check 8:07pm.

When we reach the exit to Esplanade about 8.15pm or so, it was blocked by officers. I asked them how to get to Esplanade because we have a concert to get to. They said the route is blocked, unless we have the F1 pass. He then asked us to try a 'Gate 7' up ahead. We walked further.

It seemed blocked, so we went around upstairs and downstairs trying to find a way to Esplanade. I asked an officer who was standing beside a map, again - how to get to Esplanade. And again, I was asked if I have the F1 pass. "No I don't have an F1 pass, but I do have our concert tickets and it is today, 24th September," I said. I took out the tickets and showed the officer. He read it out. "Yes... 24th September, 8pm, Singapore Indoor Stadium. Hmm.. Ok maybe you can go up here, and walk this way.." pointing to the map beside him.

I realised my biggest blunder then. 'Singapore Indoor Stadium'??? Not Esplanade?? SH*T!

I said, thank you and assured the officer, we'll find our way. I quickly called my husband to tell him of this I told him I'd just take the train to Kallang to meet him there (since I had no idea where he is). As we were walking back towards City Hall MRT station, we saw my hubby and the kids. He asked if there is a station near the Indoor Stadium - I said the nearest I know of is Kallang. He said that that is far, and therefore we should go by car.

We finally got to the place at about 845pm. I saw a 'Stadium' MRT station just beside the Indoor stadium. Pfft Erni.. right. Kallang is the nearest. Anyhow, I walked them to the concert venue door entrance to ensure that they get in correctly, before I felt relieved about leaving them. I hoped that the concert would not end soon.

I felt quite guilty for my blunder and my ignorance about the public transport route, causing them all the unnecessary impromptu brisk walking exercise and the late arrival. When we arrived I heard Jamal singing already. But alhamdulillah, the concert finally ended at 1045pm which was about 2 hrs after they arrived. So, berbaloi jugak lah all the drama.

Haih.

Personal Reflections

2011-09-23T23:45:00.002+08:00

Al Quran 7:189-190
It is He who has created you (all) out of one living entity and out of it brought into being its mate, so that man might incline (with love) towards woman. And so, when he has embraced her, she conceives (what at first is) a light burgen, and continues to bear it. Then, when she grows heavy (with child), they both call unto God, their Sustainer, "If Thou indeed grant us a sound (child), we shall most certainly be among the grateful!"
And yet, as soon as He has granted them sound (offspring), they begin to ascribe to other powers beside Him a share in bringing about what He has granted them! Sublimely exalted, however, is God - above anything to which men may ascribe a share in His Divinity!

I asked ustaz just now, if this warning/advice can also be for us, who after the birth of a child, depend on other than Allah for protection of the baby - e.g. in using 'tangkal' (amulet). He said, actually he didn't want to mention this because there is a khilaf among the ulama's with regards to the ruling of wearing amulets in which is written Words from The Quran. Some permits with conditions, others say it could be shirk.

I tried to look up for the arguments, and found the explanation and references provided in this site looks reliable to me.

In any case, personally, based on what I've read so far and what I understand, I would avoid using amulets - because the case for amulets are more for those who cannot recite or read. But the wearer CANNOT believe that it's the amulet that will protect him. He must believe that it's his doa (through wearing the amulet because he cannot recite or read) to Allah SWT, and that Allah SWT alone who has the power to help him. This is quite very risky to me. It's a very thin line between the person believing in wearing the amulet, and believing in the powers of Allah SWT that does not require any other thing or helper. Wallahu'alam. May Allah guide us.

Al Quran, 7:199
Make due allowance to man's nature; and enjoin the doing of what is right; and leave alone all those who choose to remain ignorant.

This relates to doing dakwah. Someone in class asked, 'must every truely believing Muslim give dakwah to others?' Ustaz says yes. I believe so.

But what is da'wah in the first place? I feel that da'wah can be given in many ways, including being good role models as a Muslim. When a person truely believes, da'wah may come naturally to him. When he finds truth, he feels inclined to share it with others (perhaps through FB status or twitter) and wouldn't that be da'wah? So insyaAllah, I believe that the inclination to da'wah, no matter how small or big, through sincere concern for our brothers and sisters, will come naturally with iman.

And I like Asad's transliteration of this ayat - 'make due allowance to man's nature..'
Man's nature - we are not perfect, we are forgetful - as such, we should make due allowance for one anothers weaknesses, and forgive and have empathy and doa for each other.

intention

2011-09-23T13:21:00.000+08:00

Do we make it a habit to question our intention for doing the things we do?
If the answers after answers, lead to one final objective, i.e. to attain Allah's blessings,
then wouldn't we be rewarded for the simplest things that we do?

The need to reach out.

2011-09-23T08:27:00.007+08:00

I think the bigger urge or desire for something to be done, started with DR MAZA's post about zakat. About finding the people who is eligible for zakat, instead of waiting for them to apply for them. If the organisations and mosques can spend thousands of dollars and man hours looking for zakat payers, about the same amount of time should also be spent looking for zakat eligible people.

(Alms are) for the poor who are straitened for the cause of Allah, who cannot travel in the land (for trade). The unthinking man accounteth them wealthy because of their restraint. Thou shalt know them by their mark: They do not beg of men with importunity. And whatsoever good thing ye spend, lo! Allah knoweth it.

~ Al Baqarah 2:273

Prior to that, I was just thinking about those low income families, not getting the ukhrawi ilmu they SO require in life, perhaps because they cannot afford it. Or they have no drive to do it. So why not GO TO THEM and offer them for free? I think it's our obligation right?

In return for them learning their own religion, they get pocket money and some food served. Do this on a weekly basis? A regular class, where they learn how to read the Quran, learn how to pray. Not really structured, but just like - perhaps and usrah session - where they can come together and we talk about being good Muslims, and we read the Word of Allah a little bit, and we talk about ourselves and our challenges and motivate each other to overcome them.

This way, we become closer to them, we know ABOUT them and we know how to help them. It wouldn't be the monthly or yearly financial assistance - it will be a weekly life assistance.

Ya Allah, how do we proceed? Guide us. Ameen.

Absurd.

2011-09-15T10:14:00.003+08:00

I have, at times, been exasperated at the things that we people, normally do that are actually absurd. The absurdity of this so called modern life. Most people would argue that it is not absurd, simply because this is the norm. Meaning a lot of OTHER people are doing it, therefore it must be okay and not absurd.

Absurd.. let me look up the meaning.

ab·surd [ab-surd, -zurd]
adjective
1.
utterly or obviously senseless, illogical, or untrue; contrary to all reason or common sense; laughably foolish or false.
noun
2.
the quality or condition of existing in a meaningless and irrational world.

Some men have lost the ability to think and judge for themselves. That's sad, because man (and jinns) are the only known creations, given these abilities but we don't use them for ourselves.

Now there are a lot of fuss over doing things that are actually of no benefit whatsoever to the final objectives - but instead, making more complicated for people to reach the good objectives. In fact, some of these objectives have become blurred because of all the 'frills' of reaching it, that some of us don't even know THE objectives. One big example is the objectives of an education.

Have we thought deeply about the objectives of sending our children to school and the objectives of getting an education and the objectives of learning the subjects learned in schools?

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the option not to behave like an animal

2011-09-10T13:17:00.000+08:00

‎"The human creature is the only animal that knows it is only an animal... and therefore the only animal with the option of not behaving like an animal." - The Age of Absurdity (Michael Foley)

"Verily, We create man in the best conformation; and thereafter We reduce him to the lowest of low; excepting only such as attain to faith and do good works: and theirs shall be a reward unending!What, then, [O man,] could henceforth cause thee to give the lie to this moral law? - al Quran At-Tin 95:4-7

We have been created with the ability to judge between good and bad, to choose between doing good and bad. If we don't use this judgement, and we just go with the flow, with the norms of the society regardless good or bad - then we are as good as creatures who cannot think.

Ithaca

2011-09-09T13:56:00.000+08:00

When you set out on your journey to Ithaca,
pray that the road is long,
full of adventure, full of knowledge.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the angry Poseidon -- do not fear them:
You will never find such as these on your path,
if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine
emotion touches your spirit and your body.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the fierce Poseidon you will never encounter,
if you do not carry them within your soul,
if your soul does not set them up before you.

Pray that the road is long.
That the summer mornings are many, when,
with such pleasure, with such joy
you will enter ports seen for the first time;
stop at Phoenician markets,
and purchase fine merchandise,
mother-of-pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
and sensual perfumes of all kinds,
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
visit many Egyptian cities,
to learn and learn from scholars.

Always keep Ithaca in your mind.
To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for many years;
and to anchor at the island when you are old,
rich with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.

Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.
Without her you would have never set out on the road.
She has nothing more to give you.

And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not deceived you.
Wise as you have become, with so much experience,
you must already have understood what Ithacas mean.

Constantine P. Cavafy (1911)

To strive, do good, gain experiences, seek knowledge, seek the truth.

What life is about.

2011-09-08T22:44:00.000+08:00

The news is, life is NOT easy. It's meant to involve struggle.

I always strongly believe that most psychological problems can be cured by understanding our purpose in life. As I have learnt from the Quran, life is a series of tests, to see who amongst us can strive with patience and perseverance.

As a Muslim, we understand that everything we 'own' on earth does not really belong to us. We must be ever ready to accept that God decides how long the loan is, and how it can be taken away from us at any time. So the tip to not becoming a lunatic when one loses their wealth is to know in the first place that it does not belong to us. When a Muslim man has wealth, he must understand that the community has a right to a part of it. Wealth itself is also a test from God.

And again, knowing what we learn from the Quran, that the world is indeed nothing but an illusion and amusement, we should become more aware and conscious of these illusions and therefore not let it keep us in a dreamy state, and sway us from our purpose in life.

Happiness on earth is in the striving, not in the having. For once you have what you strive for, the happiness fades. The more you have to strive, the happier you'll be towards reaching your goal. If strive or pain is not a part of it, there is no happiness nor satisfaction. That's why we don't appreciate free gifts as much as we would appreciate something for which we put effort in or paid for with our sweat, time or our ~~money~~ possessions.

May Allah guide us, Ameen.

*money sounds so temporary, meaningless and worthless. It is only worth something if it can get you something in return. but that is not always true or may not remain true..

The Age of Absurdity - on distinction and conformity.

2011-09-08T21:15:00.001+08:00

Currently reading The Age of Absurdity. By Micheal Foley.

"The genius of branding has been to disguise the undesirable conformity of consumption as it's highly desirable opposite, distinction. So conformity is the result of everyone striving for distinction in d same way."

:p hokay, so back to square 1.

"In general, branding continues to flourish, with consumers paying exorbitant prices for what is suppose to distinguish them from the crowd, but only reveals them to be a part of it. Much consumption is driven by the futile attempt to get ahead of the pack or a defensive need to avoid falling too far behind."

And so the crowd goes in a circle, spending even more on stuff they don't need, paying amounts that could have fed the whole orphanage for a week - trying to be ahead of the crowd they are in. The irony.

I hope my not wanting to conform, is not a sign of an unconscious desire to be distinct, but just a sincere want to stay awake and alert, and not be deceived by the glittery illusions of this world. Astaghfirullah. Ameen.

The Dressmaker of Khair Khana

2011-09-05T21:41:00.000+08:00

This book by Gayle Tzemach Lemmon, is a real story of a woman in Khair Khana, Afghanistan - who braved all odds and dangers to survive and feed her family. It's a story of a woman who survived the Taliban rule, the inside story of how the women in Afghanistan felt and went through, when they were forced to cover themselves from head to toe. Forced to stay indoors most times.

Having read the stories of their ordeal and difficulties, it's hard not to appreciate our own environment. Despite all the complains we have about the government or the people or the 'restrictions' and whatever we can think of, we still have it so good, compared to a lot of other people around the world. What we lack here is gratitude and contentment.

MasyaAllah, I am inspired by Kamila's perseverance and her bravery in doing and starting something she didn't even have experience in. So what's our excuse? :(

warding off evil thoughts

2011-09-03T09:17:00.004+08:00

"If a suggestion from satan assail thy (mind), seek refuge with Allah; for He heareth and knoweth (all things). Those who fear God, when a thought of evil from satan assaults them, bring Allah to remembrance, when lo' they see (aright)!
But their brethren (the evil ones) plunge them deeper into error, and never relax (their efforts). "

Al Araaf 7:200-202

I get them all the time - evil thoughts or distractions of the mind.. and I can sometimes feel their incessant attacks. So it's truly a constant Jihad to ward off these evil thoughts and distractions in my solat and at other times.

May Allah protect us all, always.

A'udzubillahi Minassyaitonirrajim.

send the umbrella

2011-08-25T10:20:00.003+08:00

Last night I dreamt that I worked in a school. I seem to be the office attendant, and my job was to send umbrellas to the teachers when they need it.

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yesterday a doctor, today a teacher

2011-08-23T13:21:00.003+08:00

Yesterday I was ~~writing down~~ scribbling down notes, as my colleague replied to my questions about her system requirements. As I was writing, I went like 'o-o-okay, so what is the other event where you require this alert?'.
She answered and I took that down as I said..'ok, and what about... ". As I was scribbling and replying, momentarily I felt like I'm a doctor.

But.. ok yeah right.

Today, I chatted with my good friend over whatsapp, giving my 2-cents worth about the situation she was in. At the end of the conversation, she said she was summarising the conversation. When she said that, I suddenly felt like I'm a teacher/lecturer.

These 3-secs-feeling-like-you're-someone-else was quite fun. It's like being in their shoes for 3 secs.

But then again, about the teacher/lecturer part.. it COULD mean that I was talking too much. :-|

bow down in worship

2011-08-22T12:40:00.011+08:00

I was reading this transliteration of this verse, and I recall a question asked to me, by a young man, born-Muslim. It was a very interesting question and I'm so glad he asked. Cause I'm sure, it has crossed the minds of some of us, but we may be just too shy to ask what seems like a 'silly' question. He asked, "scientifically dinosaurs exist before Christ (BC), how come Islam isn't around during those days?"

"Seest thou not that to Allah bow down in worship all things that are in the heavens and on earth - the sun, the moon, the stars, the hills, the trees the animals; and a great number among mankind? But a great number are (also) such as are fit for Punishment: and such as Allah shall disgrace - non can rise to honour: for Allah carries out all that He wills."

22:18 Al-Hajj

Through the course of learning more about my own religion, I came to know that actually 'Islam' is an arabic word which means 'submission'. In religious context it means 'submission to the will of God'.

So, it's not just BC. Even BM (before man) - 'submission to God' or 'Islam', has already existed. It existed as long as when Allah creates all that He has created - that includes our universe and the stars.

Subhanallah.

growing old and dying

2011-08-21T22:29:00.005+08:00

Since my late 30s, I have the tendency to think I'm a little bit older than I am. Example, when I had just passed my 37th year, and people ask me how old I am, I tend to say I'm 38 or even coming 40.

Now that I've passed 40, everytime I look at old ladies in their 60s-70s I think about how I'll be - cause it won't be too long when I'm going to be like that - that is, if my decreed time on earth is till then.

I have a vision of how I'd like to be when I'm that old. I hope to be still actively writing, be a thinker, an intellectual person.

An intellectual person, as Syed Hussein Alatas described in his essay in 1959 'The Intellectuals', "is a person who engages himself in thinking about ideas and non-material problems using his faculty of reason." This person may or may not have academic qualifications - and is well versed in the capacity of his intellectual interest.

I guess there is hope for me to be one.

I hope, in my old days, I'm still actively learning new beneficial things, doing dakwah in my own attainable capacity. I hope to write beneficial writings.

I hope I will be around, as long as my children need me, and will go before I become a burden to them. I hope I will go when my iman is at it's peak, I hope I will go easily, I hope I will attain goodness in this world and the Hereafter.

I hope and pray the same for everyone.

Afterall, what is life - if not a preparation for death.

.

human experience

2011-08-15T21:46:00.004+08:00

We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience.
~ Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Yes, I like this.. and I have to agree.

p.s. being on facebook and even on twitter sometimes feels like I'm constantly in a crowded public place. And then I come back to my personal blog, and I feel like I'm in my own room. :)

honeybees

2011-08-14T12:29:00.004+08:00

MasyaAllah.. really really - not for nought has Allah SWT created all that He has created.

But some men, think they know better. They create havoc on earth, they destroy the very things that is contributing to them being alive. Man is man's biggest enemy. No sorry.. man's biggest enemy is Satan. Then I would say, next, is man.

Anyway, these thoughts were spurred by watching this video. God reward this man.

"If the bee disappeared off the surface of the globe, then man would only have four years of life left. No more bees, no more pollination, no more plants, no more animals, no more man." - Albert Einstein

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Race for forgiveness

2011-08-05T20:11:00.003+08:00

Be quick in the race for forgiveness from your Lord, and for a Garden whose width is that (of the whole) of the heavens and of the earth, prepared for the righteous;
Those who spend (freely) whether in prosperity, or restrain anger and pardon (all) men; - for Allah loves those who do good;
And those who, having done something to be ashamed of, or wronged their own souls, earnestly bring Allah to mind and ask for forgiveness for their sins, - and who can forgive sins except Allah? and are never obstinate in persisting knowingly in (the wrong) they have done.

Ali Imran 3:133-135

the sound of music

2011-08-03T17:51:00.004+08:00

To me, listening to a beautiful piece of music can also trigger remembrance and awe in us, of God's creations. And I'm not talking about songs where you listen to words of advice.. i'm talking about a beautiful piece of music, that has the power to move hearts and make you smile involuntarily, just listening to it.

Because if you only knew the science of sound - what sound is made up of, how sound travels, how sounds can sound so nice, or so differently - don't forget, these are all God's unbelievably awesome creations. Subhanallah.

Combine that with a simple and beautiful image of Nature, we get this :

your beautiful apparels

2011-08-01T20:43:00.003+08:00

My hubby sent his 3 jubahs to the Chinese tailor for alteration. The old Chinese lady, the tailor said it would be ready by 6.45pm. However when my hubby arrived there, they were not ready. The old Chinese lady said, a little while more. My hubby said ok.

She finished at nearly 7pm. Break fast time is very near. Then she said she wants to iron the jubahs. Looking at the time, my hubby told her there is no need to. But she insisted. She asked, which of the 3 jubah, my husband will wear to the mosque tonight. Apparently she knows during Ramadan, most muslims go to the mosque to pray. My husband showed her one.

She said, "Gua mesti gosok sama lu punya baju.. baju lu cantik, nanti lu smayang lu punya God manyak suka sama lu.." (I must iron your apparel, you're going to pray, your apparel must be nice, then your God will be very pleased with you."

MasyaAllah. Subhanallah.

Did you know, Allah said in the Quran :

O Children of Adam! wear your beautiful apparel at every time and place of prayer: eat and drink: But waste not by excess, for Allah loveth not the wasters.
Quran, Al A'raf 7:31

How apt for the month of Ramadan. Subhanallah. May Allah guide and reward that kind old soul.

May we gain much in this blessed month. Ameen.

Words - are meant to speak the truth

2011-07-26T15:11:00.001+08:00

I wanted to put some study figures (made up e.g. 7 out of 10 people blah blah) for the bonding video.. then i realise, based on my own experience as a general audience, those numbers/words - when people hear/see it, it's just like trivia. We don't really take any action upon seeing most of those kind of figures. Secondly.. I don't know if I really trust those numbers that I find on the internet. And I'd like to avoid putting something that I don't really believe in myself.

which reminds me of another thing - A Hamza Yusuf video on Poetry that I saw, it's wonderful. He spoke about the poets. He said, in the Quran, Allah divides the poets into two types. Those who weave words, based on the highest bidder. and those who speaks the truth. The one based on the highest bidder - they make up words that people want to hear or pay them to do. Then there are those who speaks what's in their heart, they speak the truth.

He said.. WORDS, are meant to speak the truth. masyaAllah. Its something I'll keep close to my heart and will try to live by as much as I can, for every single word expressed. InsyaAllah. How overwhelming our life is.
How overwhelming God is. Subhanallah.

Missing the Gorilla

2011-07-01T13:37:00.002+08:00

How many times must I be surprised? Or maybe I'm not really surprised. I'm just glad and proud each time, some 'scientific' studies goes to prove the relevance and need of some of God's written rules.

Latest one that I came across is the need for 4 eye witnesses to prove lewd activities against someone. Apparently, as written in the book that I'm reading now - 'The Invisible Gorilla' (by Christopher Chabris & Daniel Simons) - it is in fact natural and common for a man to 'falsely' see things. Even two person can 'witness' and remember differently, missing important points, although they are both there seeing the same event at the same time, from the same place!

The same has been proven personally to me, when one day, both my husband and my younger daughter, 'vividly' remembered seeing me on my bed in the afternoon, checking my iphone. My daughter even 'recalled' what she saw on my iphone screen. The fact is, the whole day that day, my iphone was dead and I was actually reading a book. They didn't believe me when I told them that.

Subhanallah. How Allah knows his creations best.

truthfulness and usefulness

2011-06-14T12:06:00.001+08:00

It is so easy for a reporter to earn multiplied good deeds, e.g. when they report something useful that helps the community or reader gain knowledge/assistance/guidance - and from that report, the many readers help others who in turn help others.

It is also easy for a reporter to earn multiplied bad deeds, e.g. when they report a statement of an interviewee and they twist the original words or intent, which makes the person looks bad or worse, and the many readers in turn pass the news to others and/or readers take actions against the interviewee.

I believe reporters have such high responsibilities and I truly respect those who can upkeep truthfulness and usefulness.

chotto matte kudasai

2011-06-08T14:50:00.000+08:00

Last night's dream, many people attended. My daughters, my mom and possibly my late grandma and a few of my friends.

Anyway, few scenes I remember from the ~~film~~ dream.

1. My daughters and I.. we were walking at some carpark.. trying to cross over a drain.. or was it a wall? And she was singing "chotto matte kudasai, please excuse me while I cry" and I asked her.."eh you know the song?" and we sang together as we walked..

2. At a long table at a hawker center or maybe canteen.. my mom and possibly my late grandma, seated beside me.. opposite me hazman and another guy. and I saw abdillah and his girlfriend? at the end of the table, then he disappeared, and I said, "eh, abdillah dah jalan.." And then the guy next to hazman turned out to be abdillah and gave the whacca-talking-about look. and then I said.. "masyaAllah, that guy at the end of the table look a LOT like you!".

3. Mai and me, we were at a mosque, I think.. on the 2nd floor beside some stairs. Maybe listening to ceramah.. or maybe doing a shoot? There was a door and hazman is on the other side, sitting at a table (maybe the same table from above.. ) and I was asking him.. can you really come to edit tomorrow? (in the dream tomorrow was Sunday). and he said convincingly, "insyaAllah I boleh turun, kak."

4. I was running from the carpark to meet some friends.. I was late and afraid that they would leave without me. A caucasion woman was there walking her bull dog who looked big and friendly - almost like a cartoon. Suddenly the bull dog was running beside me, together. I stopped on a pathway, by some bushes, hoping it'll go back to it's owner. The bull dog stopped too. It stood on it's two hind legs. looked at the flowers in the middle of the bush and said, "flower".
Surprised, I asked the owner,"Did the dog just say 'flower'?!".
"Yes, in fact he can say a few other words".
"Wow!" I said.

** I read in Harun Yahya's book - Matter : The other name for Illusion - that when we are *so-called awake, we actually see the things around us in our minds/brains. Meaning, we are not really 'seeing' the ACTUAL things around us. The images are formed in our brains and we perceive it from our brains. This is confirmed by scientists in the numerous books quoted. And when we dream, the images are formed in more or less the same way.

Makes me wonder, what the difference is, between being 'awake' and dreaming. In both cases, it's the soul that sees the perceived images. MasyaAllah. 'Awake' is how we perceive ourselves to be on this earth. But in fact, we may all be dreaming. (pfft.. okay i know i'm going too deep, too deep! but hey, it's my blog :p ) ..AND, we will really be awake, and see REALITY, when we die from the life on this earth and in akhirat.

Ya Allah, save us from being consumed with the illusions of this world. Ameen.

"Every soul will taste of death. And ye will be paid on the Day of Resurrection only that which ye have fairly earned. Whoso is removed from the Fire and is made to enter Paradise, he indeed is triumphant. The life of this world is but comfort of illusion.

- Al Quran, Ali Imran 3:185
(Picktall)

Field beyond ideas of wrong doings and right doings.

2011-06-07T19:28:00.003+08:00

Disillusioned. Feeling like hiding in a cave... ok, maybe not a cave. Caves are dark. Hide on an island. A Utopian Island. Where there is that field that Rumi spoke of. The field beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing. In my dreams, I'll see you there.

FB status today. Why?

It's the state of the world today. It's the state of people. The state of people's mind and heart.

I don't want to know anymore - not unless I can help make a difference. If there is nothing I can do, I'd rather not know. May Allah save us all.

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.

~ Rumi

NURteensLine - 9777 7687

2011-06-03T14:49:00.004+08:00

Today, I read a piece of sad news (if the link doesn't work, the image is below) in the papers about a newly born baby with umblical cord still attached, allegedly being thrown from a high floor. My first reaction would be to curse and swear that person and liken him/her to.. no.. degrade him/her lower than animals. But on 4th to 5th thought, you know what.. may God give guidance to the person who did this. :'(

GIRLS. The first order of today's post is to say - treasure yourself and your body. They are precious and are not free for anyone who is not legally binded to be responsible, and to look after your welfare (marriage).

However, if you had a weak moment and the boy/man have managed to talk you into letting him have fun with your body, and you find yourself pregnant - have a heart and do not throw the innocent baby's life away in rubbish bins or from a high floor. Imagine being dumped like that when you were a baby.

There are a LOT of married couples out there, wanting children but cannot have one. They would gladly adopt that baby and raise them.

What to do if you or you know of someone who is pregnant out of wedlock? In Singapore, you/or you can advise them to call or SMS the NURteensLine - 9777 7687

Actually you can also call that line for other youth/teen related problems you may face, and you need to find someone reliable to talk to, other than Allah SWT.

Click on the image to read a larger version.

social media and socialising

2011-06-02T21:00:00.007+08:00

Salam! Peace! Hi!

I'm doing a self experiment. Or maybe it's not really an experiment, it's a sort of fasting. Fasting from social media such as twitter and facebook, where news and loads of information come fast. Faster than you can stop to think and ponder. Some so mundane, some I'd rather not know, some very insightful - but those are very few.

Information overflow. Got to start filtering and processing the good ones. And you can't really do that if you're still being bombarded with information.

I also need to know that I am able to control myself. So, yes, I'm taking a break.

I need to question myself, why I'm doing it in the first place - being active on these social medias, that is. Sometimes, as most times, I forget my objectives.. so I have to step back and reflect. Allow my thoughts to process longer - blogs allow you to process your thoughts longer than the 470 characters on FB, as people tend to do, normally. (I think it's about 470 chars - not verified.). Oh yes, and I don't want to be... 'normal'.

There is a saying - I posted on FB before, and no, I'm not going in there to check.. but it goes something like this.. 'If you find yourself thinking like the masses, it's time to step back and reflect.' So step back and reflect, I shall.

And talking about social media.. I'm reminded of my employer's coming D&D event. It's going to be held at a pub. I don't want to go to anymore D&Ds. I don't understand the point of it. Ok, I'm beginning to not understand the point of a LOT of things that people normally do. I question some things most organisations and companies do. Even the Malay and Muslim organisations - but that's another story.

The thing is.. we need to question our actions more often, man!

Back to the D&D thing, so I was thinking.. if they are giving excuses for the staff to go crazy and embarrass themselves - I don't want that. If they feel they are rewarding the staff like this - it's ok, I'm already grateful. Really. If they want to entertain us - well, I don't agree it's at the expense of another colleague being forced on stage to be embarrassed. What other reasons and objectives can there be? And of course, this time - it's at a pub. Double no, thank you.

Apart from that, by doing this extra activities, they are taking even more of our time away from our personal/family lives! Isn't it enough that I am already facing my dear colleagues 9 waking hours a day, 5 times a week. Why do we need m o r e ?

You know, sometimes, I think it's a case of, the employers thinking that they are doing the employees a favour, and the employees are thinking they are doing the employers a favour by coming, and the whole truth is that almost everyone wish they don't have to organise/come for this event. A case to ponder.

p.s. Family days are okay. My family enjoys the company's family days. My children also... kind of enjoyed.. the day when they came to my workplace to play some games, and get to see our office. It's called -Bring Your Kids To Work Day. They should have more of these kind of healthy social events.

me? make this world a better place?

2011-05-31T10:52:00.001+08:00

it's quite a gigantic ambition, for a single person like me. On pondering about it, I think it's a lost cause.. to aim to make the WORLD a better place. Imagine all the citizens of the world becoming honest, sincere, helpful, no more poverty, no more greed and this world will be a better place. Right.. I can't imagine.

I can't even imagine a small organisation with no more backstabbing, bad envy, jealousy, greed for power or greed for money. If we can achieve this - that is BIG! masyaAllah.

But what I am sure of is that we can change ourselves, and perhaps 1-2 people who are somehow affected by our actions or words - some we know and some we don't. So when we say 'make the 'world' a better place - I guess, we are referring to the 'world' in the changed person's view. Okay, as I wrote that, I recall all the killings and the horrible things leaders and people do that comes out in the paper every.single.day. It's depressing! Haih.. okay, erase those thoughts. Look forward - to what we can achieve in Hereafter. Focus on the good we, ourselves, can do to help us, and our loved ones achieve. To help whoever we can help, that is within our means. Must remember, it's the niat, and the action - not the outcome. Outcome is in God's hands.

Right.. let's make this 'world' a better place.

*rambling thoughts * unplugged*

Kandang Kerbau

2011-05-24T14:49:00.000+08:00

In the car after lunch just now, the conversation with my colleagues turned to which hospital we gave birth to our children.
The last three of my children was born in KKH - Kandang Kerbau Hospital. Now, we always refer to the hospital as KKH. In the olden days, we always call it Kandang Kerbau. And we'd always shock our Malaysian/Indonesian Malay speaking friends, when we say we were born in Kandang Kerbau.

And just the day before, as we passed by KKH, my youngest daughter Nadhrah said, "Eeeh.. KKH! I was born here. Kak Eema also and Kak Hanaa also right?"
"Yes :)", I said.
"What about you? You were also born in KKH right?"
"No, actually. I nenek gave birth to me at home."
"What?! Really?? So you don't have a health booklet lah?"

empty or..

2011-05-17T14:15:00.001+08:00

"ummi, what is 'E' there (pointing to d car fuel gauge).
"Empty"
"ooh.. i thought 'Entirely Full'"

choosing how to learn Islam and from who.

2011-05-17T12:37:00.004+08:00

For a long while when I was a young adult, I did not attend any religious class. Perhaps because I was just very skeptical about what they teach and about them.

Then, when I had a 'calling', when I wanted to learn more about Islam, my own religion, I tried to attend a religious class. Being a very skeptical person, who feels that she has more or less, a firm opinion - it's not easy to please me.

I tried one class conducted by an ustazah (a female teacher), halfway through I felt like I wanted to leave. The actual lessons taught was superficial, mostly reading from some simple fiqh book, accompanied by funny examples and lame jokes. Lame to me. And then, I remembered, some kids were running at the back - she almost shouted at them, she said sternly "kids, PLEASE keep quiet! Can the mother, PLEASE look after those kids.. this is a class" - something to that effect. Immediately, I knew I did not want to attend this class already. At the end of the class she was singing to the best of her abilities - and I have to say, she did it well, the 99 names of Allah. But I'm not here for a nice voice or some lame jokes. I want to really LEARN, not be entertained.

Then I tried to attend another one by an ustaz (a male teacher). Again, the lessons were quite superficial, accompanied by some jokes, and then he is always talking about defending ourselves from sihir and he tries to sell his stuff - some things that can heal, or make us clever etc. at the end of every class I can remember. I attended a few weeks - but I am disappointed and almost giving up on learning.

I got quite desperate to find a class at mosques, where I can learn Islam systematically. What is the basis of the rules set in Islam? What are our sources? So far, I've only been learning what we must do or cannot do - with no explanations.

At that point, I realise the only way I can get these kind of information, is to attend a formal and 'certified' Islamic class - that issues certificates or diplomas. So I joined a diploma class with the intention of wanting to learn Islam from scratch and systematically. Get a bit of arabic too, to help me more or less understand the Quran as I read it. Alhamdulillah, my objectives were met.

I realise I am choosy in how I want to learn and from who I want to learn. And shouldn't we all be choosy about the teachers we learn from?

For me, besides the knowledge, they must be broad minded, not arrogant, kind to others, sincere, not threatened by questions from students and one who knows their own limitations in God's knowledge - and are therefore acknowledges other opinions humbly without necessarily being shaky about their own, if they are sure about their stand.

And I want to be like them also. insyaAllah.

it's complicated

2011-05-12T14:11:00.000+08:00

This country is multi-racial, multi-religious. But I guess it doesn't have much 'self-esteem' and refuse to celebrate this fact. As such, the government has defined 'public places' to be free of any religious activities. They also maintain that this is a secular country, and as such - religious life should be separated from secular life. Going to school, working and attending official gatherings are considered 'secular' activities.

Why can't we be Malays, Chinese and Indians, and still be Singaporeans? Why can't we attend school and go to work as Indians, Chinese and Malays? Why must our kids go to school, dressed in western dress code? Aren't we proud of our own?

Why can't we be taught tolerance, instead of integration? Don't you lose your cultural and religious values when you try to 'integrate'. What the hell does it really mean anyway? The dictionary says it's 1) combine or be combined to form a whole 2) bring or come into equal participation in an institution or social group.

I'm sure we are already a whole. The arms, legs, head, body, face - forms a whole man. The legs, need not look like, or behave like the arms in order to 'integrate'. Chinese, Malays, Indians, Eurasians, as a whole, we're Singaporeans.

Or maybe they meant the 2nd one. But that defeats the whole notion of 'multi-racial, multi-religious' - when everyone is equal. Why is the government trying to kill diversity?

They are such hypocrites. I'm sure they or most of them, have a religion. A religion is a belief that someone subscribe to. When a person believes and subscribe to it, it's not like an extra curricular activity or feeling that you can put aside. How can one 'put aside' religion during 'secular activities'. Why can't we be ourselves, as long as we don't trouble others or cause any harm to others? Why have they made it so difficult for us to live a normal life?

Oh.. how man have made life difficult for man. God made life simple, man go out of their way to complicate it.

candle

2011-05-10T16:39:00.001+08:00

The world is like a dark room, blackened by deceit and greed.
Kindness and sincerity is like a candle,
Warm and welcomed
And painfully insufficient to brighten up the room.

~ madame blossom ~

Food for thought

2011-05-07T16:31:00.007+08:00

I was observing a meal someone was having - rice with chicken and soup and vegetables. And as the food slowly disappears from the plates and bowl, into the mouth, digested and turned into energy for the body, my mind wandered.

That's basically the function of food - to give energy. Quite simple. Food is also actually simple to get, and you don't need that much for your actual biological needs.

But in modern days, food has become a hobby and sometimes an art in itself. People are spending so much money and so much time on preparing and buying food. People making food look like masterpieces.. Food that are far too expensive and the portion too little. Food that take hours to prepare and decorate. All these food, will then be scooped and put into the mouth and all the decorations and arrangements spoiled in seconds. Amazing how much time they put in for that few seconds.

People also prepare and consume too much food, it is a habit and a culture, rather than a physical need. It feels wrong, for most of us, if we don't prepare too much food for any gathering - and it's not unusual for too much leftovers, that we coax our guests to bring home, and which they will throw away after a few days in the refrigerator.

If everyone just eat what the body requires, and food are distributed fairly in the world, there will be no world hunger and everyone will be slimmer and healthier. Right, the utopian thought.

"Oh children of Adam! wear your beautiful apparel at every time and place of prayer; eat and drink; but waste not by excess for God loveth not the wasters."
Al Quran - Al Araf, 7:31

As With Most Men - Mark Gonzales

2011-05-07T14:33:00.003+08:00

As with most men it is easier for me to give hugs than to accept them
Lest the truth be known that men
are nothing more than emotional skyscrapers built with glass infrastructures spray-painted the color of steel and nicknamed strength.
Strange isn’t it?
what walking contradictions are we called men.
Men are taught to colonize at the age of 5 through gangs like cops and robbers, cowboys and Indians
At the age of 8 we are given helmets, and told to hit each other in the head,
Bleed but do not bleed
Cut but do not cry
Be a man
Join the military
Die for your country
And if death comes to you look it in the eye and say
“bring it on motherfucker I fear nothing…but intimacy.”
When it comes to intimacy men quiver like fault lines, crumble like cities.
What walking contradictions are we called men.
Men sign peace accords while abusing their wives
Accept the Nobel Peace Prize while reducing health care
Pledge to rid the world of terrorism, while simultaneously denying government aid to any country that defends a woman’s right to choose
During the 1970s, the US government forcibly sterilized an estimated 50% of the indigenous population of America’s Midwest
Telling them the process was reversible.
Can you say ‘biological terrorism’?
And in a global war against terror maybe testosterone is the real terrorist
And if so, how many of these star-spangled-singing flag-waving citizens
Would continue to do so if terror was not racialized
But gendered?
Would the US military turns its guns on itself
For its sex crimes throughout Southeast Asia, Africa and the Americas?
Would MTV be firebombed for its objectification, hypersexualization of our women of color’s bodies?
Would we stop looking towards the Muslim world for misogyny and instead turns our sights to Madrid, Montreal,
New York
Los Angeles?
And now I understand my sisters when they say “every woman has a story that’s been told a maximum of once or maybe less”
And that is why you will never hear me call a woman slut, bitch or dyke
No matter what she does
‘Cuz I do not blame her
I blame the men who have emotionally and physically raped her
I blame these corporations whose images tell her they hate her
And I put my arms on her shoulder and tell her how grateful I am to God that she created her.
Men take note this is how you give love
This is how you receive hugs
Press flesh to flesh
‘til breath crumples
Like emotional origami.

Mark Gonzales

flower for a mother

2011-05-06T16:00:00.000+08:00

For 2 years now, i'd find a flower on my table for mother's day. From a colleague who is not even close to me. Apparently, she gives it to every known mothers in the company. So sweet of you, Serene Chai :))

So, I asked the young lady, what drives her to do this every year. I mean, surely there must be some strong idea or feeling tha...t makes her do this. There are, I guess..30-40 over mothers in this company? She buys the flowers and she goes around at every mother's table to place them, early in the morning.

She replied :
"Maybe because personally I'm a Catholic and we were taught since young to praise Mother Mary (Jesus's mom). Actually I feel alot ever since I joined this company. I see the management team, mainly women, and they have family with children yet they still fly around, focus on work so well and have a healthy balance with family. This is something that is not easy to achieve hence I thought that it will be nice to give flowers on Mother's day to salute their hardwork between work and family."

Although I don't quite agree with the 'healthy balance' part.. :p but still.. it is such a sweet thought and gesture. It's people like her that makes this world a little more nicer to live in. :)

p.s. Muslims love Mother Mary too! Mary is mentioned in the Quran at numerous places. In fact, there is a chapter in the Quran named after Mary. :)

"Behold! The angels said: 'O Mary! God hath chosen thee and purified thee; - chosen thee above the women of all nations.'"
Al Quran - Ali-Imran 3:42